Howard the Duck (1986)

Tim Robbins: Phil Blumburtt

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Howard and Phil have landed in a pond] 

  Howard T. Duck : Philsy, help! Philsy, help me!

  Phil Blumburtt : Never heard of a duck that couldn't swim.

  Howard T. Duck : Shut up and save me!

• Phil Blumburtt : DUCK!

  Howard T. Duck : And proud of it!

• Phil Blumburtt : Howard, in prehistoric times you flew. Fly, Howard! Find your instincts, trust your birdness, FLY!

• Phil Blumburtt : [working on the ultralight]  Did you find the toolbox?

  Howard T. Duck : Yeah, I know why you want a toolbox - you got a screw loose.

• Phil Blumburtt : Get out of there. Duck!

  Howard T. Duck : And proud of it.

• Phil Blumburtt : Hi, sorry I missed the show. I came to watch you undress though and I brought a pizza.

• Phil Blumburtt : I've already got a theory.

  Beverly : What theory?

  Phil Blumburtt : Well, this is, of course, the evolutionary ladder showing how man progressed from monkey to me, for instance.

  Howard T. Duck : You consider that progress? Jeez, you're all hairless apes? That's really disgusting.

  Phil Blumburtt : Now, I want you both to imagine, somewhere in the universe, is Howard's world. Picture it, in your mind, a world almost exactly like ours except the progenitor of the dominant species was not a monkey - but, a duck!

  Howard T. Duck : Sound theory. Every school duck knows this stuff!

• Phil Blumburtt : [With Beverly in tow, a depressed Howard exits the museum where Phil works]  ... Beverly! Howard, wait! Come on, don't flutter off in a huff. Listen, I've got some important matters to clean up here...

  Dr. Chapin : [from back in the museum]  Blumburtt! Did you hear what I said?

  Phil Blumburtt : ...I'll call you tonight.

  Dr. Chapin : Blumburtt, I want you back in here! Now!

  Phil Blumburtt : I'll figure out a way to help Howard, I swear. Just don't show him to anybody else...

  Howard T. Duck : I understand, Phil; it's the thought that counts...

  [notices a young couple on the street] 

  Howard T. Duck : ... They look hungry; get 'em a banana.

  Phil Blumburtt : Hide him, Beverly! Take him to a movie or something!

  Howard T. Duck : That sounds like an idea. What's playing?

  Beverly : Look, Howard, I didn't know where else to go for help.

  Howard T. Duck : Your hand still beats mine; I'm not sure where to go, period.

  Dr. Chapin : BLUMBURTT! WHERE ARE YOU? INSIDE!

  Phil Blumburtt : Coming, coming!

  Beverly : Howard, are you sure you're okay?

  Howard T. Duck : Of course; why shouldn't I be? I only got blasted jillions of miles through space, ended up on another planet, and was just given an IQ test by a janitor. Hasn't everybody had at least one day like that?

  Beverly : Look, you may be trapped in a world you never made; but, to put it philosophically, who isn't? Heck, *I* didn't make this world either. If I had, my whole career wouldn't be falling apart.

  Howard T. Duck : ...Touche, Bev. How's this for a deal: I fix your career, you fix my life. Sound fair?

  [several children laughingly rush Howard, with their Teacher in tow] 

  Teacher : Look at this wonderful exhibit!

  Howard T. Duck : EXHIBIT? Nice. For a minute, I thought you were gonna call me a freak or an outcast... like in *The Elephant Duck*! Now THERE was a downer.

  Teacher : It's so lifelike and realistic.

  Howard T. Duck : I cannot begin to tell you how right-at-home that makes me feel.