Thieves of Fortune (1990) Poster

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5/10
Bizarre gender bender with Lee Van Cleef .......
merklekranz2 June 2016
Most definitely "Thieves of Fortune" is not a good movie. It is more a curiosity than anything else, including the odd mix of a woman masquerading as a man with fake looking beard and mustache, but speaking in her natural feminine voice. I mean a Chimpanzee could figure out that he was a woman in the first 30 seconds, yet everyone in "Thieves" is totally clueless. Lee Van Cleef only appears in the beginning 10 minutes or so, suffering a heart attack to get him out of the picture, collect a check,and be featured on the cover art. Ironically, not long after this was filmed, a real heart attack took his life. Best quote comes from the man/woman when asked about her name "Peter". "What kind of name for a girl is Peter? What kind of name is Peter for a penis?" Forget the plot, because it makes little sense and is further troubled by atrocious editing. I found the ultra strange psychedelic ending, complete with ample nudity, totally acceptable for a movie this weird. - MERK
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For LVC fans mostly...
apmcquiddy2 August 2003
Even tho Lee Van Cleef's part is Very Minor, and in one of those odd coincidences, it is very appropos as his Last Film, there are aspects of this movie that are worth viewing.

Hey, this isn't Cassablanca or anything, but it's fun in its way, and the further you get and pay attention the stranger it gets!

It tries valiantly to be the poor cousin of JEWEL OF THE NILE (itself a rip-off of other films, of course), but fails dramatically. Still, enough of the actors are competent and fun to watch, that it's not a total wash...it just doesn't hang together enough to make it Great, eh?

Watch this one with a Sense Of Humour and maybe a coupla beers, and you'll enjoy it just fine!
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6/10
Surprisingly fun
supercygnus30 August 2014
It shouldn't have worked. A very Ameirican actor playing a robust Spaniard. A low budget. Small amount of screen time for a legendary actor prominently displayed as one of the stars. Russel Savadier, an actor notorious for mugging and over acting in low budget b flicks. The combo seemed destined to failure. But it works! There are issues with broad stereotypes and budget restrictions, but the film ends up being very entertaining. Even Savadier is pretty amusing. Shawn Weathely is very likable and obviously very pretty. Nouri pulls off the super macho Spaniard (for the most part) and makes up for any slips into cartoonish caricature with good comedic timing and a lot of charisma. Craig Gardener could have been completely unlikable in his role, but manages some smarmy charm and decent comedic timing. He's not perfect but services the part way better than you'd expect. There's humor, adventure, action and a good amount of nudity that manages to be a combination of titillating and funny while also servicing the plot (and yes, a bit exploitive still). It plays a lot like a mix of Romancing the Stone and Victor/Victoria but with a solid R rating. Good natured and fun.
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