Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001)

Richard Ruccolo: Pete Dunville

Photos 

Quotes 

• Pete : Ashley, if you're here, who's running hell?

• Berg : Just remember that my eye drop experiments paid for that sofa.

  Pete : Berg, what color would you say that sofa is?

  Berg : I dunno... blue?

• Pete : Berg, what you need is a little reenactment. Sharon? Would you like to play the part of Ashley?

  Sharon : Oh, yes... no... yes... no.

  [to Pete] 

  Sharon : I'm getting into character.

• Sharon Carter : Can I talk to you guys for a second?

  [storms past them] 

  Berg : She knows.

  Pete : She does?

  Berg : Play dumb.

  Pete : We are dumb.

  [they walk over to Sharon] 

  Sharon Carter : Are you guys nuts?

  Berg : [flipping a page on his notepad]  I'm Nuts. This is my partner, Pretzels.

  Pete : What seems to be the problem, ma'am?

• Berg : [about his use of an asthma inhaler]  You know how they always say not to exceed the recommended daily dosage?

  Pete : Yeah?

  Berg : Well I'm the guy... who exceeds it so they know why *you* shouldn't.

• Pete : Berg, I'm just not cut out to be a good person.

  Berg : I know. That's why the Lord gave us good looks.

• Pete : Berg, you can't sleep in my bed, people talk enough as it is. Go sleep on the couch.

  Berg : I can't sleep on the couch. Last week I spilled milk on it and for some reason it smells bad.

  Pete : So go sleep on the floor!

  Berg : I can't sleep on the floor.

  Pete : Why not?

  Berg : For some reason there's a trail of ants leading to the couch.

• Sharon Carter : Actually, we're engaged "in theory."

  Pete : Oh, that's great, congratulations. I'd explain it to Collette if I spoke French, and understood what you were talking about.

  Sharon Carter : Why is everyone having such a tough time with this? It's very simple - an engagement is a promise to be married. and I am promising to be engaged, which in theory is a promise to be married, hence we are engaged in theory.

  Johnny Donnelly : Good luck finding a card for that.

• Berg : I don't like you being mad at me.

  Pete : I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me. Berg, I'm gonna be 25 and I don't even know where my life is - and the one good thing I had, I messed up. When my dad was my age, he had a house, he had a wife, he had me. I mean, what do I have?

  Berg : You have the ability to suck the life out of an evening.

• Pete : Irene, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you handle never winning.

• Ashley : Well, a strong enough wind could blow it right over.

  Pete : [laughs]  What, are you kiddin' me? You're a med student. What the hell do you know about architecture?

  Ashley : Well, my father's an architect.

  Pete : Yeah, well, my mother's a woman, but that doesn't mean I understand them.

  Sharon : It's true, he really doesn't.

• Berg : Y'know, Turner and Hooch were talking earlier, and they said something very intriguing.

  Pete : Don't quote your shoes.

  Berg : "Stay close to the leader, or the race is lost."

  Pete : What do you think they meant by that?

  Berg : No idea. I'm gonna take them for a walk in the park, try and get it out of them.

• Pete : I'm twenty-five, why are you telling people I'm thirty?

  Berg : You get better presents.

• Berg : Sharon hasn't been around all week, so I couldn't score stamps.

  Pete : Oh. Oh, well listen... I'll give you the name of her connection -the post office!