Teen Angel (1997–1998)
Mike Damus: Marty DePolo, Marticus DePolo
Photos
Quotes
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Steve Beauchamp : No, no, wait a minute. This isn't happening to me.
Marty DePolo : No, no, it's true, check it out! I've got retractable wings! Come on. Feel it.
Steve Beauchamp : Nah, a guy doesn't feel another guy's wings, man.
Marty DePolo : Come on. Get with the times.
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Marty DePolo : What a tangled web we weave, to get a date for Steve... Beauchamp.
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Marty DePolo : I knew he'd leave me one day, but did it have to be for a blonde? It's so typical!... there, I said it.
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Marty DePolo : [to Nia] Even heaven can't compare to you.
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Marty DePolo : [to an angel in the opening sequence] Hey, what'd you die of?
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Angela : Oh, Marty, Marty. I've been doing this a long time, Hon. I know what you must be feeling, but don't you worry. The good have nothing to fear.
Marty DePolo : Uh oh!
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God's cousin Rod : It is only because of your extreme youth that we are considering your admission into Heaven.
Marty DePolo : All right, tried as a minor!
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Marty DePolo : Hey, I'll visit whenever I can. I get all the Jewish holidays off.
[whispers]
Marty DePolo : The boss' son is Jewish.
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Marty DePolo : [tries to hug Steve, but goes right through him] Not solid enough; I gotta eat more bananas.
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Marty DePolo : No way! There really is a Cupid?
God's cousin Rod : Of course! How do you think Claudia Schiffer ended up with that Copperfield fellow?
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Judy Beauchamp : And Aunt Louise is an angel now, and so's Grandpa Joe.
Marty DePolo : He must be the 'fall asleep with his hands in his pants' angel.
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Marty DePolo : Let me do some research here.
[walks down to where Edie and her friend are at their lockers. He snaps his fingers and Edie's friend goes over to her]
Friend : Edie, would you ever go out with a guy who couldn't sing?
Edie : Gross!
Marty DePolo : I was afraid of that. Hey, I could find out a lot of things.
[snaps his fingers again and Edie's friend walks back over to her]
Friend : Edie, what did you think of Marty DePolo when he was alive?
Edie : Gross!
Marty DePolo : I'm not licked yet!
[snaps his fingers again]
Friend : Edie, what would you think of Marty DePolo if he were alive and he could sing?
Edie : Gross!
Marty DePolo : [goes to snap his fingers again but thinks better of it] I give up.
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God's cousin Rod : We'll start things off with a nice gift basket.
Marty DePolo : Gift basket?
God's cousin Rod : It's full of goodies to help with your adjustment.
Laurie : Ooh, turtle wax!
Marty DePolo : I didn't get a gift basket.
God's cousin Rod : Marty.
Marty DePolo : Where's my turtle wax?
God's cousin Rod : Marty, don't you have someplace else to be?
Marty DePolo : Not really.
[to Laurie]
Marty DePolo : You gonna eat that salami?
God's cousin Rod : Go help Steve with the talent show!
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Kyle : Hello, Last Boy! Ha ha ha... Hey, I made a pun!
Steve Beauchamp : That wasn't a pun.
Kyle : What is it?
Steve Beauchamp : Er, unprovoked abuse?
Kyle : Fine by me. I'm outta here.
[starts to walk away]
Marty DePolo : Hey, have a nice trip!
[sticks out his foot and Kyle trips over it and goes sprawling across the floor]
Marty DePolo : Now THAT was a pun.
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Marty DePolo : All right, should I help him or shouldn't I? On the one hand, he really wants to do this for himself. On the other hand...
Steve Beauchamp : [being thrown by Kyle] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Marty DePolo : ...there's that.
[He jumps to his feet]
Marty DePolo : Kyle, by the awesome power of Heaven I give you an invisible wedgy.
[He pulls at the air and Kyle falls over clutching his bottom]
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Coach Fortner : Beauchamp, are you talking to thin air?
Steve Beauchamp : Uh...
Coach Fortner : Whatever floats your boat.
[waves to the air]
Coach Fortner : Good-bye, Steve's invisible friend.
Marty DePolo : Good-bye, Steve's hypertensive coach.
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God's cousin Rod : Steve's on the wrestling team but he can't beat his aunt Pam. What's wrong with this picture?
Marty DePolo : Well the contrast is a little off, and you only seem to be able to get this one channel, but I've got a cousin who could hook you up with a little box that...
God's cousin Rod : We don't steal cable in Heaven!
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Marty DePolo : [reading fan mail] Dear Teen Angel, how do I get out those water marks left by soda cans on my coffee table? That's easy. Use your magic powers. Thanks for writing.
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Marty DePolo : [during Grandpa Jerry and Grandma's Italian dinner] O sole mio... my car's a Geo... our busboy Leo... has a bad case of B.O.
