The Steve Harvey Show (1996–2002)

Steve Harvey: Steve Hightower

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Steve : Regina, Lovita... you gotta help me with my niece. She just don't act like a normal teenager. She don't talk back, she don't roll her eyes... the poor girl thinks that Snoop Doggy Dog is Charlie Brown's pet!

• Steve : Lemme tell you, I would put hot sauce on my ears and fight Tyson for that girl.

• [to Romeo] 

  Steve : Boy, you better watch your tone of voice with me! This ain't Michelle Pfeiffer you're talking to.

• [a student has lost weight] 

  Steve : Damn, girl! You look like Luther two albums ago.

• Steve : Lovita, please. You in the kitchen is like a black man in a horror film - - somebody gonna die!

• [Cedric is dressed in a gold tuxedo] 

  Steve : Ced, you look like an Oscar from Compton!

• Steve : I haven't seen this much food since I was backstage at an Aretha Franklin concert.

• Bullethead : I'm sorry, my religion does not allow me to work on the sabbath.

  Steve : The sabbath, for you, is on a wednesday? Boy, your ignorance is dazzling.

  Bullethead : Thank you.

• Steve : Lovita, you want raffle tickets? In English, "no"; In Spanish, "no"; in Russian, "nyet", and in Ebonics, HECK no!

• Steve : You simple crash test dummy.

• [Regina is wearing a neckbrace and walking on crutches] 

  Steve : Regina, you look like an extra in "E.R.".

• Steve : Ced, when I see that woman, I'm like Shaq doing Shakespeare - I just don't know how to act!

• Steve : This boy thinks that Hamlet is something you order with home fries and toast.

• Steve : Regina, I teach six classes, three different subjects, I got study hall and a room full of teenagers with their hormones just ragin'. Couple of them are hotter than a Porsche in the projects.

• Bullethead : Hey guys, let's get going. I gotta meet my date!

  Steve : A date?

  Romeo : Yeah. I'm as shocked as you are, Mr. Hightower, but it's true! Bullethead's got a chickenhead!

• Steve : Your checks do more bouncing than Nell Carter on a pogo stick.

• Regina : Steve, can I see you for a moment?

  Steve : [chuckles]  Ya know, if I had a nickel for every time a woman approached me with that question...

  Regina : [continues]  You'd have twelve minutes on a parking meter.

• Steve : Well, how's it going, Eryka Ba-Don't?

  Regina : Ok, I will admit that I did freeze up a little on stage.

  Steve : A little? Girl, you froze up like a homeless Eskimo.

• [at studio with Teddy Riley] 

  Romeo : [on phone]  Miss Jenkins, I'm at the studio with Teddy Riley right now.

  Lovita : [sarcastically]  Sure, Romeo... and me and Barry White are here trading perm secrets.

  Steve : [talking to himself]  I just hope they don't ask that boy to read.

• Steve : I'm gonna work you boys harder than a beeper in the projects.

• Steve : [after Regina's failed attempt to stop Romeo from Humiliating Steve, ending up with Regina receiving a Key Lime Pie to the face and Steve is urprised that Regina came up to him]  Well, look who's here. Our very own Principal Grier!

  Regina : [With pie on her face]  I hate you, Steve!

  Steve : But I love you though...

  [Steve licks his fingers after Regina coughs and starts to wipe the pie filling off] 

  Steve : That's Key Lime. That's my favorite.