Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984) User Reviews

A Step in the Right Direction for Zadora, but Still a Stumble

[ascheland · 5/10 · 4 July 2017]

When Pia Zadora was rising to fame in the early 1980s she was always sold as a coquettish sexpot, from posing nude for Oui magazine to starring as Stacy Keach's teen temptress daughter in "Butterfly." Even her first album, "Pia," had the former Broadway performer heavy-breathing her way through soft pop songs, as if whispering into a lover's ear (until a chorus of back-up singers barges in, drowning her out). It was the career her then-husband Meshulam Riklis wanted for her, not the one that best suited her abilities, the multi- millionaire seemingly over-estimating her acting skill while underestimating her singing chops. That's not to say Pia wasn't complicit in this career plan; I just always got the impression she didn't want to be an international sex symbol as badly as her husband wanted to be married to one. As a result, Pia Zadora was a Hollywood joke before the '80s hit their midway point, with 1983's release of "The Lonely Lady" the punchline.

Things started to turn around by 1985, but before they did there was 1984's barely released musical comedy "Voyage of the Rock Aliens," a last ditch effort to establish Pia as a movie star. It's a step in the right direction for Pia, playing to her strengths — singing and light comedy — rather than trying to present her as a barely-legal seductress. Unfortunately, even though she's stepping in the right direction, the movie she's in stumbles.

"Voyage" is the story of a rock n' roll obsessed aliens (portrayed by the band Rhema) who, after a screening of the video for Pia's duet with Jermaine Jackson, "When the Rain Begins to Fall," beam down from their guitar-shaped spaceship to the town of Speelburgh (insert eye roll here). Speelburgh is known for its toxic beaches, horrible fashion and camera-mugging. Also, there's some sort of beast with rubber- tentacles living in its waters that no one seems to notice. Pia plays Dee Dee, a cherubic high school hottie dating Frankie (Craig Sheffer). Frankie is a leader of the rockabilly band The Pack, though he never once performs with it. And he doesn't want Dee Dee to perform with the band, either. The aliens, dressed like they hail from the planet Chess King, have a hard time fitting in until they introduce the teens of Speelburgh to their synth-heavy, New Wave-ish sound and before you know it they're being invited to play at the Heidi High cotillion. Then the aliens' blond commander ABCD (pronounced "Absid") gets one look at Dee Dee and literally explodes with desire. Once re- assembled, he decides the quickest way to win Dee Dee's heart is to allow her to perform with the aliens.

Also: Michael Berryman escapes from the local Hospital for the Criminally Insane, going on a chainsaw murdering rampage while the late Ruth Gordon pops up from time to time as a clueless sheriff, because why not?

Though "Voyage" is a comedy, it's seldom funny in the way its makers intended (only Alison La Placa, as Dee Dee's best friend, gets any genuine laughs), and not nearly as funny as the drama "The Lonely Lady." There is some fun to be had at Craig Sheffer's expense as he lip-syncs "Nature of the Beast" while slinking around the woods and jabbing his cheekbones at the camera, and Pia's otherworldly fashions (complete with an unflattering side ponytail held in place with a spool) will inspire some embarrassed titters. Still, "Voyage" will produce more groans than guffaws.

And then there's the music. To be fair, there are a few listenable tunes. I liked Rhema's song "21st Century" well enough, and Pia does all right with "When the Rain Begins to Fall" and "Little Bit of Heaven" (both songs hits in Europe), but otherwise the music ranges from forgettable to out-and-out terrible. Though more in her element, the quality of Pia's vocals is often inconsistent. Not helping is "Let's Dance Tonight," a retread of one of Zadora's cheesiest efforts, "Rock it Out," down to pushing the star aside so back-up singers can shout the chorus over and over again (which amounts to shouting the song's title, over and over again). No wonder people were so astonished when she belted out pop standards on the 1985 album "Pia & Phil". As for the dancing, well, it's energetic!

