Caroline in the City (1995–1999)

Amy Pietz: Annie Spadaro, Snowball

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Annie : Hey you didn't stay 'til the end of my New Year's Eve Party.

  Caroline : Sorry, I just couldn't make a three-day commitment.

• Annie : You finally get your one and only marriage and you don't accept because you see yourself in a Volvo commercial?

• Annie : That's how she was going to accept his proposal! It's so romantic!

  Richard : How do you know it was a marriage proposal? It could have been a suicide pact.

  Annie : Somebody wasn't breast-fed!

  Richard : Somebody doesn't have breasts!

• Aunt Mary : Nice to meet you, Richard.

  Annie : Boy, there's a phrase you don't hear too often.

• Caroline : You're Richard's mother?

  Natalie Karinsky : Oh, did he tell you I was dead? Usually he tells everyone I'm dead.

  Annie : No. He said you lived in Utah.

  Natalie Karinsky : Utah? I'd rather be dead.

• Richard : OK, one Christmas morning, I wake up, I run into the living room and my mother says 'I just forgot'.

  Annie : OK, no more calls. We have a winner.

• Annie : Oh oh, there he is. Places.

  Caroline : Annie, maybe you shouldn't.

  Annie : Mrs. Karinsky, can we screw with your kid's head?

  Natalie Karinsky : That's usually a mother's job but what the hell. Go for it.

• Richard : OK, OK, well you've all met Lady Bracknall. So let the games begin.

  Caroline : Well, she really didn't say much but your imaginary friend Adam, he spilled his guts.

  Annie : Yeah, Mr. Bedwetter.

  Richard : I can't believe she told you that.

  Annie : She didn't, gotcha. Five bucks.

• Jimmy : I love Cats. I've seen it 13 times.

  Annie : Oh, that's really sad.

• Annie : Richie can't drive.

  Richard : This is true, but if you lay down in the street I'll give it a try.

• Caroline : What about him?

  Annie : Married.

  Caroline : No ring.

  Annie : He's buying over-the-calf socks.

  Caroline : So?

  Annie : Over-the-calf socks look better when you're dressed because there's no gap between trouser and sock when you cross your legs. Crew socks look better when you're undressed because you don't look like a dork. Obviously, this guy cares more about what he looks like dressed than undressed, ergo married.

• Caroline : Now, promise me you won't tell them.

  Annie : What kind of person do you think I am?

  Caroline : I repeat: promise me you won't tell them.

  [they enter] 

  Caroline : Hey, guys.

  Del : Hey, hey. What ya' been?

  Annie : Well, you guys won't believe this. Caroline and I were out at the ATM on Eighth St.

  Caroline : Okay, fine, let's just get it out in the open. I picked my nose and they got it on videotape. Give me your best shot. You may not get another opportunity like this. Caroline, you're so snotty. Caroline, don't be so picky.

  Del : Caroline, you picked your nose?

  Richard : Oh my God. And I use your pencils.

  Annie : Well, I was only going to say you lost your 200 bucks, but hey.

• Annie : Oh oh, and I met a guy. Rob Rothman.

  Caroline : Wow. What's he like?

  Annie : I have no idea. I was hoping you would remember him.

  Caroline : Wait, you know his name but you don't remember what he looks like?

  Richard : Oh, interesting variation. Usually she remembers what they look like and can't remember their names.

  Annie : Well, I guess I had a tad too much punch.

• Annie : All right you buy something for Del that cost the same. You keep the bracelet for yourself. Then nobody is selfish, everybody is generous and you've got 25 new best friends.

  Caroline : Annie, that's a total rationalization.

  Annie : Thank you.

  Caroline : No, thank you.

• Richard : Would ya look at that, Salvador Dali actually wrote my name. Why didn't she tell me?

  Annie : In case you missed the point of the letter, he said you sucked.

• Annie : Richard is going to freak. Caroline, listen to this. Joseph, say it.

  Joseph : OK, dirtbag. Hands on the wall and spread 'em.

  Annie : Don't you just love that!

• Caroline : There's the dirtbag now.

  Annie : Since when does he knock?

  Caroline : Since he walked in on Del doing pushups in the nude.

• Richard : Is she gone yet?

  Caroline : Yeah, Richard, she left.

  Annie : Give your mommy a kiss . . . it hurts to talk like that.

• Annie : Oh God. One Christmas our dog Vandi stole the Baby Jesus from the Nativity scene and my mother ran through the neighborhood in her housecoat screaming 'Vandi, you eat that Baby Jesus, you're going to Doggy Hell.'

• Annie : Richard, you've met my mother.

  Richard : Ah, yes of course, charmed. Rosemary's Mother.

• Annie : Sister Mary Agnes was right. Maybe I am just rotten to the core.

• Annie : Happy birthday, Tightass!

  Richard : Thanks a lot, Tart.

• Jimmy : Annie Spadaro, 2-4-7-3.

  Annie : My friends call me 2-4.

  Jimmy : I must meet your friends. They sound like a hoot.

• Jimmy : Do you know what I'm doing?

  Annie : Yeah, I got a pretty good idea.

  Jimmy : I'm marking you.

• Annie : I'm getting audited by the IRS!

  Richard : Oh, goodie, Santa got my letter.

• Annie : He says 'I love you', and you say 'thanks'?!

  Caroline : He's been saying I love you all day, and I already used 'Yep', 'I know', and "Uh, hey, what's that over there!"

• Richard : Oh yes. It's always been a dream of mine to get soggy in milk.

  Annie : I got news for you, bud . . .

• Annie : What are you doin'?

  Richard : I'm going home. The same thing you do after you get out of bed and find your clothes.

• Richard : This is intolerable!

  Annie : Ohh! SAT word. I'm out of here.

• Joe : Caroline, honey, we have a problem.

  Annie : No, Joe, it's only if her urine turns the stick blue.

• Annie : My mother is driving me crazy!

  Caroline : That reminds me. I need to get a new phone.

• Annie : Hey, Richard, I could use your help with this. I need to learn how to act like a man. Who do you study with?

• Annie : Can I hide in here? My mom's cooking in my apartment, and she's going to make me stir something or form balls out of something.

• Annie : Wow! You don't know "The Brady Bunch"? See, this is the problem with the American education system!

• Annie : There's no such word as dummo!

  Richard : And what language employs the usage of the word freako?