Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986)

Whoopi Goldberg: Terry Doolittle

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [Trying to decipher Jumpin' Jack Flash's lyrics] 

  Terry Doolittle : I was raised by two lesbians? Come on, Mick. Fuck a duck!

• Terry Doolittle : Drag the river! There are killers running around the fucking city!

  Detective : How would you like me to wash your mouth out with a wire brush?

  Terry Doolittle : How'd you like if I kicked you in the nuts so hard that they get lodged in your fucking nostrils?

  Marty Phillips : My, that's a vivid image, isn't it?

• [trying to decipher the lyrics to Jumpin' Jack Flash] 

  Terry Doolittle : Mick, Mick, Mick! Speak English!

• Terry Doolittle : [talking to a police detective who assumes she's a prostitute]  What is it with you people? Every time you see a black woman there has to be a pimp or a john? What, do you think there's a lot of work down on the pier for hookers? Do you think I'm giving blow jobs down there to goldfish?

• Terry Doolittle : I'm a little black woman in a big silver box. On the top of it it says "phone".

  Terry Doolittle : [screams]  Help!

• Mr. Van Meter : Do you mean you're a civilian? You don't know anything about this, do you?

  Terry Doolittle : I don't know *dick* about this! Except some guy calling himself "Jumpin' Jack Flash" taps into my computer! Tells me I gotta go to his house and get a frying pan! To call Van Halen... Van Morrison...

  Mr. Van Meter : Van Meter.

  Terry Doolittle : ...Van Meter!

• Marty Phillips : [noticing Terry's dress, which has recently been partially run through a shredder]  Am I just square, or is there something wrong with your dress?

  Terry Doolittle : [glares at him]  I got moths. Big, mutant, junkie *moths*!

  Marty Phillips : Jesus, Terry. You got a dead guy, you got cops, you got your apartment trashed... what are you getting involved in? What are you doing?

  Terry Doolittle : I'm... winging it!

  Marty Phillips : [exasperated]  Oh, you're winging it!

  Terry Doolittle : Yes, I'm winging it, Marty!

  Marty Phillips : Well, that's great!

  Terry Doolittle : Why, thank you!

  [She herds him out the door] 

  Marty Phillips : Terry...

  [She slams the door in his face] 

• Terry Doolittle : [typing and speaking aloud]  What else can I do?

  Jack, actual text : [NEED YOU TO CONTACT OTHER AGENTS] 

  Terry Doolittle : [reading aloud]  "Need other c - " Are you crazy? You need more contacts? I work at a bank!

  Terry Doolittle : [typing aloud]  Who?

  Terry Doolittle : [reading aloud]  "First go to my apartment in New York and get something for me." God, what do you need? A trenchcoat? A camera? Microfilm! Ooh, ooh...

  Terry Doolittle : [typing aloud]  What?

  Terry Doolittle : [reading aloud]  "A frying pan." I'd have probably thought about that next.

• Terry Doolittle : Do the world a favor! Get yourself an office! With a desk! And a lamp!

• Terry Doolittle : This is great. I mean, I'm down here at 1:30 in the morning on the docks. I should just pin a hundred dollar bill to my ass and scream "Victim here! Victim here!"

• Terry Doolittle : [into phone]  You want a quarter? Kiss my ass! Find me in New York for this fucking quarter!

• Terry Doolittle : Dog's barking, can't fly without umbrella.

• [at a spa] 

  Terry Doolittle : What the fuck are you running here, Wild Kingdom?

• Detective : Is she on some kind of medication?

  Marty Phillips : Not that I know of. Are you on some kind of medication?

  Terry Doolittle : Marty! You know, you can talk directly to me, asshole.

• [Terry cuts off the Russian video from her computer monitor] 

  Fred, 1st National Bank : You should have left it on. It's almost time for "Leave it to Brezhnev."

  Terry Doolittle : No, it's not. It's time for "Gilligan's Gulag."

• Terry Doolittle : I've just had several of the worst days in my young life, Mr. Page, and the last thing I need is some jighead like you to be screaming at me in a whiny voice. If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna snatch this badboy off your head

  [pulls off Page's toupee, he gasps] 

  Terry Doolittle : and ram it up your ol' chocolate whizway.

• Jack : Knock knock.

  Terry Doolittle : Leave me alone.

  Jack : I'm sorry. Unavoidably delayed in London. Queen thanks you.

  Terry Doolittle : [typing]  Frankly, I don't give a shit about the queen. I did give a shit about you, however. I sat in that restaurant feeling stupid. And hurt.

  Terry Doolittle : [stops typing]  I mean, what happened to you? All you had to do was come and say "hi" or "thanks" or something. I mean you just left me sitting there. But no, you sent me to a restaurant with shitty bread sticks.

  Jack : Sorry. I still want to to take you to dinner.

  Terry Doolittle : [typing]  Next time I'm in London, I'll look you up.

• Marty Phillips : [after shootout ensues and the criminals are apprehended]  Anything you want me to tell Jack?

  Terry Doolittle : Yeah. You can tell him not to forget our date.

  Cynthia : All this is for a date?

• Terry Doolittle : Look, he's been shopping at Walgreens again. He's got his Brut collection.

  Doug : Hey, at least I'm always ready for ladies.

  Terry Doolittle : Hey man, try some soap, you know?

  Doug : I did. It got lonely.

• Jeremy Talbott : [to his thugs]  Don't kill her.

  Terry Doolittle : No, no. Don't kill me. You're right.

  Jeremy Talbott : She's worthless dead.

  Terry Doolittle : Listen to the man.

  Jeremy Talbott : We've got to be sure.

  Terry Doolittle : That's right, Mr. Talbot.

  Jeremy Talbott : So shoot her in the legs.

• Terry Doolittle : [while she is drugged with truth serum]  Look what they did to this woman - she looks *terrible*!

  Receptionist at Elizabeth Arden : It's a man.

• Archer Lincoln : Do you know what a pawn is?

  Terry Doolittle : [sarcastically]  Yes, it's a shrimp.

  Archer Lincoln : That's a prawn. A pawn...

  Terry Doolittle : ...is the smallest piece on the chessboard!

  Archer Lincoln : And the most expendable.

• Terry Doolittle : Liz! Liz! Liz! KGB!

  Liz Carlson : Not in front of the kids!

  Kristi Carlson : Can I write "KGB" on the cake?

  Liz Carlson : No, you may not.

• [while she is being chased by thugs] 

  Terry Doolittle : I got diseases... I got shit that will make your dick fall off!

• Terry Doolittle : There is a dead man, floating around in the river!

• Terry Doolittle : Jack! what is this? Everytime I turn around I get this Russian bitch on my terminal. This fucking Machine!

• Terry Doolittle : I didn't know that's what happens when you put Ex-Lax in tea.

• Terry Doolittle : Where the fuck is the taxi?