Suicide Kings (1997)

Jay Mohr: Brett Cambell

Photos 

Quotes 

• [They let Charlie go] 

  Brett Campbell : What the fuck? I leave the room for two minutes and you guys roll over like 5 dollar whores! You have a drink with the guy and next thing you know he's best man at your wedding! What the fuck did he do when I was in the other room, sprinkle fairy dust up your skirts?

• Brett Campbell : Listen, Charlie. Whatever condition Elise is returned home in is the exact same condition you will be returned to your home. If she loses an eye, you lose an eye. If she loses an ear, you get to lose an ear. If she gets hurt, you will be hurt. Listen to me, by saving Lisa you get to save yourself.

• Ira Reder : [as Brett picks up the phone to dial]  It will show up on my old man's bill.

  Brett Campbell : Ira, you're unbelievable. What do you want, a fucking quarter?

  Ira Reder : He will know we were here!

  Brett Campbell : [smashes vase]  Well, you know what, now he's gonna know we were here anyway!

  Ira Reder : It's an aniversary present!

  Brett Campbell : Good, fag. Pick it up.

• [after it is revealed that both Avery and Max were involved in Elise's kidnapping] 

  Lono Veccio : Charlie, what do you want me to do?

  Charlie Barret : Shoot...

  T.K. : No!

  Charlie Barret : [points]  ... him.

  [Lono shoots Brett in the leg. Brett goes down, screaming] 

  Brett Campbell : Aw, fuck, why *me*?

  Charlie Barret : [re: his own kidnapping]  It was *your* idea, Dunsky!

• Brett Campbell : You're pretty funny for a guy with nine fingers.

• Brett Campbell : [as they argue over who will help Charlie take a piss]  All right. Since I'm in charge, fuck it, Max, you do it.

  Max Minot : Fuck that, I'm not doing it. Avery, you can do it.

  Avery Chasten : No, I'm not doing it.

  Charlie Barret : Guys, It's my dick, I pick.

• Charlie Barret : A number of times, the only thing that kept me out of a satin box was I could size up the other guy maybe half a second quicker than he could me.

  Brett Campbell : [laughing]  What the fuck are you talking about? You're taped to a chair! He saw us coming a mile away at the Plaza! Didn't you?

  Charlie Barret : [laughing]  I admit I'm out of practice.

• Avery Chasten : He had nothing to do with Elise's kidnapping, he had nothing to do with it. Can't you understand that? He didnt do anything!

  Brett Campbell : It doesn't matter! They're all alike! Whoever did the actual kidnapping... It's a fucking technicality!

  Max Minot : You're good. Look that up in the Constitution.

  Brett Campbell : Max, shut up.