Batman Forever (1995)
Jim Carrey: Riddler, Edward Nygma
Photos
Quotes
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The Riddler : Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big, black bat?
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Edward Nygma : [hit boss on head with coffee canister] Caffeine'll KILL YA!
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The Riddler : You're ruining my big party! Are you insane?
Two-Face : Just waiting for you to deliver the Batman, dear boy.
The Riddler : Patience, O Bifurcated One!
Two-Face : Patience is hell! We want him dead!
The Riddler : Well, you could have let me in on the caper. We could have organized this, planned it... pre-sold the movie rights.
Two-Face : Ha!
[Batman enters through the skylight, and begins to fight Two-Face's thugs]
The Riddler : Your entrance was good. His was better.
[Batman continues to fight thugs]
The Riddler : The difference: showmanship!
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The Riddler : [to Two-Face, who has just blown a hole in the ceiling of his lair] Has anybody ever told you you have a SERIOUS IMPULSE-CONTROL PROBLEM?
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Edward Nygma : [as Fred dangles at the edge of the broken window over the water chasim] Fred, Babe, you are fired, or should I say: Terminated!
[lets Fred fall to his death]
Edward Nygma : Surfs up, Big Kahona!
[splash]
Edward Nygma : Ooooo, nice form, but a little rough on the landing. He may have to settle for the bronze.
[laughs]
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Batman : I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
The Riddler : Please! You're as blind as a bat!
Batman : Exactly.
[throws a batarang at his throne]
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The Riddler : Why? Why can't I kill you? Too many questions. Too many questions.
Batman : Poor Edward. I had to save them both. You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne and Batman, not because I have to be, now, because I choose to be.
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Two-Face : [He cries on seeing a newspaper report of Batman's latest escape]
The Riddler : That's what I said. Then I taught my doggie a new trick: how to map the human mind. Would you like to see what our old friend Bruce Wayne has in his head?
The Riddler : [he plugs in the disk with Bruce Wayne's memory; on the screen they see the image of the giant bat. Two-Face starts laughing] Riddle me this, what sort of a man has bats on the brain? Go ahead, you can say it.
Two-Face : You're a genius!
The Riddler : Oh, stop!
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The Riddler : For if knowledge is power, then a god am... I!
[pauses]
The Riddler : Was that over the top? I can never tell.
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The Riddler : [after being defeated] Why? Why can't I kill you? Too many questions. Too many questions.
Batman : Poor Edward. I had to save them both. You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Not because I have to be. Now... because I choose to be.
The Riddler : [Batman holds out his hand, as he backs away as he sees a bat] AAAAHHH! AHHHHGH! AAAAGH!
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Two Face : [trying to sink Robin's boat] B12!
The Riddler : Hit! And my favorite vitamin might I add.
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The Riddler : [Two-Face destroys Robin's boat] YOU SUNK MY BATTLE SHIP!
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The Riddler : [Chase has told the Riddler that Batman will come for her; imitating Cesar Romero's Joker] Batman? Batman, you say? Coming for you?
The Riddler : [laughs] I'm... COUNTING ON IT!
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The Riddler : [of Two-Face's Lair] I simply love what you've done with the place. Heavy Metal meets House and Garden.
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The Riddler : Joygasm!
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Two-Face : What?
The Riddler : I hope you made extra.
Two-Face : Who the hell are you?
The Riddler : Just a friend. But you can call me... the Riddler.
Two-Face : [grabs Riddler by the collar] We'll call you dead, more likely! How did you find us here?
The Riddler : But then if I talked, what would keep you from killing me anyway, O Bifurcated One?
The Riddler : [looks at Two-Face's disfigurement] By the way, that's never gonna heal if you don't stop picking.
Two-Face : Oh?
Two-Face : [puts pistol to Riddler's head] Let's see if you bleed green!
The Riddler : Harvey! I don't think it's me you really want to kill. That'd be too easy for someone as sophisticated as you... and you. But Batman...
The Riddler : [gasps] Now, there's a challenge! Kill the Bat! Sounds like a good idea!
The Riddler : [Two-Face feigns modesty] Just think of it, a few bullets hit home, a quick splash of blood, and then what? Wet hands... post-homicidal depression.
The Riddler : [whimpers] I can help you get Batman.
The Riddler : [looks at Two-Face's pistol] That is if you'll spare my life for just a few moments.
Two-Face : [cocks his head in amusment and puts his gun away] Heh...
The Riddler : Thank you.
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Dr. Chase Meridian : [Edward is hiding in the shadows of his cell in Arkham Asylum] Edward?
Edward Nygma : Who is it?
Dr. Chase Meridian : It's Dr. Meridian; Chase. Do you remember me?
Edward Nygma : How can I forget?
Dr. Chase Meridian : Dr. Burton tells me that you know who Batman is.
Edward Nygma : I can't tell you if you don't say "please".
Dr. Chase Meridian : Edward, please. Who is Batman?
Edward Nygma : [leaps out from the shadows with his outfit in the shape of a bat costume] I'M... Batman!
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The Riddler : Hey Two-Face, show me how to punch a guy!
