Batman Forever (1995)

Tommy Lee Jones: Harvey Two-Face, Harvey Dent

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Two-Face : One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion. Why? Why, why, why, why, why? Luck! Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck!

• The Riddler : You're ruining my big party! Are you insane?

  Two-Face : Just waiting for you to deliver the Batman, dear boy.

  The Riddler : Patience, O Bifurcated One!

  Two-Face : Patience is hell! We want him dead!

  The Riddler : Well, you could have let me in on the caper. We could have organized this, planned it... pre-sold the movie rights.

  Two-Face : Ha!

  [Batman enters through the skylight, and begins to fight Two-Face's thugs] 

  The Riddler : Your entrance was good. His was better.

  [Batman continues to fight thugs] 

  The Riddler : The difference: showmanship!

• Two-Face : [He cries on seeing a newspaper report of Batman's latest escape] 

  The Riddler : That's what I said. Then I taught my doggie a new trick: how to map the human mind. Would you like to see what our old friend Bruce Wayne has in his head?

  The Riddler : [he plugs in the disk with Bruce Wayne's memory; on the screen they see the image of the giant bat. Two-Face starts laughing]  Riddle me this, what sort of a man has bats on the brain? Go ahead, you can say it.

  Two-Face : You're a genius!

  The Riddler : Oh, stop!

• Two Face : [trying to sink Robin's boat]  B12!

  The Riddler : Hit! And my favorite vitamin might I add.

• Two-Face : What?

  The Riddler : I hope you made extra.

  Two-Face : Who the hell are you?

  The Riddler : Just a friend. But you can call me... the Riddler.

  Two-Face : [grabs Riddler by the collar]  We'll call you dead, more likely! How did you find us here?

  The Riddler : But then if I talked, what would keep you from killing me anyway, O Bifurcated One?

  The Riddler : [looks at Two-Face's disfigurement]  By the way, that's never gonna heal if you don't stop picking.

  Two-Face : Oh?

  Two-Face : [puts pistol to Riddler's head]  Let's see if you bleed green!

  The Riddler : Harvey! I don't think it's me you really want to kill. That'd be too easy for someone as sophisticated as you... and you. But Batman...

  The Riddler : [gasps]  Now, there's a challenge! Kill the Bat! Sounds like a good idea!

  The Riddler : [Two-Face feigns modesty]  Just think of it, a few bullets hit home, a quick splash of blood, and then what? Wet hands... post-homicidal depression.

  The Riddler : [whimpers]  I can help you get Batman.

  The Riddler : [looks at Two-Face's pistol]  That is if you'll spare my life for just a few moments.

  Two-Face : [cocks his head in amusment and puts his gun away]  Heh...

  The Riddler : Thank you.

• The Riddler : Hey Two-Face, show me how to punch a guy!

  Two-Face : Oh, it's dead simple, my boy.

  Two-Face : [demonstrates]  Ball up the fist, reach way back, and assert yourself.

  [knocks guard out with one punch] 

  The Riddler : Ohhhh, that looks like fun! Let me try! Let me try! Ball up the fist, reach way back, and assert your...

  [hits guard with no effect and holds his hand in agony] 

  The Riddler : OW!

• The Riddler : [turns on the other Boxes for Sugar and Spice, then shows him his Box wand]  This is how I found you. Let me demonstrate.

  The Riddler : [puts the wand on Two-Face's head]  This is your brain on the Box.

  The Riddler : [takes the wand off of Two-Face's head]  This is my brain on the Box.

  The Riddler : [puts the wand on his own head]  Does anybody else feel like a fried egg?

  Two-Face : We'll have a bit more, thank you.

  The Riddler : Oh, there's more. But only the first one's free. Here's the bargain: you will help me steal production capital, so I can put a Box on every TV in town. So I can become Gotham's cleverest carbon-based life-form! And in return... is everybody paying attention? I will help you solve the greatest riddle of all... the mother of all riddles: "Who is Batman?"

• [Two-Face and the Riddler enter Wayne Manor] 

  The Riddler : Seize-and-capture...

  Two-Face : [sighs, to his thugs]  No killing.

  [Riddler leans in] 

  The Riddler : That goes double for you.

• Two-Face : [He decides a victim's fate with a coin toss]  Ah. Fortune smiles. Another day of wine and roses. Or, in your case, beer and pizza!

• The Riddler : [while raiding a jewelry store and looking at a diamond through a hand-held microscope]  Here's a good one.

  Two-Face : No, no, no.

  [shows the Riddler a bigger diamond] 

  Two-Face : Now, there is a good one.

