Well, I feel like quite the sucker, don't I? Let me just start off by pointing out that Goremet Zombie Chef From Hell is a truly awesome title for a B-movie. That is not my opinion, that is an undisputed fact. If only I could think of one positive quality this film has going for it, then maybe I could feel like a little less of a fool for actually paying money for this steaming pile of awful. It's not like I expected a hell of a lot, but I had planned on buying it from Amazon for a long time, all the while, assuming some outlandish cult cinema awaited me. Now, I just feel like a moron for putting that much thought into it. I sat through the whole thing, and I honestly can't think of one word uttered, one plot twist, one single thing that happened. Just a bunch of talking. However, I did notice the music from the beginning. The very much stolen music, which is what gets under my skin the most, because I can't think of what movie it's from. So, that's it, eh? A title like that, and all I get is a bunch of talking, and an irritating mystery? It just never occurred to anyone to give something, to, somehow, back the title up with something to make someone, anyone want to watch this disappointment. By the way, if you're waiting for a description of this movie, it ain't happening. You got to watch out for these awesome-titled disappointments. Not too long ago, I came across a dud called Please Don't Eat The Babies. An intriguing title to say the least, so, naturally, I expected some form of outlandish humor, but no, not even close. And yeah, I am a little embarrassed by some of my recent choices for B-entertainment, but not nearly as much as some of these directors should be. Oh well, that's what I get for buying rare, low-budget Horror movies based only on the fact that they're rare. My advice would be to forget all about the Boremet sleep-aid from Hell, and go seek out something more worth while, like Teen Ape Goes To Camp, or Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. I don't know, you'd probably be better off not taking my advice, and just deciding for yourself. Just know, if you pursue this movie, you will regret it. 1/10
20 Reviews
This movie is in a class of its own.
nhlgumby8 April 2002
I love the movie store near me. They have such a huge selection of horror movies that I can close my eyes and run up and down the aisle with my finger running across the boxes, and stop on a random movie that is sure to please. This being my first attempt at a new form of movie selection, I am skeptical of whether or not I should continue it. This movie wasn't too pleasant of an experience. If all the other movies I rent in my random method turn out to be like this, I will soon be holding therapy sessions for traumatized victims like myself, who paid to watch homemade movies. But that's not the issue here. The issue is the movie. On with the movie!
I'll start with the TITLE. I think this Swan guy just wanted to throw every shock word into one long phrase because he thought it would make the movie attractive. It has "Gore", "Zombie", "Chef" and "Hell" in the title. What else does a really poorly made movie need? He could have thrown in "Deadly" or "Killer" just for the heck of it. Ok, so we've got a dumb title to start. Now we're on a roll.
Next we need a PLOT. Who am I kidding, no we don't. All we need is a guy killing people, claiming to eat them, but instead is serving them to other people. Also, throw in some talk of an ancient "brother hood" and a couple people wearing cloaks and there's your "plot."
After plot comes ACTORS! Nope. Wrong again. Oh, but don't mistake me. Actors SHOULD come next, but that doesn't happen here. And don't get me wrong again, there are people in this movie, but they're not actors. No, they're more like people slouching, people talking like they would on the street (emotionless), people wearing the same color sweat suit, people who take a drink of beer and then sit still even though the camera is still looking at them, people who have their heads knocked off... you know, those kind of people. The kind of people who could only live in a movie like this. Ok, so we struck out on actors. Maybe the next topic will bring some luck.
So, after actors comes SCRIPT. Ok, yes, there was a script in this movie, I'll give them that. I can tell there was a script, because people can't think and talk the way they did unless someone told them what to say. Normal speaking comes much more naturally than the speaking in this movie. That means a script was devised, even though it was obviously beyond the capability of the people who had speaking parts.
Ok, so we got a movie called "Gore-Met Zombie Chef from Hell." We've got a guy who kills people, nibbles at them and then cooks the rest for dumb people to eat. We've got people pulled off the street to stand around, drink some beer and then stand around some more. We've got choppy dialogue that in itself is not worth going over. What else do we need?
GORE EFFECTS!!! Yes, gore effects will complete this movie! Throw a plastic foot/hand/leg or arm into a bowl. Next take a squeeze thingy of stage blood and pour that into the bowl and shake. Voila! Gore effects! What more could you ask for? And as the kicker, have a guy get his head knocked off and some big fat man put his face into the squirting blood. Yep. That's how you complete a movie.
