Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

Charles Rocket: Ted

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Ted sees a bowling ball embedded in his computer monitor] 

  Ted : What? Oh, wait a second. They said the Commodore would stand up to anything!

• Ted : [On the phone]  Dr. Tuchman, please.

  [waits] 

  Ted : Barbara? Ted here. Listen, uh, I need a really big favor. I want you to cover my shift at the hospital tomorrow. I'm going to Vegas!

  [laughs] 

  Ted : Well, I'm gonna lose a little money, take in a show, and get married.

  [waits] 

  Ted : Barbara, Barbara, look, jus, just because I'm getting married doesn't mean we can't date, alright! What?

  [looks at the phone] 

• Ted : I don't know, I'm just not that turned on by her lately.

  Body Factory Attendant : I hear oysters are good for potency.

  Dr. Rick : Yeah, I tried that once, but they kept slipping off.

  Ted : If I was any more potent, I'd kill somebody.

• Valerie : You brought a girl home to have sex?

  Ted : Well, you weren't supposed to be here, Val.

  Valerie : You were going to have sex without me?

• Ted : These degenerates broke into my home and destroyed my property. I want them arrested right now. They're MTV scum!

• Ted : You got to bring that one-piece night thing. That, uh, corset - that looks like underwear.

• Ted : Tomorrow night. I promise.

  Valerie : I won't be here. I'll be at the nail expo. The cuticle convention, remember?

• Ted : He was eating my Blue-Gilled Dorky!

• Ted : Sweetheart, I booked the Cave Man Suite at Cupid's Lodge!