The Full Monty (1997)

Paul Barber: Horse

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dave : Well, I just pray they're a bit more understanding about us, that's all.

  Horse : You what?

  Dave : Well, they're going to be looking at us like that, aren't they, Eh? I mean, what if next Friday 400 women turn 'round and say "He's too fat, he's too old and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser."? What happens then, eh?

  Horse : They wouldn't say that, would they?

  Dave : Why not? He's just said her tits are too big.

  Lomper : That's different. We're... blokes.

  Dave : Yeah, and?

  Gerald : I think she's got nice tits, actually.

  Lomper : I never said owt about her personality, like. I mean, she's probably quite nice if you get to know her.

  Dave : No. And they won't say nowt about your personality neither. Which is good 'cause you're basically a bastard. Bollocks to your personality - this is what they're looking at, right? And I'll tell you summat, mate. Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.

• Horse : No, but... what I mean to say is... my willy...

  Lomper : *Your* willy? *My* willy!

• Gaz : So, uh, Horse... What can you do?

  Horse : I dunno, really... Let's see, there's the, uh... The bump, the stomp, the bus stop... Me breakdancing days are probably over, but there's always the funky chicken.

• Dole Clerk : Have you been actively looking for work in the last fortnight?

  Horse : Yes

  Dole Clerk : Have you done any work, paid or unpaid in the last fortnight?

  Horse : No

  Dole Clerk : That's not what I've heard

• Horse : No-one said anything to me about the full monty!

• Horse : I think I'm going to be sick

• Horse : Hey, you got some fit birds in there.

  Lomper : Nah, tits are too big.

  Horse : Yeah? Didn't know they could be.