Caroline in the City (1995–1999)

Andy Lauer: Charlie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Del : I guess you're right, Charlie. Phil was embezzling.

  Charlie : Told you. But what does it matter? It's a big company.

  Del : It's MY company!

  Charlie : Oh yeah, good point. But that makes you "the man". And we wanna bring down "the man".

• Del : No way, Phil could never afford to buy her those things on what I paid him.

  Charlie : Probably bought it with the money he was embezzling.

  Del : What?!

  Charlie : He was embezzling, skimming off the top, robbing you blind, spanking the monkey. Oh wait, that's something else.

• Caroline : What's happening, Charlie?

  Charlie : Well I heard on the news that they found these crows in New Mexico that use tools. They're closing in on us, man. I don't even own tools.

• Charlie : So I said, 'Mom and Dad, stop fighting! I'll be a doctor and a lawyer!'

• Charlie : What flavor do you think I am? Don't cheat.

  Richard : Lobotomy chunk?

• Charlie : Hey! Cut it out!

  Del : Charlie, that's the stick shift!

  Charlie : Either way, I'm flattered.

• Charlie : Now, don't ask me why, but I happen to be wearing edible underwear.

• Charlie : Sorry, sorry, I thought I saw God for a second, but it was just the light from the bathroom.

• Charlie : You're from Italy, Remo . . . didn't you have a society in your midst who lived by its own laws, who answered to nobody?

  Remo : Yes. The Catholic Church.

• Charlie : You are an idiot! And I don't get to say that very often.