"Voyage" isn't the worst movie in Pia's filmography. It is, however, the worst in many of her co-stars': La Placa, Berryman, Gordon, the band Rhema. Even Sheffer, whose credits include such gems as "Killer Virus" and "Merlin: The Return," probably winces when reminded of his lead role as Pia's bubble-butted boyfriend. Yet "Voyage" retains some charm as harmless, extra-cheesy fun, even if it ultimately fails to live up to its potential as an ahead-of-its-time "Earth Girls Are Easy" and is instead a forerunner to 1989's "Dr. Alien." Then again, "Voyage," "Earth Girls Are Easy" and "Dr. Alien" would make a helluva Bluray triple feature, so feel free to run with that idea, Shout Factory.

Bonkers science fiction musical

[BandSAboutMovies · 6/10 · 27 May 2019]

I adore Pia Zadora. Nothing you say to me will ever change my mind. Pia could go on a murder binge and it'd only make me love her more. She could start a sweatshop, perpetuate the opioid crisis and make fun of Lucio Fulci movies and I'd still cut her a break. She's everything wonderful and joyous about the 1980's. At around 15 minutes into this film, she shows up in red leather pants and cutoff sleeve Union Jack shirt while a sea monster menaces the beach, belting out a tune and it was all I could do to not explode in pure joy.

To create a movie about aliens who have come to Earth to discover the power of rock and roll, of course you would turn to James Fargo, the director of Clint Eastwood's The Enforcer and Every Which Way But Loose.

Somewhere in space, Robot 1359 has the same voice as Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) and is leading a crew in search of the origin of rock 'n roll, which takes the entire crew to Earth. That's where Dee Dee (Pia!) sings all about her love of Frankie (Craig Sheffer, Aaron Boone from Nightbreed) to her girlfriend Diane.

The aliens - led by ABCD (Tom Nolan, who was once the child star Butch Bernard and was the writer who reported the phrase "don't CENSORED with the formula" in an article about Mike Love and The Beach Boys for Rolling Stone) - land in Speelburgh, a fact only noticed by the sheriff (Ruth Gordon!).

Dee Dee's dream is to sing with Frankie's band, The Pack. ABCD gets a dream too - to win over Dee Dee, who makes him lose his mind to the point that his head blows up. And oh yeah - there are two serial killers on the loose, Chainsaw (the ever-wonderous Michael Berryman) and The Breather (Wallace Merck, who was in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives and Super Mario Brothers). The band Rhema plays most of the aliens while Jimmy and the Mustangs are The Pack.

None of this movie makes any sense whatsoever. And it's awesome. Imagine a series of music videos with Pia Zadora dancing on top of planets and wearing some of the most mindbending science fiction outfits ever in a world that seems perpetually stuck in the 1950's as filtered through the lens of the early 1980's. If that sounds like perfection, good news. We're gonna be best friends.

Now, you may be wondering - why the hell did this movie start with a music video for Pia Zadora and Jermaine Jackson singing "When the Rain Starts to Fall?" It has nothing to do with the rest of the film, appearing to be an Italian post-apocalyptic movie. I can only assume that this decision came about as all movie decisions were arrived upon in 1984. Cocaine. Glorious, glorious cocaine.

Needless to say, this movie enjoyed an incredibly limited theatrical release in the United States and a somewhat wider one in Europe. It made it to a Vestron Video VHS and occasional HBO viewings four years later, but then disappeared off the face of the Earth, other than in Germany, where it's had numerous releases on DVD and blu ray.

Be warned - if you come to my house and ask me to pick a movie, chances are I'm going to make you watch this while I sing its songs at extreme volume.

Sci-Fi Musical Comedy with Pia Zadora

[danielemerson · 6/10 · 12 October 2016]

The title of this review does let you know pretty much exactly what you're in for.

This is, despite many flaws, quite a lot of fun if you're in the right mood. Yes, the SFX are clunky, the jokes and visual gags misfire most of the time and the music is pretty weak. The music video with Pia and Jermaine Jackson has precisely no place in the movie's plot, so that's sort of a plus point in this reality.

However, the sense of energy and fun, especially from Pia Zadora, keeps the nonsense ticking along and Michael Berryman's chainsaw maniac subplot is amusing. And you could cut yourself on Craig Sheffer's cheekbones.

As Eighties sci-fi musicals go, 'The Apple' is easily far worse than this.

I was in this Movie.