Two-Face : Oh, it's dead simple, my boy.
Two-Face : [demonstrates] Ball up the fist, reach way back, and assert yourself.
[knocks guard out with one punch]
The Riddler : Ohhhh, that looks like fun! Let me try! Let me try! Ball up the fist, reach way back, and assert your...
[hits guard with no effect and holds his hand in agony]
The Riddler : OW!
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The Riddler : Like the jacket? It keeps me safe when I'm... jogging at night!
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The Riddler : [Upon discovering the Batcave] Spank me!
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The Riddler : [to Two Face after Batman shows up] Your entrance was good... his was better. The difference: showmanship.
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The Riddler : [turns on the other Boxes for Sugar and Spice, then shows him his Box wand] This is how I found you. Let me demonstrate.
The Riddler : [puts the wand on Two-Face's head] This is your brain on the Box.
The Riddler : [takes the wand off of Two-Face's head] This is my brain on the Box.
The Riddler : [puts the wand on his own head] Does anybody else feel like a fried egg?
Two-Face : We'll have a bit more, thank you.
The Riddler : Oh, there's more. But only the first one's free. Here's the bargain: you will help me steal production capital, so I can put a Box on every TV in town. So I can become Gotham's cleverest carbon-based life-form! And in return... is everybody paying attention? I will help you solve the greatest riddle of all... the mother of all riddles: "Who is Batman?"
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The Riddler : [stops Two Face killing Batman] Don't kill him! If you kill him, he won't learn nothin'!
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[Two-Face and the Riddler enter Wayne Manor]
The Riddler : Seize-and-capture...
Two-Face : [sighs, to his thugs] No killing.
[Riddler leans in]
The Riddler : That goes double for you.
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The Riddler : [while raiding a jewelry store and looking at a diamond through a hand-held microscope] Here's a good one.
Two-Face : No, no, no.
[shows the Riddler a bigger diamond]
Two-Face : Now, there is a good one.
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The Riddler : [as "The Box" is used on Strickley; imitating game show host] Edward Nygma, come on down! You're the next contestant on "Brain Drain"!
The Riddler : [imitating shy game show contestant] Um, gee, ooh, uh, I'll take what's inside Thick Skull #1!
The Riddler : [imitating game show host] What have we got for him, Johnny?
The Riddler : [laughs] Stickley! I'm having a breakthrough! And a breakdown? Maybe! Nevertheless, I'm smarter. I'm a genius. No, several geniuses! A gaggle! A swarm! A flock of freakin' Freuds! Riddle me this, Fred! What is everything to someone and nothing to everyone else? Your mind, baby! And now mine pumps with the power of yours!
The Riddler : [singing] I'm sucking up your I.Q., vacuuming your cortex, feeding off your brain!
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The Riddler : By the way, I've seen your mind. Freak! Yours is the greatest riddle of all! Can Bruce Wayne and Batman ever truly coexist? We'll find out today! But first, let's meet our contestants. Behind curtain... number one!
The Riddler : [Sugar pulls the rope, the curtain drops and reveals Chase Meridian tied up and hung in a container high up in the room] The absolutely fabulous Dr. Chase Meridian! She enjoys hiking, manicures and foolishly hopes to be the love of Bruce's life... HA!
Two-Face : [clapping his hands] Heh!
The Riddler : And behind curtain number two!
The Riddler : [Spice pulls the rope, another curtain drops and reveals two holes in the floor leading into a dark pit. Both are underneath the two containers] Fatman's one and only partner! This acrobat turned orphan like Saturday morning cartoons and dreams one day being...
The Riddler : [whispers] bare naked with a girl!
Two-Face : Gasp!
The Riddler : [He turns to Two-Face, laughs] and below these contestants... my personal favorite: A watery grave!
The Riddler : [He reveals two holes in the floor leading into a dark pit. Both are underneath the two containers and he points to his scepter] Just one little touch... and five seconds later, these two date players are GULL FEED on the rocks below... Not enough time to save them both... Which one will it be, Batman? Bruce's love... or the Dark Knight's junior partner?
Batman : [the Riddler imitates a game show timer while he ponders in thought] There is no way for me to save them or myself... This is all one giant death trap.
The Riddler : Judges?
The Riddler : [makes a buzzer noise] I'm sorry. Your answer must be in the form of a question. But, thank you for playing.
Batman : [Shortly after The Riddler begins to push the button on his Spector] Wait! I have a riddle for you.
The Riddler : For me? Really?
The Riddler : [laughing] Tell me.
Batman : I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
The Riddler : Please... You're as blind as a bat!
Batman : Exactly.
[Batman throws a batarang at The Riddler's throne]
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Bruce Wayne : [Edward extends his had to shake Bruce's] Mister...?
Edward Nygma : Ohhhhh... Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Wayne : No, that's uh, my name. And you are?
Edward Nygma : Oh! Nygma. Edward... Edward Nygma. You hired me personally. We've never actually met, but your name is on the hiring slip. I have it.
Bruce Wayne : I'm gonna need that hand back, Ed.