So what else is there to say about this movie? Not much. I covered almost everything. I chose to leave the camera work out of this because I would run out of space ranting about how bad it was. My opinion about the movie? Frankly, I thought it was the poorest made movie I have ever seen. I have taped of my friend throwing up half a gallon of chocolate milk and I am willing to say that that was made better. But then again, as I always say, this is just my opinion and if you don't like what I've said, I don't care. Good day gentlemen.
-Scott-
I'll start with the TITLE. I think this Swan guy just wanted to throw every shock word into one long phrase because he thought it would make the movie attractive. It has "Gore", "Zombie", "Chef" and "Hell" in the title. What else does a really poorly made movie need? He could have thrown in "Deadly" or "Killer" just for the heck of it. Ok, so we've got a dumb title to start. Now we're on a roll.
Next we need a PLOT. Who am I kidding, no we don't. All we need is a guy killing people, claiming to eat them, but instead is serving them to other people. Also, throw in some talk of an ancient "brother hood" and a couple people wearing cloaks and there's your "plot."
After plot comes ACTORS! Nope. Wrong again. Oh, but don't mistake me. Actors SHOULD come next, but that doesn't happen here. And don't get me wrong again, there are people in this movie, but they're not actors. No, they're more like people slouching, people talking like they would on the street (emotionless), people wearing the same color sweat suit, people who take a drink of beer and then sit still even though the camera is still looking at them, people who have their heads knocked off... you know, those kind of people. The kind of people who could only live in a movie like this. Ok, so we struck out on actors. Maybe the next topic will bring some luck.
So, after actors comes SCRIPT. Ok, yes, there was a script in this movie, I'll give them that. I can tell there was a script, because people can't think and talk the way they did unless someone told them what to say. Normal speaking comes much more naturally than the speaking in this movie. That means a script was devised, even though it was obviously beyond the capability of the people who had speaking parts.
Ok, so we got a movie called "Gore-Met Zombie Chef from Hell." We've got a guy who kills people, nibbles at them and then cooks the rest for dumb people to eat. We've got people pulled off the street to stand around, drink some beer and then stand around some more. We've got choppy dialogue that in itself is not worth going over. What else do we need?
GORE EFFECTS!!! Yes, gore effects will complete this movie! Throw a plastic foot/hand/leg or arm into a bowl. Next take a squeeze thingy of stage blood and pour that into the bowl and shake. Voila! Gore effects! What more could you ask for? And as the kicker, have a guy get his head knocked off and some big fat man put his face into the squirting blood. Yep. That's how you complete a movie.
So what else is there to say about this movie? Not much. I covered almost everything. I chose to leave the camera work out of this because I would run out of space ranting about how bad it was. My opinion about the movie? Frankly, I thought it was the poorest made movie I have ever seen. I have taped of my friend throwing up half a gallon of chocolate milk and I am willing to say that that was made better. But then again, as I always say, this is just my opinion and if you don't like what I've said, I don't care. Good day gentlemen.
-Scott-
I'm embarrassed to even be commenting on this one.
Zbigniew_Krycsiwiki30 June 2011
A 600-years-old, Hawai'ian shirt wearing, bicycle-riding cannibal with spots goes through the usual motions at a small restaurant in Jerkwaterburg, USA, as background extras overact outrageously in this camcorder-quality crapfest.
The way the title appears on-screen, in green/ red lettering, makes this look like a Christmas movie.
They tried so desperately hard to make this horror/ comedy into an instant cult/ camp classic along the lines of Motel Hell --- with dialogue so over-the-top that it is painful; lengthy mastershots of girls sitting at tables in restaurants and on park benches, waiting for background extras to remember that they are supposed to walk in front of the camera for the scene to begin; rubbery and plastic-looking effects, such as a guy punching a cop's head so hard that is flies off his neck, he then proceeds to drink the blood spurting from his neck (the makers of this either couldn't afford sound effects or couldn't decide what that should sound like, as there is no sound to this scene) ; with hoodies and sweatshirts standing in for sacramental robes; nonsensical addition of ugly topless girls endlessly gyrating to bad dance numbers, which helps to pad out the film's brief running time; the Anton Lavey-wannabe chef pompously expostulating about something called The Holy Order Of The Righteous Brotherhood; not to mention the film's over-the-top (and completely nonsensical) title itself ---and failed so miserably. The fact is, this is merely Super-8 home movies filmed in city parks and in people's garages, on a budget which could not have been $500.