[crag66 · 10 May 2000]

If anyone has questions about this movie please let me know, I was in it. I played the part of NPQR the Alien. I also co-wrote several songs for it.

And yes, this movie is about as cheesy as you can get. It was supposed to be a spoof on 60's beach movies with some (then) modern twists to it. The bands featured in the movie are Rhema and Jimmy and the Mustangs, I was in Rhema. Pia was a delight to work with as was the whole crew and cast.

Hilarious!

[jamie_likeskylie · 3/10 · 12 May 2004]

Pia Zadora is my new favourite 80's leading lady. This film is atrocious. The acting is bad, every joke falls flat, and the aliens are annoying beyond belief! I like the songs a lot. Bizzarely many of them are badly re-recorded versions of Pia's own songs. This is most obvious in 'A Little Bit Of Heaven' which she sings here with the alien commander Absid. Fans of trashy 80's movies will love it! It's even worse than Xanadu and Grease 2! Pia's outfits rock too! I'd give the plot 1/10, the acting 1/10, the feel-good factor is at least a 7/10, and the soundtrack is a 10/10 or 1/10 depending on your taste in music. Watch out for Pia's all singing, all dancing performance in the ladies room! Hilarity awaits you.... Buy, buy, buy!

Pia keeps her top on, but Craig takes his off.

[LeatherCajun · 1/10 · 8 April 2020]

This movie is VERY VERY bad. That any reviewer here flagged a spoiler alert is rather funny, as there is nothing remotely like a plot that could be spoiled.

The one truism here is that whoever was in charge was in love with the look of Craig Sheffer. His navel and 8-pack are on display throughout and his couger song is must-be-seen to be believed.

If you have a child 6-12 perhaps, with a weird sense of style and fun, this might be something good to put on after they've watched all of Pee-Wee's Playhouse at least 10 times each.

If a gorgeous, very blown dry, 24 y.o. Craig Sheffer is your flavor, maybe go for it, but he is on display in most of his early movies, none of which dip near the level of this.

Otherwise, avoid. It is not even worth it much for a laugh. It is a VERY BAD 80s music video stretched out to 90 rather hard to take minutes.

How they got Pia, Ruth, Craig, and a Jackson in this thing is the only aspect of it worth contemplating.

A VERY GOOD version of a camp send up of teen flicks is Rock and Roll High School.

Pia Rocks!

[godwinj · 7/10 · 16 July 2004]

Even though the special effects rarely rise above amateurish, even though the acting, at places, can best be described as 'cardboard', and even though the final production lacks the polish of a comparable film, say 'Grease', this film is definitely worth the time.

This film has several things going for it, definitely. First of all, there are some pretty decent actors in the film and some talented singers as well.

There are few who are both decent actors and talented singers, but this in itself doesn't ruin the movie.

Musically, watch for the sequence 'nature of the beast'. It is a bit overplayed, and stylistically overdone, yet still quite entertaining.

Much of the comedy in the movie falls rather flat, but there a few shining moments mixed in. At the point the female victim helps the homicidal maniac repair his chainsaw is really where the movie begins to hit its stride and the various elements come together.

Throughout the film, Pia Zadora is a joy to watch. She really doesn't deserve the bad press she's gotten. In this film, she comes across as a wonderful singer, as well as a passable actress who seems completely to buy into her character. This is definitely not a trivial task, as the plot as a whole is rather hokey and the monster in the film looks really cheap and rubbery. I personally cannot imagine myself having to pretend to be frightened of it, but the cast really does a pretty good job with it and overall.

In short: Watch it, enjoy it. Don't expect 'Grease' going in, and you won't be disappointed coming out. And BTW, look for Pia's duet with Jermaine Jackson on 'When the rain begins to fall' at the beginning of the movie. I don't think it has anything to do with the rest of the movie, but it is a cute little rock video.

Sometimes great, often wtf?

[jellopuke · 5/10 · 21 February 2022]

This flirts with being a true classic hidden gem of cheese but there are just a few too many seems showing to rise above the badness. The sets are terrible despite the great costumes and occasionally awesome music. It's disjointed and with some bad dancing, but the weirdness is enough to make it worth seeing.

Seriously though...

