The Out-of-Towners (1999)

John Cleese: Mr. Mersault

Photos 

Quotes 

• Henry Clark : Do you know what your problem is?

  Mr. Mersault : No, what's my problem?

  Henry Clark : You live here. You're jaded. What you need is a fresh perspective from an outsider from say Ooo-hio! Because you have forgotten just how amazing this city is. I have had more experiences in this city than many people who have lived here their whole lives. I mean, I met colorful characters. I've taken a breathtaking cab ride through Central Park. I climbed to the top of a luxury hotel. Not in the elevator, actually on the hotel. And then, I fell - in love with my wife all over again at Tavern on the Green, on the actual green itself. And - and then I had *sex* in front of the Mayor! I mean, where else can something like this happen? Only in New York!

  Mr. Mersault : What did you just say?

  Henry Clark : You mean the whole thing or the tag line for your new campaign, "Only In New York"? Which, incidentally, I copyrighted just before I came up here, along with the visual of the Statue of Liberty giving the high five to a family of tourists.

  Bill : Oh, this guy's very good.

  Henry Clark : Can I have a doughnut?

• Henry Clark : You're throwing us out?

  Mr. Mersault : Good heavens, no. Security will do that.

• Mr. Mersault : Mrs. Wellstone, I just love those shoes. Don't break my heart and tell me they're not real leopard.

• Mr. Mersault : How was Monte Carlo?

  Mrs. Wellstone : Oh, it would not stop raining.

  Mr. Mersault : Damn the French!

• Mr. Mersault : [singing]  Bad girls, Talking 'bout the sad girl, Sad girl, Talking 'bout bad, bad girls, yeah...

• Mr. Mersault : Oh! All right, all right. Don't get your knickers in a twist. Look. Can't a girl have some fun? I could've danced all night.

• Mr. Mersault : Mrs. Clark, let me explain. If you are a paying guest at this hotel, I fawn, I grovel. I am, in fact, your very plaything. But if you're not a guest, you do not exist.

• Mr. Mersault : Such a good idea to get a head start to the airport. Visit those fine shops. Get to know a Hare Krishna, perhaps.

• [last lines] 

  Mr. Mersault : Isn't the theater magical? What?

  Nancy Clark : Are those my earrings?

  Mr. Mersault : Bravo! Bravo!