This might be worth a watch (or at least a partial watch, anyway) just for unintentional laughs, and a scant few intentional laughs which survive the slaughter. Just don't expect this to be a great so-bad-it's-good flick, because it isn't, really. I somehow found this little oddity as a horror movie-obsessed teenager (where the hell did I find this one?) and was intrigued by its title and garish video box cover artwork, and was I ever disappointed with it. I found my copy of it recently in a box and thought I would give it one last rewatch before binning it, but now I'm thinking I might anonymously mail it to someone I don't like.
The way the title appears on-screen, in green/ red lettering, makes this look like a Christmas movie.
They tried so desperately hard to make this horror/ comedy into an instant cult/ camp classic along the lines of Motel Hell --- with dialogue so over-the-top that it is painful; lengthy mastershots of girls sitting at tables in restaurants and on park benches, waiting for background extras to remember that they are supposed to walk in front of the camera for the scene to begin; rubbery and plastic-looking effects, such as a guy punching a cop's head so hard that is flies off his neck, he then proceeds to drink the blood spurting from his neck (the makers of this either couldn't afford sound effects or couldn't decide what that should sound like, as there is no sound to this scene) ; with hoodies and sweatshirts standing in for sacramental robes; nonsensical addition of ugly topless girls endlessly gyrating to bad dance numbers, which helps to pad out the film's brief running time; the Anton Lavey-wannabe chef pompously expostulating about something called The Holy Order Of The Righteous Brotherhood; not to mention the film's over-the-top (and completely nonsensical) title itself ---and failed so miserably. The fact is, this is merely Super-8 home movies filmed in city parks and in people's garages, on a budget which could not have been $500.
This might be worth a watch (or at least a partial watch, anyway) just for unintentional laughs, and a scant few intentional laughs which survive the slaughter. Just don't expect this to be a great so-bad-it's-good flick, because it isn't, really. I somehow found this little oddity as a horror movie-obsessed teenager (where the hell did I find this one?) and was intrigued by its title and garish video box cover artwork, and was I ever disappointed with it. I found my copy of it recently in a box and thought I would give it one last rewatch before binning it, but now I'm thinking I might anonymously mail it to someone I don't like.
not even worth the $1.50 it cost to make
chaosnbeer3 June 2002
NO ONE loves horrible cheesy movies more than me , but this was beyond enjoyably bad to just irritating. The music ..oh my ears the music was reason enough for me to vomit during the viewing of this. This has no enjoyable moments , and nothing funny either. It's so horrible. Also the video box stated "Too Violent To Rate"..umm yeah maybe if it was produced by Disney...no blood , no guts , and the only scene with nudity featured the god awful music and annoying dancing..i need to wash my eyes out with acid.
This movie isn't any better than the title.
UnratedX23 April 1999
I've only got two words to adequately describe this movie, "Low Budget!" Distributed by CAMP VIDEO (another cheap and unknown low budget company), this nearly horrible film is about a man named Goza, who is a member of a brotherhood back in the B.C. era, and after assassinating a high priest, he's cursed to live the rest of his life as a mortal, with his servant, Blozar, serving the community with his bar/deli restaurant where his sauces are secret and where dining out can be a permanent experience. In order to keep on living, Goza and Blozar must drink the blood and eat the flesh of the living. The movie is filmed cheaply (looks like it was shot very poorly with a cam-corder) and the acting sucks. The gore effects are not exactly the best, but the film does have its moments. If you're a fan of horror, gore, and extremely rare films of this genre, then this movie could be worth a look, if you can find it anywhere. UnratedX
The total cost of this movie was a camcorder, tape and batteries
mboettc120 December 1999
This movie is by far the worst one I have ever paid for. It looked like a group of out of work actors decided to pass the time by dressing up and filming each other. Please help me find the plot...I was too busy laughing at the special-effects to notice one. If anyone rents this movie do so understanding it is humorous at best - it should be free!