[adidaz-1 · 10/10 · 29 May 2006]

This is perhaps the best amalgamation of everything excellent about the eighties. Pure and total destructive insanity. To watch this movie is akin to reliving the eighties only through MTV news updates. There are so many things "right" about this movie. As in, the right stuff. Baby.

Rock 'n' Roll is misleading, but it's more like New Wave vs. Rockabilly. And how does that not equal brilliance? Name another film that that happens in please because I would love to watch it.

If you do not like this movie you obviously hate the eighties and everything associated with it. And therefore, if you are over 16 years of age you hate yourself. And I am saddened by your condition. Just know that I care about you.

Voyage of the Rock and Roll Aliens changed my life. And not just in regards to my fantasy wife becoming Pia Zadora. In many other equally profound ways.

If you have the chance, snatch this movie up and give it a viewing.

More fun than I ever imagined.

[BA_Harrison · 7/10 · 3 January 2021]

A low-budget mid'-80s musical starring pint-sized sex kitten Pia Zadora: how could this be anything but a disaster? The funny thing is, I just watched the film and enjoyed it much more than I expected, yet I'm still asking how it could be anything but a disaster. I mean, the plot is atrocious, the dialogue diabolical, and the special effects like something I might achieve with my minimal knowledge of motion graphics software. By all rights, it should be unbearable, but I found myself charmed by its goofiness, and actually thought the musical numbers were pretty good. Zadora is no Olivia Newton-John, but she acquits herself well enough in the singing and dancing departments, if not the acting.

The film opens on a spacecraft manned by musical aliens who are travelling across the universe on a scientific mission, searching for rock music. After passing on several planets (including one where Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora flirt with each other, much to the annoyance of a gang of bikers in nasty white outfits), they decide to pay a visit to Earth, where they encounter trouble with a pack of rock and roll thugs led by Frankie (Craig Sheffer), who isn't happy when his girlfriend Dee Dee (also Zadora) shows an interest in the aliens' commander, ABCD (Tom Nolan).

Sounds straight-forward enough, but the whole thing is imbued with a surreal strangeness, from a robot that transforms into a mobile fire hydrant, to a teleportation phone booth, to a toxic lake that is home to a giant tentacle. Then there's the small matter of the escaped homicidal maniacs, one of which is played by Michael Berryman, who falls for Dee Dee's best friend Diane (Alison La Placa) when she helps to mend his chainsaw. Part cheesy '80s sci-fi, part '50s beach party movie, and part new-wave post-punk musical, but ALL bizarre, this is a perfect 'midnight movie' viewing for those who enjoy offbeat trash from the decade that taste forgot.

7/10 (with the potential for a higher rating on repeat viewings).

Pure '80s

[Leofwine_draca · 5/10 · 26 November 2020]

VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS is a goofy, dated B-movie sci-fi musical of the kind that could only come from the 1980s. In style and tone it feels very GREASE, like they were hoping for that kind of success from that kind of format, although the music is pure '80s rock and the trappings feel '60s-ish at times. The hairstyles and costumes are out of this world and that's even before the aliens show up. Pia Zadora is someone I'm unfamiliar with but the camera loves her here and the whole film is full of vibrancy and finger-snapping tunes. You're going to love or hate this one.

The 80's are still alive

[info-526 · 8/10 · 29 January 2003]

After a few years I took the videocassette "Voyage of the Rock Aliens" out of the shelf. Blow the dust away and start watching the movie! I feel like removed back to 1984. Pia Zadora! Great music. O.k. the movie is awful, but the music is great. You must see the film as a lot of music-clips put together in one movie. Then it works. If you like the music of the 80's and enjoy songs like "When the rain begins to fall", "Little bit of heaven" or "Let's dance tonight" it's your movie!

