- Tommy Nowak: I have strong feelings about gun control. If there is a gun around, I want to be controlling it.
- Tommy Nowak: You just have to play that little-girl-lost routine, don't you.
- Lou Ann McGuinn: I'm still feminine. I'm a Cosmo fighter.
- Tommy Nowak: Obviously a hardened criminal. I can tell by your kewpie-doll lips.
- [Lou Ann borrows a tight-fitting dress]
- Tommy Nowak: Sweetheart, if there's any justice on this planet, they'll never make you give back that red dress.
- Lou Ann McGuinn: Believe it or not: Roy was just about the coolest boy in San Bernadino. About 40,000 Heineken ago
- Lou Ann McGuinn: Through taking shit from men!
- Tommy Nowak: That's one thing we have in common, 'cos I'm through taking shit from men too.
- Dinah: Isn't it a little dangerous to put cocaine on that knife?
- Gangster: Cocaine is for queers and credit cards. This here is amphetamine. Only way to snort it is off a hunting knife. Want Some?
- Tommy Nowak: Helping you with your legal case is absolutely not my business, my job just to follow you, find you... and Federal Express you home
- Lou Ann McGuinn: The three f's uh?
- Lou Ann McGuinn: Would you care for something from our complimentary minibar?
- Tommy Nowak: Yeah. I forgot how it is with these joints: They get you half in the bag and you forget how they play these games. Well... Maybe one Cuervo. Just a short one.
- Tommy Nowak: Now, if these people are going to stand here, pointing guns like this... I'm gonna ask you, are you an organ doner Alex?
- Alex: Nobody shoots!