Please don't watch this junk
Coventry20 December 2009
"Goremet" is an amateurish no-budget fan boy production that I thought (or hoped) would be gory and sleazy, but actually it's just very pathetic and boring. If you're going to bring homage to the genre of horror without any money or equipment to work with, at least making something that is fun and entertaining, like "The Dead Next Door" or "Bad Taste" for example. This is boring trash and easily one of the most unendurable things I've ever witnessed in my life. 85% of the film, and it's not even a very long one, is dull padding material like exaggeratedly overlong dance sequences and the showing of naked breasts of really unattractive women. There's absolutely no valid reason for "Goremet – Zombie Chef from Hell" to exist. The acting and directing are atrocious, the lighting and sound handling are embarrassing (for example: the sound of crickets overwhelms the sound of dialogs) and there isn't a single moment in the entire film that qualifies as even remotely memorable. There actually only are seven or eight scenes in the whole film and they're stretched endlessly. Also, even though it's barely a four-word title, I can name at least three things that are wrong with it. The titular character is not a zombie, he's definitely not from hell and he isn't even a real chef. He's more like a cocktail mixer who occasionally prepares snacks. I won't even bother annoying you with a plot summary for two reasons: A) because it's nonsensical rubbish and B) because I'm trying to forget it myself. This film is extreme torture and literally impossible to sit through without the consumption of heavy drugs.
The "priests" in sweatshirts rock!
snstrx16 August 2002
Warning: Spoilers
The movie is worth watching if for no other reason than the scene where Blozor punches through the health inspector's head. By the way, Goza wasn't killed and then brought back as a chef. He was cursed with a "living death" where he needed to feast on human flesh to remain whole. He set up the restaurant as a front.
Highlights of this Film:
gorebagkiller8 March 2005
This movie is hilarious! 1- The "Priestly Powers" (kind of like Darth Vaders force Chokehold, but A lot crappier) 2- The Craziest Synthesizer Soundtrack ever.
3- The Mannequin Leg.
4- The Scene where "Goatza" is dancing with some strippers and clearly is pitching a tent and trying to hide it.
5- Goatza, Blozar, and whatever other ridiculous name is used in this film.
If you like films along the lines of Troll 2, Creepers, Paganini Horror, and Ice Cream Man, you will absolutely LOVe this film, I highly suggest it be viewed by everyone.
3- The Mannequin Leg.
4- The Scene where "Goatza" is dancing with some strippers and clearly is pitching a tent and trying to hide it.
5- Goatza, Blozar, and whatever other ridiculous name is used in this film.
If you like films along the lines of Troll 2, Creepers, Paganini Horror, and Ice Cream Man, you will absolutely LOVe this film, I highly suggest it be viewed by everyone.
Dreadful
brooke_gaylene24 November 2013
Lame script + bad story + pointless scenes + horrid score + no lighting + bad quality + poor effects + lack of suspense + little horror + some nudity but not worth mentioning + people giving it 10 stars + almost incoherent sound + the whole thing presented very badly = in the bottom 3 movie I have ever seen.
Thank goodness most the people involved in this never made anything else. I know this is low budget even for 1986 but was still dreadful quality and no excuse for bad acting and script.
I gave 1 star for the accidentally amusing nude dancing scene and for actually making a little bit of an effort to make a movie. lol
Thank goodness most the people involved in this never made anything else. I know this is low budget even for 1986 but was still dreadful quality and no excuse for bad acting and script.
I gave 1 star for the accidentally amusing nude dancing scene and for actually making a little bit of an effort to make a movie. lol
It's just another lame no budget movie made with a cheap camera
themysticmoth16 November 2007
There's nothing special about it. It's not unique. I have seen several hack jobs with cheap cameras. It gets old. Yes, this is from the 80's where the B movie is king. But you can't like a movie just because it's a "B movie" and rare. It doesn't make you "cool" or intelligent just because you can appreciate the crap that no one else cares about.
All I have to say is: To anyone who feels bad about not being able to "enjoy" this movie. You should be thankful. There is no artistic merit to this piece of garbage. I bought this movie at a flea market for three dollars, about eight years ago. After watching this pathetic attempt, I was not only confused by the lack of plot and why there were strippers, but I do not recall the main character ever actually eating anyone. Did he? It wasn't even funny. I've seen a lot of bad zombie and cannibal movies but this one is beyond bad. I think the people who made this movie had to be on something if they thought it was a good idea to have this distributed. I have only seen two copies of this movie. But I hated it so much that I recorded over my copy in fear that if I die, someone might find it and decide to watch it. I thought I'd prevent others from wasting their time on this crap. It's the only movie that I've done that to. If, for some screwed up reason one day it becomes worth a lot of money, I will still have no regrets.