Breasts in a PG Movie

[zapi_0 · 7/10 · 7 February 2011]

Aliens come in a space ship shaped like a V shaped guitar, in search of goof rock. That rock is actually gay Pia Zadora 80s pop, but hey. The come in a high school in a little city named Speelburgh, and there the main alien is in love with the main pussy (Pia Zadora). However, he has the coolest rockabilly boyfriend (Craig Sheffer, also a gang leader in The Road Killers) which is the best high school gang leader I ever saw on film. Aliens are looking for trouble, and he's gonna kick their ass. Perfect musical almost plot less. High school gangs, choreography with lowered panties, tits in a PG movie, robot alien who turns into a fire hydrant, aliens who don't fit in, rockabilly vs. gay rock battle of the bands Run DMC vs. Aerosmith style, Craig Sheffer too cool too be true, monster from the local radioactive lake, Michael Berryman (Pluto from The Hills Have Eyes) as a lunatic escaped from the local asylum rampaging around school with a chainsaw, but he's actually nice and hooks up with the school's sexy female greasemonkey, silly and lovable songs and choreography, perfect clothes, especially female, crew members being turned into people from toys via a machine, everything and all. Great movie.

Land fill fodder the musical.

[PIST-OFF · 1/10 · 29 December 2020]

So rip off Devo is traveling through space and sees a rock video for rip off Beat It then decides to land on earth where they meet Pia Zadora and rip off of Grease rip off band. This "movie" is truly terrible and is a perfect example of how and why musicals are generally bad. The "plot" if it can be called that is a big nothing that strings together some truly awful musical numbers. perhaps a weird kid with a weird sense of style might enjoy it were they to see it young enough not to care about anything else in the movie. Richly deserves it's place in obscurity. watch only if you feel like punishing yourself.

Odd, very odd ... a classical B-Movie. But I like the song!

[siriusianer · 26 October 2001]

Voyage of the Rock Aliens is perhaps the goofiest of Pia's movie ventures. It features the arrival of some extraterrestrials who look an awful lot like a 1980's pop music group. Pia is the rockin' teenaged diva who becomes the center of conflict between the aliens and the town's local band of rock and roll rebels.

Tacked on to the beginning of the movie in a rather strange framing sequence is the video for the song "When the Rain Begins to Fall," a duet between Pia and Jermaine Jackson. Jackson doesn't appear in any of the rest of the movie.

Taking the Pia-ss

[southdavid · 2/10 · 27 January 2022]

In preparation for another episode of the "How did this get made" podcast, I watched "Voyage of the Rock Aliens", which fortunately was free on Youtube and answers the question, what would it be like of Troma produced a musical, hired two garbage bands and made up a flimsy plot as they went along?

Eager to learn more about rock music, a group of aliens come to Earth. Their exploration leads to the town Speelburgh and the diner, in which their leader Abcd (Tom Nolan) falls for local girl Dee Dee (Pia Zadora). Unfortunately, Dee Dee is currently the girlfriend of local hardman Frankie (Craig Sheffer). As the aliens form a band to go against Frankie's musical act at the high school battle of the bands, two killers escape from the local lunatic asylum and begin a killing spree. And there's some business about a giant monster in the lake - but who honestly cares.

The movie starts with a music video starring the leads, and Jermaine Jackson. It's not good and sets a tone for the musical performances that make up the majority of the film, in the sense that they are bland and forgettable. To be fair, I thought after around twenty minutes of the actual film that it might prove alright. There are some sight gags and some other comedic bits that were OK - but it didn't last and the second half of the movie, where it becomes clear that there's not really a plot, really dragged on.

Slamming on Pia Zadora isn't really fair, as she's quite pretty here and, along with Craig Sheffer (then more cheekbone than man) is one of the better performers in the film. Admittedly, this may be because the rest of the cast is filled out with musicians from two actual bands, with no acting experience and it shows. Michael Berryman, from "The Hills Have Eyes" is in the film too, for some reason there's two escaped psychopaths though when really his was the only one necessary to what little plot resolution there is.

I guess I'm not really into ironic appreciation and I never saw this movie in the 80's when at the very least it wouldn't have felt quite so dated. Something like John Waters "Cry Baby" covers some similar ground to this but is a much better film and I appreciated that coming to it for the first time in the last couple of years. This though, despite a few initial flourishes, ends up mostly boring.

Pretty sure these aliens can cross Earth off their list

[selfdestructo · 3/10 · 7 April 2023]

The basic premise of Voyage of the Rock Aliens, when they get around to it, is about this group of aliens who are searching the galaxy for the true source of Rock & Roll. The ironic thing about this movie, is that there isn't one shred of Rock & Roll to be found in its 96-minute runtime.

