Dr. Seuss on the Loose (1973 TV Movie)

Hans Conried: Narrator, Sneetch by the Bonfire, North-Going Zax, South-Going Zax, Fox

Quotes 

• Narrator : Well of course, the world didn't stand still. The world grew. In a couple of years, the new highway came through. And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax, and left them there standing, unbudged in their tracks.

• Narrator : They kept them away. Never let them come near. / And that's how they treated them, year after year. / They got snorted. They got snooted. / Their bottoms got booted, / While the Star-Bellied Sneetches all taunted and hooted...

  Sneetch : They just are not suited!

  Sneetch , Sneetch , Sneetch : No stars upon thars!

• Narrator : But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches would brag...

  Sneetch : We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.

  Narrator : With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort. They'd have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!

• Narrator : All the rest of that day, on those wild screaming beaches, the Fix-It-Up Chappie kept fixing up Sneetches. Off again! On again! In again! Out again! Through the machines they raced round and about again, changing their stars every minute or two. They kept paying money. They kept running through until the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew whether this one was that one or that one was this one or which one was what one... or what one was who.

• Narrator : Then, when every last cent of their money was spent, the Fix-It-Up Chappie packed up. And he went. And he laughed as he drove in his car up the beach...

  Sylvester McMonkey McBean : They never will learn. No. You can't teach a Sneetch!

  Narrator : But McBean was quite wrong. I'm quite happy to say that the Sneetches got really quite smart on that day. The day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches, and no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches. That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars and whether they had one, or not, upon thars.

• Narrator : Then, the North-Going Zax said with North-Going pride...

  North-Going Zax : I never have taken a step to one side, and I'll prove to you that I won't change my ways if I have to keep standing here 59 days!

  South-Going Zax : And I'll prove to *you*...

  Narrator : Yelled the South-Going Zax...

  South-Going Zax : That I can stand here in the Prairie of Prax for 59 years! For I lived by a rule, that I learned as a boy back in South-Going School, "Never budge." That's my rule. "Never budge in the least. Not an inch to the west, not an inch to the east." I'll stand here not budging. I can, and I will, if it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!

• Narrator : One day, making tracks in the prairie of Prax, came a North-Going Zax. A North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax. A North-Going Zax and a South-Going Zax. And it happened that both of them came to a place where they bumped. There they stood. Foot to foot. Face to face.

  North-Going Zax : Look here now!

  Narrator : ...the North-Going Zax said.

  North-Going Zax : Hey, say! You are blocking my path. You are right in my way. I'm a North-Going Zax and I always go north. Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!

  South-Going Zax : Who's in whose way?

  Narrator : ...snapped the South-Going Zax.

  South-Going Zax : I always go south, making south-going tracks. So you're in MY way! And I ask you to move and let me go south in my south-going groove.

• [first lines] 

  Narrator : The Cat in the Hat...

  Cat in the Hat : That's me!

  Narrator : ...presents: "Dr. Seuss on the Loose". A three-decker consisting of one, "The Sneetches", two, "The Zax", three, "Green Eggs and Ham".