Danes Without a Clue (1997) User Reviews

The worst (Danish) movie of all time

[JesperT · 1/10 · 3 October 2001]

This is without a doubt the worst Danish movie I have ever seen. Even the two main actors, Timm Vladimir and Gordon Kenedy did not attend the opening of the movie as they disliked the result - and only 4000 people saw it in the theatres.

The movie was initiated without the screen play being completed, and the result is not surprisingly a movie with no plot, based around the two "superstars", Jim and Morten. During the entire movie they run around like headless chickens with no purpose in life except to annoy the viewer. They are supported by a line of other (just as annoying) characters, who likewise serve no purpose.

The movie has won several "worst movie of the year" awards in Denmark, and it will be in strong contention for "worst movie of the first 100 years' of movie making".

I had to wait for the ending credits for my first and only (short) "laugh", and it is not even remotely funny in a cult-sort of way.

Some find "Naked Gun" funny, others prefer "Monthy Python", however, I have not come across one person who had anything positive to say about this movie - and it is not worth checking if I am right. Those 1 hour and 19 minutes of your life will be gone forever.

Not much to say; There is no worse way to waste one and a half our.

[Kynde · 1/10 · 28 August 2000]

This is ultimately the worst movie I have ever wasted my time on. I only saw it, because I heard so many say that it was the most terrible movie ever to come out of Denmark. And boy they where right. Less than 800 people went to see it in the cinema, and most of these had received the tickets for free. It was bad enough on TV, but it most have been terrible on the big screen. I have read that the two leads Tim and Gordon really have regretted this movie, and publicly have called it a bad decision. I can understand that. The plot? The acting? The cinematography? It is not so much that it is bad, it is horrible.

I'm only happy that I knew what to expect, so it did not come as a surprise. 1 out of 10. (But only because you cannot vote ½)

Disaster

[Apogee_ · 1/10 · 9 August 2002]

Horrible movie in every single aspect of film making. There's absolutely NOTHING good about this. When I first heard about it, and how bad it was, I thought there might be a chance that it could be a "so bad it's funny movie", but it's not. It's just not funny; it's boring, plotless and just plain stupid. For any curious foreign readers, I can tell you that Timm and Gordon, were a comedy duo that had some cult status in the mid 90's here in Denmark. Apparently, some guy thought that they were popular enough that he could make a stupid movie about them, and earn some easy money. But it was also a complete failure on this part. It's fitting that the title of the movie is called "Stjerner uden hjerne", which means "Stars without brains". On a little side note, the movie has more or less been claimed the worst movie in Danish history, but a line from that movie has also been called the worst line in Danish history.

"My grandfather did play a lot of saw when I was a kid." - Timm, on being asked how he got interested in music.

Embarrassing.

[McBuff · 1/10 · 19 February 2001]

Totally unfunny "comedy" starring stand up comedians Timm & Gordon as two braindead tv-stars out to make a movie. The laughs are non-existent in this mercifully short, but boring mega-bomb, which was deservedly ignored at the box office, released on video shortly after its brief theatrical runnings. Hard to tell who gives the worst performance here, but who cares anyway? Henrik Lykkegaard looks genuinely embarrassed, and Timm & Gordon publicly disowned this worthless timewaster.

This movie reaches new heights .. in crappyness

[CeeJayDK · 1/10 · 21 April 2002]

This movie so thoroughly deserves being on the TOP 100 of the worst movies ( or bottom 100 depending on how you look at it )

It REALLY stinks. The only thing I find amusing about this movie is that even Gordon Kennedy , one of the lead actors, said in an interview that he wished he had never made that movie and warned people against seeing it.

A piece of crap

[HunterDK · 3/10 · 29 January 2002]

I have watched this movie, and I have actually watched it more than once. The first time I saw the whole movie, but since I have watched parts of the movie two or three times.

I agree with the people who say this movie is a piece of crap, but I wouldn't call it the worst movie ever. I laughed several times, but it wasn't because of the jokes in the movie. I was laughing because someone could make such a stupid movie, and because of the extremely bad acting and poor jokes.

"Stjerner uden Hjerner" deserves 3/10 because you can laugh a few times during the movie. I have watched a movie where you couldn't even laugh once, so if you are looking for the worst movie ever, then you should watch "The Creature Wasn't Nice" with Leslie Nielsen.

We all fell asleep

[teikill · 1/10 · 23 December 2001]

Knowing that this is one of the worst movies of all times, we had great expectations when one of our tv-channels for some reason showed this piece of art yesterday.

After 45 minutes we all fell asleep, me, my wife and my kids. There was nothing funny in this so-called comedy, not even unintentionally (like in "Plan 9" i.e). This was just boring, boring, boring.

The worst film ever made

[Matt-126 · 1/10 · 24 October 1998]

This is the ultimate bad movie and that's all that has to be said. This can be documented by looking at how many people actually saw this film. I can't tell the exact number, but it was something between 1000 and 1500.

After watching this film I was left the same feeling I would expect you might get, if you'd just witnessed somebody count every single hair on his head – twice.

[phasmida · 2/10 · 4 December 2005]

Everything there is to say about this film has already been said: It sucks. It really, truly sucks. There is nothing funny what so ever about this movie. I was bored out of my mind when I watched it. There is no way a professional scriptwriter could write such a peace-of-crap manuscript, without noticing that something (or everything) was wrong. Not even the use of heavy drugs would be an acceptable excuse. I won't even try to explain the story (not that there's much to explain). The reason why I have even posted this review is that I was fundamentally shocked by the fact that a film like this could even be produced. And it's not that it is provoking or anything, it's just 79 minuets of nothing. After watching this film I was left the same feeling I would expect you might get, if you'd just witnessed somebody count every single hair on his head – twice. A complete and utter waste of time

It is with out a doubt the worst movie I have ever seen. Many poor films are hilarious do to the unintended comic of bad acting and ridiculous scripts. But not this film. This film is just stupid. Plane and simple. No sorry. No point. No nothing.