This is definitely a movie without a cohesive direction. Don't get me wrong, it's very, very 80's, with some choice 80's fashions, but, uh... It's like a 96-minute music video, with an extremely thin plot (and even thinner, more pointless subplots).

So, the "setup" involves an introduction to the spaceship, then... Jermaine Jackson shows up (never to be heard from again) for a lame musical number with Pia Zadora... which has nothing to do with anything. I'm like WTF is happening? Are they trying to tell me something? As it turns out, no.

The group of aliens are introduced, and they're a very pale, 5th generation copy of Devo. They're interactions with humans, are supposed to be played for comedy. Frankly, I found it embarrassing. DeeDee (Pia Zadora) parades around in leather pants and (only found in the) 80's garb, is dolled-up to the hilt, and some of the dance choreography they have her do in her crappy lovey-dovey songs and music videos, is quite amusing. This aspect of the movie I found most enjoyable, in a I-just-can't-look-away, way.

Her boyfriend Frankie (Craig Sheffer) is introduced as a beefcake 50's greaser, in, assuming, a retro-Rockabilly band (movie was made at the height of this wave, where the Stray Cats were huge). And again, a very pale, 5th generation copy, but frankly, for the bulk of the movie, I thought they were a bad impression of George Thorogood & the Destroyers.

You got 3 clashes in musical styles (4 if you count Jermaine's cameo), none of them Rock & Roll. I won't even qualify the greaser's attempts. Music is subjective, so I'm sure there are people who would enjoy this soundtrack, but I personally found it quite bad (and I love 80's music, I grew up with it). It's just that this movie is such a scattershot effort.

80's music videos, sci-fi alien New Wave, 50's greaser gang in the 80's, playing a retro music style, 60's beach party singing and dancing, 50's malt shop hangout sequences. They signed on two more stars, and obviously had to scramble to write thoroughly pointless subplots for them. Ruth Gordon is the sheriff searching for the aliens, seemingly shot in an entirely different movie and time, with a most confounding conclusion (again, I'm sure these parts were written in 10 minutes). So you've also got law enforcement. Michael Berryman also appears to, uh, add a slasher element! Man, I felt bad for him having to appear in this atrocity. He is an escaped mental patient, with a very large chainsaw. It falls apart on him, and DeeDee's foxy friend, Diane (Alison La Placa) fixes it. Yeah, the killer/victim bonded, and worked it all out!

SPOILER Amongst countless music videos and a battle of the bands, story goes like this: DeeDee loves Frankie, Frankie c-blocks DeeDee's music career, DeeDee falls for lead alien dork, joins their band, finds out he's an alien, runs back to Frankie. Yeah, that's it.

Voyage of the Rock Aliens certainly has elements of a movie I'd love, but it was really just too painful and embarrassing for me to get into. Exactly zero genuine laughs, only some unintentional ones. Oh, I'm positive there's an audience for this movie. It is a cinematic trainwreck.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the homoerotic element in this film, the fact that this director is totally enamored with pretty boy Craig Sheffer. This movie is chock-full of glamour shots of Craig, in various stages of dress and undress. The Vinegar Syndrome slipcover is either a very telling joke, or if that is original artwork from the movie, is very telling in all seriousness. The cover is a photo of Pia and Craig, being held by a robotic hand, which unmistakably looks like four phalluses stacked on top of each other. Have a look! In the photo, Craig is at his prettiest, square jawed, spiked blonde hair, and shirtless in a black leather jacket, showing off his 6-pack. Oh, not that there's anything wrong with that! I'll let you ponder.

Extras: The sole actor (besides the alien band) they could rope in to be interviewed was... Michael Berryman! And he was all-in on this movie (though he did mention he had bills to pay). Said he had never done a comedy to that point (or a musical), enjoyed the experience, and that he's really into chainsaws!

The producers are ALWAYS a trip in these extras. This one features a married couple of attorneys(!), turned movie producers. They talk turkey (that would be business) and money and finances. Almost always in sharp contrast to the creative people on the project (though, admittedly, I've seen a few real insightful producer interviews).

