Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

Jay Paulson: X-Phile #2

Quotes 

• X-Phile 1 : [Leaving William's basement]  Do you think there will be any girls there?

  X-Phile 2 : [Looks at him with an annoyed look as he carries the ladder]  Are you kidding me? People may be even having sex tonight!

• X-Phile 1 : [after reenacting a lightsaber duel from The Empire Strikes Back]  Hey! Luke doesn't push Vader!

  X-Phile 2 : Well he should've. I mean, the guy cut his hand off.

• William : [Discussing "The Plan" with the X-Philes]  Okay, you're Boba Fett, and you're Grand Moff Tarkin.

  X-Phile 1 : How come he gets to be Boba Fett?

  William : Ok, fine, *you're* Boba Fett, and *you're* Grand Moff Tarkin.

  X-Phile 2 : I don't want to be Grand Moff Tarkin!

  William : All right, fine, you know what? You're both KISS dolls!

• X-Phile 1 : I'm telling you, that patch of sky right up there above those powerlines is like a superhighway for UFO activity.

  X-Phile 2 : [sighs]  Yeah, right. I wonder how William's doing at the party. I just hope he isn't having any trouble blending in.

  [cut to a very drunk William, at the center of attention, downing coutless shots of liquor to show off to a crowd] 

  William : [to himself]  Isn't there something I was supposed to do tonight?

• [holding up a card] 

  William : I downloaded this little baby off the Net. I will know exactly how many spirits I may imbibe without affecting my judgment or my behavior.

  X-Phile 2 : You have every angle covered.

  X-Phile 1 : You know William, from this light, you somewhat resemble David Duchovny.

• X-Phile 1 : Hey, isn't this the weekend that you're supposed to meet your girlfriend from the Internet?

  X-Phile 2 : Yeah, but she has, uh, some photo shoot in Fiji for a catalog or something.

  [shakes his head] 

  X-Phile 1 : Oh, man. That sucks.

  X-Phile 2 : Yeah. I guess that's just the price you pay for dating Christy Turlington.