The Thin Blue Line (1995–1996)

Rowan Atkinson: Inspector Raymond Fowler

Photos 

Quotes 

• Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : I doubt Constable Goody would "get it", if it came in a large bag marked, "IT".

• Detective Inspector Derek Grim : I've got a tough job Raymond, and I need your cooperation. Now it's pretty urgent, so I won't beat around the proverbial privet. Frankly I'm too busy a man to be cluck-clucking like a decapitated feathered fowl, so I'll get straight to the point.

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : I'm very happy to hear that.

  Detective Inspector Derek Grim : Time waits for no man as the proverb goes, and what I say is, in CID crime waits for no man. So, with that in mind, I shall cut the bovine feces altogether. This is CID work, and in CID, we dispense with niceties, we avoid irrelevance, disregard herrings, red or otherwise, and above all, we do not fanny about!

• Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : The artful dodger was a thief. And I don't think he'd have considered himself quite so "at home" in a juvenile detention center, which is where I'd have put him. Thieving is thieving and no amount of oom-pa-pa or boom-titty-titty will change that.

• [Sergent Patricia Dawkins nearly cast as tomahawk in Peter Pan panto last year] 

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : You'll be a wonderful red indian maid.

  Sergent Patricia Dawkins : That's silly little costume, my thigh's too fat.

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : What an absurd thing for you to say.

  Sergent Patricia Dawkins : You're saying that just to be nice.

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : No, I'm sure there's a number of red indians have fat thighs.

• Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : [to Inspector Grim]  You have all the intelligence of a Pot Noodle.

• Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : I doubt Patricia will get anything warm and satisfying inside her tonight.

• Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : Start stringing words together willy-nilly and it can lead to no end of confusion. Constable Kray let me have your notebook.

  [Takes notebook and starts to read] 

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : . Look here. "The criminal ran round my side and out the back at a colossal lick". Jumble up the words and suddenly you have "The criminal licked out my colossal round backside and ran."

• Detective Inspector Derek Grim : Obstructing CID in the course of their investigations, Raymond? That's a very serious offence, I've half a mind to charge you!

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : You have half a mind... full stop!

• Detective Inspector Derek Grim : I've been liaising with some *geeeeeezers* from 'The Met'; pooling our intelligence.

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : Goodness. Between you, you must have made an imbecile.

• Sergent Patricia Dawkins : We are not the first, and we won't be the last couple to have problems with our sex life.

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : We do not have a problem.

  Sergent Patricia Dawkins : We don't have a sex life!

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : Exactly, so I can hardly see how there could be a problem with it!

• Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : Keen of eye, swift of thought, and regular of bowel.

• Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : [talking about drugs]  When I was a teenager, my idea of chemical stimulation was sucking on a Fisherman's Friend!

  [P.C. Goody and P.C. Habib start chuckling] 

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : What is so funny, goody?

  P.C. Goody : Well sir, you just said your idea of chemical stimulation was sucking on a Fisherman's Friend!

  Inspector Raymond C. Fowler : So?

  P.C. Goody : Well, everyone knows they're AWFUL!