Rock aliens

[nicko252008 · 7/10 · 1 June 2023]

The story of a guy a girl and an alien and the one night they will always remember. That is the tagline to this insanely fun film. The spaceship is built like a guitar, like a Flying V guitar. It's really freaking cool, and I have to say some of the songs aren't half bad. I'm a huge fan of Streets of Fire now this isn't on that caliber, but it's pretty darn close. Yes, there's a lot of '80s, fifties kind of rockabilly a good mix of everything but I really enjoyed this movie. Every time I do watch it I have a good time with it. Pia Zadora is beautiful. See this movie if you are into rock opera, rockabilly, or 80s new wave type stuff, you will not regret it.

Great fun.

[gridoon · 8/10 · 27 August 2003]

Plotless, goofy, lighthearted, audacious, uplifting, spirited - in short, the most fun movie I've watched in months! I don't even like musicals, but this one had me constantly tapping my feet on the floor. Pia Zadora's acting won't win any awards, but she's appropriately bright and perky here, plus a terrific singer. In its own terms, this film is damn close to perfect. If you have any nostalgic feelings about 80s music, this is a gift sent from heaven. (***1/2)

A hard one to rate

[terrywatt375 · 7/10 · 12 November 2023]

I was in my teens in the 1980's and love dumb b-movies.

Seemingly, Voyage Of The Rock Aliens should be right in my wheelhouse - in some ways it was - but it was a tough one to get through and even tougher to rank.

Had never even heard of this flick until the 2000's, which indicates how under-the-radar this thing was back in 1984. Came and went virtually without a trace and took a couple of decades before a very small but vocal cult of viewers began to post online about this slab of cheese that had then been seemingly lost to the ages.

Now, I certainly HAD heard of Pia Zadora. She had made a splash in 1982 largely for appearing nude in the movie Butterfly, portraying a Lolita-type nymphette. Butterfly had the imprimatur of being a 'stylish' erotic movie, and with Zadora as the sex object she had to do little more than disrobe. Fortunately, in 1977 Zadora had married an Israeli multimillionaire thirty years her senior. Fortunate in that apparently her sugar daddy husband had pockets deep enough to keep ponying up money to self-finance the early 1980s glut of various Zadora projects. After Butterfly caused a modest stir, Zadora was determined to prove to the world that she was the premiere trifecta in terms of talent, being able to actually act, sing and dance. The truth was that Zadora was a terrible actress and her abilities in both the singing and dancing fields were modest at best. However, there were no shortage of various production companies in the early 1980s willing to take her husband's money and give it a go at making her a star. Zadora followed up Butterfly with an attempt at the gritty 1983 drama The Lonely Lady, which was a laughable neutron bomb in every sense of the word. Within two years of bursting on the scene, Zadora was an industry joke (and not an industry insider joke, either, but a very publicly mocked case of a self-financed, talentless hack), which leads us to Voyage Of The Rock Aliens.

Yet another Zadora-centric flick (financed this time only in part by her husband), this movie is just...all over the place. Supposedly conceived as a spoof of such disparate genres as 1960's Beach Party movies, 1950's Sock Hop Rock and Roll films, early 1980's slasher flicks and low-budget Sci Fi pictures, Voyage Of The Rock Aliens is a mess. Doubtless, the director having dropped out of the thing while it was in production didn't help. However, it is all a case of too much. Too many genres slammed together. Too many jokes which are wincingly unfunny. Too many largely unknown cast members. Too many subplots. Too many songs, none of which are either particularly good or particularly memorable. I read a great review here where the reviewer pointed out that this movie was worse than either Xanadu or Grease 2, and I'd have to agree: at least with Xanadu one had Olivia Newton-John, Gene Kelly, some competency in terms of the dance choreography and a couple good tunes and at least with Grease 2 one had some memorably bad musical numbers and the charm of a young Michelle Pfeiffer. Voyage Of The Rock Aliens had seemingly upwards of 20 different musical numbers (none of which I could recall even ten seconds after hearing them), scene after scene of cast members who were not only unable to dance well but couldn't even dance poorly in synch with one another and for star power outside of Zadora we had the old lady who played Clint Eastwood's crusty old mother in those Every Which Way But Loose/Any Which Way You Can movies, minus the participatory charm of Clyde the Orangutan. Although we DID get to see the debut role of Craig Sheffer, who spends an ample amount of time showing off his chiseled physique and sucked-in cheekbones in an endless series of pouting male bimbo poses, so there's that, I suppose.

