The Stupids (1996)

Rolonda Watts: Talk Show Hostess

Quotes 

• Talk Show Hostess : Have you ever thought that you came from a strange or unusual family? Well, after you meet our guests, you might want to adjust your standards.

  Talk Show Guest #1 : I divorced my wife in order to marry her daughter.

  Talk Show Guest #2 : I married a siamese twin and had an affair with her sister.

  Talk Show Guest #3 : I've been engaged to three of my cousins.

  Stanley Stupid : I'm, well, to tell you the truth, I'm my own Grandpa.

  Talk Show Hostess : You're your own Grandpa? Well, for some of us who don't understand this, can you explain?

  Stanley Stupid : Well, yes. It's quite simple, really.

  [sings] 

  Stanley Stupid : Many many years ago when I was twenty three/ I was married to a widow who was purdy as can be/ This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red/ My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed/

  Stanley Stupid : This made my dad my son in law and changed my very life/ For my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife/ To complicate the matters even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy/

  Stanley Stupid : This little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad/ And so became my uncle though it made me very sad/ For if he was my uncle than it also makes him brother/ To the widow's grown-up daughter who of course if my stepmother/

  Stanley Stupid : My father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run/ And he became my grandchild 'cause he was my daughter's son/ My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue/ For although she is my wife she is my grandmother too/

  Stanley Stupid : If my wife is my grandmother than I am her grandchild/ And every time I think of this it nearly drives me wild/

  Talk Show Hostess : has got to be the craziest thing I ever saw

  Stanley Stupid : As husband to my grandmother I am my own grandpa!