- [First lines]
- Trojan Eddie: See this razor? I tell you words cannot express my love for this razor. This is the Rolls Royce of razors. Did you know that? It glides across your face like a hovercraft, it's cordless, light as a feather too. And talk about a close shave, I tell you if it was any closer I'd have to sell it as a vibrator. What are you laughing at?
- Trojan Eddie: Trojan Eddie. And I come out with all that spiel too, you know. Just sorta spills outta me. "Hello missus, fancy a canary going cheap?"
- Shirley: What's wrong with you?
- Trojan Eddie: Ah, go to bed, will you.
- Shirley: You know, I think I will. After all, when a man leaves a woman with her legs in the air to go running back to his little mistress, it's time to call it a day I think, don't you?
- Trojan Eddie: You try to come between me and those children and I swear to god...
- Shirley: All right, Eddie. Keep it down. I'm not even sure they're both yours, for Christ's sake.
- Trojan Eddie: I did time for you.
- Raymie: No, you got caught. You always got caught. I'm to blame because you got caught. Well, now you're caught again, Eddie.
- Raymie: [to Eddie] What're you siding with him all the time for? He's no friend of yours. You could be on fire and he wouldn't even cross the road to piss on you.