All of which just SCREAMS mid-Eighties in ALL the worst ways, with annoying neon-bright colors in both the wardrobe and the lighting, held together by appearances with enough aerosol hairspray to have doubtless caused significant degrees of Ozone layer erosion. Apparently, Zadora's husband was becoming less willing at this point to fully self-finance his wife's career, since the movie also looks cheaply made a la Roger Corman (sadly, minus the low-grade charm of a Corman movie). More than a few of the actors appear to have been...er, 'chemically enhanced' re: the manic nature of their performances (as early 80's icon Rick James once said: "Cocaine is a hell of a drug!").

The thing of it all is, I didn't elicit the sense that the cast were phoning it in via their performances being wryly yet firmly tongue in cheek, or where any of them were particularly self-aware of how awful the film was on either a comedic or musical level. Everybody really seemed to be sincerely trying, which is always a shared quality all the best 'so bad they're good' b-movies have. I couldn't go higher than 7 stars in spite of all this because even with my expectations accordingly lowered, Voyage Of The Rock Aliens was an endurance test to get through. I'd say the high points for me were the opening number with Zadora and Jermaine Jackson duetting (Jermaine wisely vanishes for the remainder of the movie), a number Zadora sings which takes place in a public toilet and a number featuring Sheffer posing in the desert with...a bobcat(?): admittedly, those three segments were jaw-droppingly bad to the point where I couldn't even laugh so much as stare at the screen in dumbfounded awe. Outside of those three segments, though, the rest of it was a mishmash of unfunny jokes, mundane tunes and headache-inducing visuals. Pia didn't even do us the service of disrobing for this particular turkey.

I would say bad movie enthusiasts may well owe it to themselves to see this once. Although it is said that all things are subjected to the tastes of the individual consumer and it therefore wouldn't be for me to say Voyage Of The Rock Aliens shouldn't be someone's fave cult movie to be viewed over and over again, once was more than enough for me.

The 80s LIVE in this movie

[Animus · 8/10 · 9 June 2019]

I stumbled on this movie by accident, when I turned it on, my wife gave me 'the look' and asked "Why???" She changed her tune pretty quick and now it's something we tell our friends about. If the 80s were your decade then you MUST see this movie... Although don't expect Jermaine Jackson to actually be in it. He's in the opening sequence but that's all, and that's okay because the real stars are Pia and the aliens...

This Really Does Rock

[RossDuncan · 10/10 · 15 June 2001]

My god, i couldn`t believe this movie was even made. It is fantastic. Maybe not a good choice to watch when sober but when your smashed.... Trust me if you can get a copy of this get it. Craig Sheiffers preformance in the film is fantastic. After seeing him years ago in Nightbreed i had no realisation that this megastar could sing too. Highly recommended. What a Movie.

Look out for the music video starring Jermaine Jackson at the begining of the film that has absolutley no refrence to the movie whatsoever. IT ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy 80s Gem - Totally Bonkers!

[katiemadonna-1 · 10/10 · 28 February 2021]

People take drugs to experience what this movie is. I love it!

An 80s Work of Art

[EverydayIDecay · 10/10 · 24 November 2020]

100 times better than Grease. You will never see this type of creativity and attention to detail again.

Pia in a Campy Cult Musical!

[ggdva · 8/10 · 9 June 2002]

This movie is an obscurity but I was lucky enough to find it at my local independent video store and I am a big fan of Pia Zadora so I rented it. It is actually a musical, though very campy and goofy and by no means polished or well-done. However, the atrocity of the film-making is what makes it so much fun to watch. Pia Zadora does her best as Dee Dee, the love interest who wants to be a rock star and she has many hilarious musical sequences, perhaps the best being "Real Love" and the hit duet "When the Rain Begins to Fall" with Jermaine Jackson. If you like a good flop and some strange 80's new wave music, then rent this and you will be laughing and scratching your head for days.