Bruce Wayne : Oh! Yes, of course! I'm sorry. It's just that... you're my idol.
Fred Stickley : Back to work, Edward.
Edward Nygma : [yanks arm away] And some people have been trying to keep us apart
Fred Stickley : Back to work, Edward!
Bruce Wayne : It's okay. So, Mr. Nygma, what's on your mind?
Edward Nygma : Precisely! What's on all our minds? Brainwaves.
[giggles, running back toward his cubicle]
Edward Nygma : The future of Wayne Enterprises is brainwaves.
Fred Stickley : You'll have to forgive this, Mr. Wayne; I personally terminated this project this morning!
Bruce Wayne : It's okay.
Edward Nygma : [pops out with a high-tech contraption] I have it! Voila! Huh? My invention beams any TV signal directly into the human brain. By stimulating the neurons, manipulating brainwaves if you will, this device makes the viewer feel like they're actually inside the show! Why be brutalized by an uncaring world?
Bruce Wayne : Did you say manipulating brainwaves?
Edward Nygma : Well... uh... yes.
Bruce Wayne : Hmmm.
Edward Nygma : Not that someone like you would need this. Someone so... sophisticated... and intelligent. I just need additional funds and time for human testing. Let me show you, please!
Bruce Wayne : Now look, Ed. I'm going to need a full set of technical schematics on this, all right?
Edward Nygma : I want you to know we're gonna be full partners on this Bruce! Look at us! Two of a kind!
Bruce Wayne : You call my assistant Margaret, she'll set something up.
Edward Nygma : [grabs Wayne by the arm] Uhhhhhh... that's not gonna be good for me. I need an answer now. I think I deserve it.
Bruce Wayne : I'm sorry, Ed, then the answer's no. Stimulating neurons... tampering with people's brainwaves... it just raises too many questions. I'm sorry. Thanks, everybody, factory looks great; keep up the good work.
Fred Stickley : All right, everyone. Back to work...
Fred Stickley : [in Nygma's ear] We'll discuss this later!
Edward Nygma : [watching Wayne leave] You were supposed to understand!... I'll make you understand.
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The Riddler : This is your brain on the box. This is my brain on the box. Does anybody else feel like a fried egg?
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The Riddler : Soon my little "Box" will be on countless TVs around the world. Feeding me, credit card numbers, bank codes, sexual fantasies, and little white lies. Into my head they'll go. Victory is inevitable.
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The Riddler : This is your captain speaking. Please remain in your seats, we will be experiencing... turbulence!
[he presses a button, the tower fires an energy blast that shoots down the Batplane]
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The Riddler : [while looking for the Batcave] OK. Now, if I was a superhero, where would I hide?
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The Riddler : [after shooting down the Batplane] I hope they can find the little black box.
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The Riddler : If you look at the numbers on my face you won't find 13 anyplace.
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Bat Computer : Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
The Riddler : [mocking] Intruder alert. Intruder alert. SHUT UP!
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Fred Stickley : What the hell just happened?
Edward Nygma : A very surprising side effect. While you were mesmerized by my 3-D TV, I utilized your neural energy to grow smarter.
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The Riddler : Tell the fat lady she's on in five.
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Edward Nygma : [during his introduction of "The Box"] Now, you can be a part of the action. Witness the entertainment in your living room.
Edward Nygma : [presents "The Box"] The Box, in every home in America, and one day, the world.
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Edward Nygma : ["mourning" Fred Stickley] Why? Oh, why? I just can't believe it. Two years working in the same office. He was like my father... my brother... or a cousin that visits all the time!
Executive : Get a grip, Edward.
Edward Nygma : [holding up a suicide note] I found this in my cubicle. You'll find the handwriting matches his exactly, as does sentence structure and spelling.
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Two Face : Who the hell are you?
The Riddler : Just a friend, but you can call me, the Riddler!
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Edward Nygma : Questions, Mr. Wayne? My work raises to many questions?
Edward Nygma : [places device on his desk and looks into the security camera] Why hasn't anybody put you in your place?
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Edward Nygma : Rise and shine, little guinea pig.
Fred Stickley : [fiding himself strapped into the Box] What are you doing, Nygma? Untie me!
Edward Nygma : [wearing another Box] This won't hurt a bit. At least, I don't think it will.
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Gossip Gerty : Edward, how does it feel to be the city's newest, most eligible bachelor? Gotham must know!
[spotting Bruce]
Gossip Gerty : Oh! There's Bruce Wayne! Brucie!
Sugar : Oh, Eddie, he is too cute. How come you don't look so good in that suit?
Edward Nygma : Shut up! You're here to work. How's my mole?
Sugar : Fine.
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Gossip Gerty : NygmaTech stock is outselling Wayne Enterprises 2 to 1. Are you yesterday's news, Bruce?
Edward Nygma : Yes, yes, yes! Bruce, old man. The press were just wondering what if feels like to be outsold, outclassed, outcoifed, and... generally outdone in every way.
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Riddler : Remember the plan: seize and capture.
Harvey Two-Face : [to his goons] No killing.
Riddler : That goes double for you.
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The Riddler : Now the real game begins!
