Camp Nowhere (1994)

Jonathan Jackson: Morris 'Mud' Himmel

Photos 

Quotes 

• "Mud" : Dad! Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I can't act stupid.

  Zach : If Mud's guilty I am too.

  Gaby : Me too! I'm smart enough to act stupid.

  Trish : Yeah and I'm stupid too! Well... you know what I mean.

• T.R. Polk : [after getting the money for Dennis' car]  You're a little short.

  "Mud" : Well... you're a little fat.

• "Mud" : Who's this?

  Dennis Van Welker : Winston Churchill. Jimi Hendrix of the spoken word.

  "Mud" : Who's Jimi Hendrix?

  Dennis Van Welker : Michael Jordan of the electric guitar.

• "Mud" : You sure you don't want to come in? We're all gonna watch Beavis and Butthead.

  Dennis Van Welker : You know, back in the '60s when we said we wanted to change society, maybe we should've been more specific.

• Dennis Van Welker : Don't forget your pills. 4 every hour.

  "Mud" : Uh Dennis? that's 1 every 4 hours.

  Dennis Van Welker : No way, let me see that.

  [reads bottle] 

  Dennis Van Welker : Oh... not the first time THAT mistake's gotten me in trouble.

• Gaby : Guys can be geeks, but it's different for girls. I'm gonna wind up wearing a hairnet and serving Jell-o in the cafeteria!

  "Mud" : That won't happen, because a lot of girls start out... lumpy. But you'll lose a few pounds, and then you'll start to grow... chests, and then you'll be going out with guys who hang me up by my underwear.

  Gaby : [dryly]  Oh yeah, I can hardly wait.

• Dennis Van Welker : Do you know what the first rule of the theater is, Mud?

  "Mud" : No...

  Dennis Van Welker : [shouts]  Talk loud enough for people to hear you!

  "Mud" : OK... so...

  "Mud" : [shouts]  Are you gonna help me?

  Dennis Van Welker : Much better... No.

• "Mud" : How could you invite her over?! She's going to find out!

  Dennis Van Welker : Mud, in a couple of years, two things will happen. One, you'll grow a ridiculous mustache that looks fruit mold on your upper lip. Two, you'll suddenly understand why men invite charming, attractive women to dinner.

• Dennis Van Welker : [quietly]  Do you know what the first law of the theater is, Mud?

  Morris 'Mud' Himmel : What?

  Dennis Van Welker : TALK LOUD ENOUGH FOR PEOPLE TO HEAR YOU!

  Morris 'Mud' Himmel : Oh, okay, so uh... ARE YA GONNA HELP ME?

  Dennis Van Welker : Much better... no!

• Zach : We're not 'delinquent friends'.

  Trish : Oh really? Then how come you go to military camps every summer, because you like the haircuts?

  Zach : You know my Dad. 'Military camp builds character'

  Gaby : [about Camp Slenderella]  'It's for your own good, Gabs'.

  Trish : [about Broadway Camp]  'But Trish, all the OTHER kids are going!'

  "Mud" : Hey, how about this one? 'It'll be fun'.

• "Mud" : [complaining about his parents]  They talk about me like... I'm unemployed or something.

• "Mud" : [the other kids are throwing stuff at each other]  YOU'RE GONNA PUT SOMEBODY'S EYE OUT WITH THAT!

  [pause] 

  "Mud" : I'm turning into my parents!

  [walks off, everybody gets out of his way] 

• "Mud" : I'm in hell. Shoot me.

• Trish : He tried doing Silence of the Lambs as a musical. He got fired and he left town.

  "Mud" : Yeah well he got fired, but I don't think he left town.

  [shows Dennis' picture in the yearbook] 

  Trish : The cheese man at the mall?

• "Mud" : Gaby, when does your mom leave for the islands?

  Gaby : Just as soon as she puts me on the bus to Camp Slenderella.

  Trish : Again?

  Gaby : Celery sticks and rice cakes... prison food!

  Trish : I'll mail you a Twinkie.

• "Mud" : What's up?

  Gaby : [making breakfast]  Omelets.

  "Mud" : What's wrong with Slim Jims and Pop-Tarts?

  Gaby : I don't know... I guess I just got tired of the stuff.

• "Mud" : My parents won't be happy until I'm the poster child for the 'Adopt a Dork Foundation'.

• Donald Himmel : [reading Mud's letter home]  It's the 4th of July, but don't worry, Mom, we won't be playing with Roman candles or anything like that.

  "Mud" : We'll probably just sing some patriotic songs and watch a film strip about the Declaration of Independence.

  [shows the kids running around camp with smoke flares and Roman candles in hand]