Caroline in the City (1995–1999)

Eric Lutes: Del Cassidy, Jingle

Photos 

Quotes 

• Richard : I'm stuck!

  Del : What do you mean?

  Richard : I'm stuck. Are you having trouble with "I'm" or "stuck"?

• Del : I guess you're right, Charlie. Phil was embezzling.

  Charlie : Told you. But what does it matter? It's a big company.

  Del : It's MY company!

  Charlie : Oh yeah, good point. But that makes you "the man". And we wanna bring down "the man".

• Del : What do you mean? You're going to give up $200 just because you're a little embarrassed? I'd walk down the street naked for $200...

  Caroline : You'd do that for 15, we already determined that last Halloween.

• Del : So how do you think I came off?

  Woman : A little needy.

• Del : No way, Phil could never afford to buy her those things on what I paid him.

  Charlie : Probably bought it with the money he was embezzling.

  Del : What?!

  Charlie : He was embezzling, skimming off the top, robbing you blind, spanking the monkey. Oh wait, that's something else.

• Del : [entering]  Oh, hey, Richard. Sweetie?

  Richard : Sweetie isn't here.

  Del : Where is she?

  Richard : Ah, reading to the blind, gynecologist. Who listens?

• Del : Teach me some basic Jewish small talk! Who's the guy on roof?

  Richard : Me, in about 10 minutes if you don't leave me alone!

• Del : You know, Caroline was right about you. You do suck the joy out of everything.

  Richard : Tell your friends.

• Aunt : This one's full of piss and vinegar.

  Del : Maybe not vinegar.

• Del : Not getting a pedicure.

  Joseph : Oh, go ahead. Treat yourself.

• Caroline : Oh, that is so sweet!

  Del : Really? 'Cause when I was saying it, I was thinking, 'Boy, is this sounding stupid.'

• Richard : I've never flown first class before.

  Caroline : The stewardesses have sex with you.

  Richard : Yeah, right.

  Del : Sometimes they really do.

• Del : It doesn't have to be the worst time in your life.

  Caroline : Isn't that the slogan for Euro-Disney?

• Caroline : Now, promise me you won't tell them.

  Annie : What kind of person do you think I am?

  Caroline : I repeat: promise me you won't tell them.

  [they enter] 

  Caroline : Hey, guys.

  Del : Hey, hey. What ya' been?

  Annie : Well, you guys won't believe this. Caroline and I were out at the ATM on Eighth St.

  Caroline : Okay, fine, let's just get it out in the open. I picked my nose and they got it on videotape. Give me your best shot. You may not get another opportunity like this. Caroline, you're so snotty. Caroline, don't be so picky.

  Del : Caroline, you picked your nose?

  Richard : Oh my God. And I use your pencils.

  Annie : Well, I was only going to say you lost your 200 bucks, but hey.

• Del : Of all the people for this to happen to. I mean, you won't even floss in front of me.

  Caroline : Hey, hey, hey. We all have our own little thing. Who locks the bathroom door even when he's all alone?

  Del : I'm working on that.

• Del : I'm late for work.

  Lady : Oh, hey, hey, Do you want to meet Elle McPherson?

  Del : Elle McPherson?

  Lady : Right in there

  Del : Oh, come on.

  Lady : Fine, don't believe me.

  Del : Is she really?

  Lady : Come, I introduce you. What's your name?

  Del : Del.

  Lady : Del. Elle. Elle. Del. Now give me your feet.

• Richard : So, you're jealous of this guy.

  Del : No, I just don't like the idea of a good-looking guy out with my girlfriend.

  Richard : I know someone who's getting a dictionary for Christmas.

• Del : Here, Richard, have a mug.

  Caroline : Don't drink out of it though.

  Richard : That's the story of my life.

• Del : When Caroline and I were going together, I slept over 7 nights a week!

  Richard : Difference is, he doesn't sleep.

• Del : You're Jewish. Can't you help me out?

  Richard : What, you want me to stand outside her window and be your Cyrano de Berkowitz?

• Del : Her name is Risa Glickman. Doesn't that sound like music?

  Richard : Yeah, if you're between stations.

• Del : Richard, tell me this operation doesn't hurt.

  Richard : How should I know? I was 8 days old. I was still rejecting my mother's breast.

• Charlie : Hey! Cut it out!

  Del : Charlie, that's the stick shift!

  Charlie : Either way, I'm flattered.

• Richard : This is ridiculous. I'm taking my lunch break. Del, I don't want any part in this.

  Del : Oh come on, Richard.

  Richard : Back off. gentile.

• Caroline : Del, that's "Fried Green Tomatoes".

  Del : Oh yeah, I love this movie. That Mary Stuart Jessica Louise Parker really cracks me up.

• Johnny : What happened to you?

  Del : I got a facial peel. It makes me look 10 years younger.

  Johnny : It makes you look like an Orangutang's butt!