• The Riddler : By the way, I've seen your mind. Freak! Yours is the greatest riddle of all! Can Bruce Wayne and Batman ever truly coexist? We'll find out today! But first, let's meet our contestants. Behind curtain... number one!

  The Riddler : [Sugar pulls the rope, the curtain drops and reveals Chase Meridian tied up and hung in a container high up in the room]  The absolutely fabulous Dr. Chase Meridian! She enjoys hiking, manicures and foolishly hopes to be the love of Bruce's life... HA!

  Two-Face : [clapping his hands]  Heh!

  The Riddler : And behind curtain number two!

  The Riddler : [Spice pulls the rope, another curtain drops and reveals two holes in the floor leading into a dark pit. Both are underneath the two containers]  Fatman's one and only partner! This acrobat turned orphan like Saturday morning cartoons and dreams one day being...

  The Riddler : [whispers]  bare naked with a girl!

  Two-Face : Gasp!

  The Riddler : [He turns to Two-Face, laughs]  and below these contestants... my personal favorite: A watery grave!

  The Riddler : [He reveals two holes in the floor leading into a dark pit. Both are underneath the two containers and he points to his scepter]  Just one little touch... and five seconds later, these two date players are GULL FEED on the rocks below... Not enough time to save them both... Which one will it be, Batman? Bruce's love... or the Dark Knight's junior partner?

  Batman : [the Riddler imitates a game show timer while he ponders in thought]  There is no way for me to save them or myself... This is all one giant death trap.

  The Riddler : Judges?

  The Riddler : [makes a buzzer noise]  I'm sorry. Your answer must be in the form of a question. But, thank you for playing.

  Batman : [Shortly after The Riddler begins to push the button on his Spector]  Wait! I have a riddle for you.

  The Riddler : For me? Really?

  The Riddler : [laughing]  Tell me.

  Batman : I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?

  The Riddler : Please... You're as blind as a bat!

  Batman : Exactly.

  [Batman throws a batarang at The Riddler's throne] 

• Two-Face : You have broken into our hideout. You have violated the sanctity of our lair. For this we should crush your bones into POWDER. However, you do pose a very interesting proposition: therefore, heads, we accept, and tails, we blow your damned head off!

• Two-Face : For your dying pleasure, we are serving the very same acid that made us the men we are today.

• Harvey Two-Face : You're a man after our own heart, son. I'll see you in hell.

  Robin : [offering his hand]  I'd rather see you in jail.

  Harvey Two-Face : [Robin pulls him up]  Oh, good boy. Good boy. The Bat has taught him very well.

  [drawing his gun] 

  Harvey Two-Face : It's noble. Stupid, but noble.

• Two-Face : You're counting on the winged avenger to deliver you from evil, aren't you, my friend?

  Bank Guard : Are you gonna kill me?

  Two-Face : Maybe, maybe not. You could say we're of two minds on the subject.

• Two-Face : [jams a gun into the annoying Riddler's cheek]  Let's see if you bleed green.

• Bank Guard : You said you'd let me live!

  Harvey Two-Face : True, true, and so you shall. Nothing better than live bait to trap a bat!

• Harvey Two-Face : All those heroics for nothing. No more riddles, no more curtains one and two, just plain curtains.

  Batman : Aren't you forgetting something, Harvey? Your coin. You're always of two minds about everything.

• Two-Face : Why can't you just die?

• The Mayor : What the hell do you want, Harvey?

  Harvey Two-Face : Want, Mr. Mayor? One simple thing: Batman, bruised, broken, bleeding. In a word, DEAD!

• Two-Face : Don't worry, people, no need for alarm, it's just a good-old fashioned, low-tech stick up! We're interested in the basics: cash, jewelry, cellular telephones. Just hand them over nicely, and no one will be hurt.

• Two Face : Let's start this party with a bang.

• Two-Face : [the elevator beeps]  Very punctual, even to his own funeral! Boys, kill the Bat!

• Two Face : Who the hell are you?

  The Riddler : Just a friend, but you can call me, the Riddler!

• Two-Face : The bat's stubborn refusal to expire... is driving us INSANE!

• Two-Face : [before falling to his death]  Yes,of course you're right, Bruce. Emotions are always the enemy of true justice... thank you... you've always been a good friend.

• Two-Face : You're counting on the winged avenger to deliver you from evil aren't you, my friend?

  Bank Guard : Are you going kill me?

  Two-Face : Maybe, maybe not. You could say we're of two minds on the subject?

• Riddler : Remember the plan: seize and capture.

  Harvey Two-Face : [to his goons]  No killing.

  Riddler : That goes double for you.