Ernest in the Army (1998)

Jim Varney: Pvt. Ernest P. Worrell, Army Captain, Arab on Quicksand

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ernest P. Worrell : A real soldier wouldn't leave those people. And ironically, neither would I.

• Ernest P. Worrell : I am poultry in motion.

• Ernest P. Worrell : Poisoned barbed wire. A feeble attempt to frighten lesser minds.

• Ernest P. Worrell : The desert sun certainly has an adverse effect on chocolate milk.

• Ernest P. Worrell : Gosh Ben, you never let me do anything, ever since we were kids.

  Sarge : I let you do stuff.

  Ernest P. Worrell : What kind of stuff?

  Sarge : ...Stuff.

  Ernest P. Worrell : Well okay, stuff, but you never let drive.

• Ernest P. Worrell : Army people, army people, army army army people.

• Cindy : Are you a mirage?

  Ernest P. Worrell : No ma'am, Southern Baptist.

• Ernest P. Worrell : I learned CPR on Oprah!