Trapped in Paradise (1994)

Jon Lovitz: Dave Firpo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bill Firpo : Which direction are we going?

  Alvin Firpo : North.

  Bill Firpo : Are you sure? I thought we passed that farmhouse earlier.

  Dave Firpo : No, those farmhouses all look alike...

  Bill Firpo : Alvin, if we're going in circles, I'm going to break your neck.

  Alvin Firpo : We're not. I took four lefts, just like the map said.

  Bill Firpo : FOUR LEFTS IS A CIRCLE, YOU IDIOT.

• Bill Firpo : I've got a feeling you're not telling me something.

  Dave Firpo : Well this feeling you're getting is paranoia.

  Alvin Firpo : Hey, let's just go.

• Hattie Anderson : Do you really want to do this?

  Bill Firpo : Do what?

  Hattie Anderson : You know rob the bank

  Dave Firpo : Absolutely! We have thought this over and we've made a decision!

  Hattie Anderson : But on Christmas Eve, it just doesn't seem right. You're going to ruin the winter fest.

  Bill Firpo : The winter fest? I've got a gun and your talking about the winter fest. Well who are you?

• Alvin Firpo : Have you seen my Pez dispenser?

  Dave Firpo : No. Shut up!

• Bill Firpo : Where are you going?

  Dave Firpo : I'm going with you to get the key.

  Bill Firpo : No, you STAY HERE!

  Dave Firpo : Don't you two fall in love.

  [to the hostages] 

  Dave Firpo : You heard him! I'm staying here!

• Vic Mazzucci : I won't throw her

  [Dave's ma] 

  Vic Mazzucci : out the window as long as you do the right thing.

  Dave Firpo : All right, all right love ya too.

  Vic Mazzucci : [hangs up phone] 

  [replies to ceasers question] 

  Vic Mazzucci : He said he loves me...

• Bill Firpo : I'm tellin' ya, if I had a gun on me right now I'd go in there and take over that place.

  Dave Firpo : Bill, you wouldn't be angry if I were to tell you there might be guns in the trunk.

  Bill Firpo : Alvin pull the car over.

  Alvin Firpo : Wha?

  Bill Firpo : Pull it over!

• Dave Firpo : Sons of bitches.

• Bill Firpo : Our car ran off the road.

  Dick Anderson : Oh my god. Are you all right?

  Dave Firpo : Well were not dead if that's what you mean.

• Alvin Firpo : [after crashing car]  Didn't have any snow chains.

  Dave Firpo : You have no brain, either.

• Dave Firpo : [while teaching yoga to hostages]  This is your basic yoga, I learned it in prison. It's good for stressful situations like this bank robbery, or if you're ever in prison and you're surrounded by ten men, helps relax you.

• Alvin Firpo : [panicking]  I can't go back to prison. I learned my lesson already.

  Ma Firpo : [to Vic]  Look what you started, you big gorilla.

  Vic Mazzucci : Look what I started? I don't know what you're talking about.

  Caesar Spinoza : Your idiot sons. If it wasn't for them, we'd be in prison without a care in the world.

  Ma Firpo : If it wasn't for your goddamn, long-winged, piece-of-shit, letter whining about how your daughter doesn't come to visit you no more, I never would've sent my boys down here in the first place.

  Vic Mazzucci : I never wrote any letter.

  [Bill stops pacing as he and Ma realize something and turn their attention toward Dave] 

  Dave Firpo : [chuckles nervously]  Ma. Who wrote what to whom? It's a moot point at this juncture. Don't you think? Especially given the gravity of the situation... outside.

  Bill Firpo : [disgusted]  It just never ends with you.