Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (TV Movie 1997) Poster

(1997 TV Movie)

Rick Moranis: Wayne

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Robin Bartlett, Rick Moranis, Eve Gordon, and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Robin Bartlett, Rick Moranis, Eve Gordon, and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Robin Bartlett, Rick Moranis, Eve Gordon, and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Robin Bartlett, Rick Moranis, Eve Gordon, and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Robin Bartlett, Rick Moranis, Eve Gordon, and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Rick Moranis and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Rick Moranis and Eve Gordon in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Rick Moranis and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Rick Moranis in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Rick Moranis and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Rick Moranis and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997) Robin Bartlett, Rick Moranis, Eve Gordon, and Stuart Pankin in Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! (1997)

Quotes 

  • Gordon Szalinski : You are dead meat, mister!

    Wayne Szalinski : Gordon, you're three-quarters of an inch tall, now's not the time.

  • [Their answering machine message:] 

    Wayne Szalinski : You've reached the Szalinskis. At the sound of the beep, please leave your message, your fax, or your binary file.

  • Wayne Szalinski : Baseball's just a phase, it'll pass. But science is always cool.

  • [Climbing up a wicker chair] 

    Wayne Szalinski : Honey, at least you're getting some exercise.

    Diane Szalinski : Yeah. Now that I've got a wicker chair, I don't need to go to the gym anymore.

  • Wayne Szalinski : The kids are messy eaters, so there'll be plenty of crumbs for us to eat.

    Gordon Szalinski : Wayne, we're not gonna spend the rest of our lives tiny; we're going to get big again... somehow.

  • Wayne Szalinski : Diane, are you going to stay mad at me the whole time or are you going to try and make the best of this bad situation?

    Diane Szalinski : I'm going to stay mad at you the whole time.

  • [on the answering machine] 

    Wayne Szalinski : Guess what? Gordon and I got tickets to see the space shuttle-land tonight, so if it's okay, we're going to take off.

    Diane Szalinski : [picks up the phone]  No, Wayne. It is not OK! Patty and I are going on vacation. I must've told you this 15 times. Do you remember?

    Wayne Szalinski : Sure I remembered. But then I... forgot.

    Diane Szalinski : Well listen to me Wayne, and listen good. I am going on this vacation and nothing and no one can STOP ME!

    [hangs up] 

    Wayne Szalinski : [into the phone]  You *do* need a vacation...

  • [Landing in a laundry basket] 

    Wayne Szalinski : Honey, I don't think we're using enough fabric softener.

  • Wayne Szalinski : Your dad's invention is going to be in the Smithsonian alongside the gramophone!

    Adam Szalinski : What's a gramophone?

    Wayne Szalinski : An early record player.

    Adam Szalinski : What's a record player?

    Wayne Szalinski : An early CD player.

  • Wayne Szalinski : [greeting her and the robot-dog]  Hey, Tina. Hey, Trowser.

    Trina : Say hello, Trowser.

    Trowser : [barking]  Hello - hello.

    Wayne Szalinski : "Hello"?

    Trina : Turns out, that's what "woof" means.

  • [last lines] 

    Adam Szalinski : Hey, did you make any changes while I was gone?

    Wayne Szalinski : Well, I did move the Tiki Man into the backyard. What do you think?

  • Jill : This stuff is really good. What's in it?

    Wayne : [He and Gordon are all covered in onion dip sauce]  The Szalinski brothers!

    Gordon Szalinski : Yep.

  • Gordon Szalinski : [test-drinking the tequila to make his and Wayne's bodies glow]  Cheers.

    Wayne Szalinski : [at first doesn't realize]  It's not working. It's supposed to make my body glow.

    Gordon Szalinski : Mmm-hmm. Open your shirt.

    Wayne Szalinski : [lifts his shirt up]  Gee, is that my stomach?

    Gordon Szalinski : Yeah. And here's mine. The problem is, the liquid just stays in your gut. I don't know what to do.

    Wayne Szalinski : Well obviously, it's not getting enough absorbent in the bloodstream. Have you tried going through the calcium channel?

    Gordon Szalinski : The calcium channel?

    Wayne Szalinski : Yeah, and mix it with milk. That'll make it work. It's obvious.

    Gordon Szalinski : Hey, I'm not without ideas. I was gonna suggest making the highway workers wear tube tops.

  • Jenny Szalinski : [after all their moms left]  Now what?

    Wayne Szalinski : You guys are all guests in my house this weekend, and I want us to have a good time. So I planned a little kickoff surprise. We are gonna use marshmallows, and gumdrops, to make models of water molecules.

    [the kids briefly just stand there staring at Wayne like he's going crazy] 

    Wayne Szalinski : What do you think?

    Mitch Szalinski : You're a maniac, Uncle Wayne!

    Wayne Szalinski : [laughs]  I know. Anyway, we're going to put them together-- Oh darn, I forgot to get toothpicks. I'm gonna need you guys to run down to the mini-mart for me. How much do you think toothpicks cost?

    Jenny Szalinski : Oh, about 6 or 7 dollars a box.

    Wayne Szalinski : [gives Jenny a 10 dollar bill]  Well, here's a 10. If there's any change get yourselves some snacks. But see if you can get back within an hour or so, okay? For some molecule action.

    [the kids leave] 

    Gordon Szalinski : Wayne, that's not like you. You forgot to get toothpicks.

    [Wayne hysterically giggles] 

    Gordon Szalinski : What? What's so funny?

    Wayne Szalinski : It was just a ruse to get them out of the house.

    Gordon Szalinski : A ruse? Why?

    Wayne Szalinski : To save Tiki Man.

  • Wayne Szalinski : I gotta take the time to appreciate the world around me. I've been working too hard. I need to stop and notice things.

    Diane Szalinski : Really, like what?

    Wayne Szalinski : Well, like the intricate weave of this carpet... or the perfect cylindrical quality of this roach turd.

    Diane Szalinski : Roach turd?

    Wayne Szalinski : Not to worry. See it's dry. Whoever dropped this left a long time ago. Maybe weeks or months...

    Diane Szalinski : [to Patty]  We vacuum more than that.

    Wayne Szalinski : Nope, the only thing you gotta worry about is if you ran into...

    [pokes one that breaks open] 

    Wayne Szalinski : a wet one.

  • [Wayne and Gordon have carried the Tiki Man up the stairs into the attic] 

    Gordon Szalinski : The thing's only seven feet tall. Call me crazy, I think Diane might notice this.

    Wayne Szalinski : Not if I shrink it.

    [Wayne pulls a sheet off the refurbished shrinking machine] 

    Gordon Szalinski : Wow. The machine looks beautiful!

    Wayne Szalinski : Yeah. I got it out of mothballs and polished it up for the Smithsonian.

    [beat] 

    Wayne Szalinski : I'm gonna fire it up.

    [Wayne begins frantically flipping switches and pressing buttons] 

    Gordon Szalinski : Right.

    [realizes what Wayne's just said] 

    Gordon Szalinski : Oh, no. No, no! You're not gonna start it -- start it up again? You can't start it up again! You were banned from using this by a joint committee of the FDA and your wife!

    Wayne Szalinski : Is the FDA here? Is my wife here? I've made up my mind. I'm gonna shrink that Tiki Man so I can carry it with me always. Besides, it's a point of honor!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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