- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Some dickhead is standing in my sun!
- Sgt. Nick Lassard: Oh, Captain Harris! Hey, I didn't see you there. You know, I don't think we've been introduced. My name is Nick...
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: I don't care who you are, buttwipe. Just get out of my sun!
- Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe?
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Scram, sleazeball!
- Sgt. Nick Lassard: Okay, fine.
- [Leaves]
- Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe, huh? Never heard that before.
- Lt. Proctor: That was great, Sir!
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor?
- Lt. Proctor: Yes, Sir?
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Now you're in my sun.
- Sgt. Moses Hightower: Sir, I realize this is your jurisdiction. But if there is a rescue attempt, we would like to volunteer.
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Commissioner Murdock, I couldn't agree more. I think it is vital that the rescues know Commandant Lassard intimately. Now, I can vouch for the abilities of these officers. After all, I trained them myself.
- Sgt. Larvell Jones: Must be the drugs.
- [Captain Harris, with the word Dork burned into his chest, approaches a bar where Cmndt. Lassard, Chief Hurst, Chief Murdock, and the Mayor of Miami are seated]
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Oh Mr. Mayor, excuse me sir. I don't mean to insult your city, but the people on this beach are very rude and hostile.
- Mayor of Miami: Well, I'm sorry to hear that... Captain Dork!
- [the gentlemen at the bar break down in laughter, and Harris finally realizes what has been burned on to his chest]
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: You'll never get away with this, you two-bit filthy scum!
- Tony: What did he call me?
- Mouse: Scum.
- Tony: Ah. Well, perhaps you'd like to leave now.
- [snaps fingers]
- Tony: Mouse?
- [Mouse cocks his pistol]
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: [laughs weakly] About that "filthy scum" comment...
- Tony: Shut up, shark bait.
- Capt. Thaddeus Harris: "Shark bait"?
- Sgt. Eugene Tackleberry: [a shark starts swimming toward the beach and everybody is running away until the shark swims right up to Tackleberry's gun] . You leave the swimming area NOW, Mister!
- [the shark swims away]
- Sgt. Eugene Tackleberry: .