All I have to say is: To anyone who feels bad about not being able to "enjoy" this movie. You should be thankful. There is no artistic merit to this piece of garbage. I bought this movie at a flea market for three dollars, about eight years ago. After watching this pathetic attempt, I was not only confused by the lack of plot and why there were strippers, but I do not recall the main character ever actually eating anyone. Did he? It wasn't even funny. I've seen a lot of bad zombie and cannibal movies but this one is beyond bad. I think the people who made this movie had to be on something if they thought it was a good idea to have this distributed. I have only seen two copies of this movie. But I hated it so much that I recorded over my copy in fear that if I die, someone might find it and decide to watch it. I thought I'd prevent others from wasting their time on this crap. It's the only movie that I've done that to. If, for some screwed up reason one day it becomes worth a lot of money, I will still have no regrets.
The king of all Z-movies!
johan_norberg11 October 2003
This movie is unique. It's without a doubt the best of its genre (Z-movies). The movie was the reason I wanted to see movies like Plan Nine From Outer Space, The Beast Of Yucca Flats, Astro Zombies, Invasion Of The Blood Farmers... but they are nothing compared to this one. It simply rocks!
The movie, directed by Don Swan is a mixture of a strange plot, unique actors, weird music and indeed a very strange script. It is hard to describe gore-met in words. It's an experience!
At the time I saw gore-met for the first time I had never seen a Z-movie. The movie totally chocked me!... I had never seen such a low budget movie with exceptionally bad image quality, sound quality so bad you had difficulties hearing words (occasionally), and pathetic special effects. I could barely watch the movie. But the day after I saw it, I wanted to see it again. I wanted to see those strange scenes with remarkable lines like "Bring me what I need my child" or "So another savior comes to slay the dragon" or scenes like the cop in the kitchen, the dark room scene, Goza's philosophy scene and the brotherhood scenes (priest force fights among other things).
After that the movie got better and better the more times I watched it... the movie was unique. It was like nothing else. The strange music, unique actors like Theo Depuay (Goza), Jeff Baughn (Lonezor), Michael O'Neil(Blozor), C.W. Casey (Azog), Alan Marx (Jerry), and the script creates a strange movie. Especially the part about the righteous brotherhood and the fate of the earth is being threatened by Goza.
The movie has many little details... after each time you see the movie (I have lost the count) you'll see things that you didn't noticed before. I can watch this movie an infinite amount of times! :)
Another thing that saves this movie from a certain doom is because of the comedy oriented theme. Other movies (like The Abomination, 1986) has fallen because the lack of it. Movies like Peter Jackson's Braindead and Bad Taste also has this comedy-style making it work. I think it is necessary for movies like these. Although Peter Jackson's early films isn't within the Z-genre (long away from that genre), it is a good example for describing this comedy-orientation. Peter Jackson's movies rocks by the way!
Unfortunately this is the only movie Don Swan has created (at least according to IMDB). If Don Swan with supreme actors like Theo Depuay and Jeff Baughn creates a new film, I will without a doubt see it!
This movie is nowdays hard to find,(and only being available in VHS format) but if you have the opportunity --> watch the movie... not one time but at least two! Then you'll see what I'm talking about :=)
I give this movie 10/10 without hesitation!, it is simply the best in its genre!
It seems that most of the imdb reviews on gore-met are negative. I guess the reviewers only saw the movie once. It isn't a movie for everyone either. But give it a try! :)
The movie, directed by Don Swan is a mixture of a strange plot, unique actors, weird music and indeed a very strange script. It is hard to describe gore-met in words. It's an experience!
At the time I saw gore-met for the first time I had never seen a Z-movie. The movie totally chocked me!... I had never seen such a low budget movie with exceptionally bad image quality, sound quality so bad you had difficulties hearing words (occasionally), and pathetic special effects. I could barely watch the movie. But the day after I saw it, I wanted to see it again. I wanted to see those strange scenes with remarkable lines like "Bring me what I need my child" or "So another savior comes to slay the dragon" or scenes like the cop in the kitchen, the dark room scene, Goza's philosophy scene and the brotherhood scenes (priest force fights among other things).
After that the movie got better and better the more times I watched it... the movie was unique. It was like nothing else. The strange music, unique actors like Theo Depuay (Goza), Jeff Baughn (Lonezor), Michael O'Neil(Blozor), C.W. Casey (Azog), Alan Marx (Jerry), and the script creates a strange movie. Especially the part about the righteous brotherhood and the fate of the earth is being threatened by Goza.
The movie has many little details... after each time you see the movie (I have lost the count) you'll see things that you didn't noticed before. I can watch this movie an infinite amount of times! :)
Another thing that saves this movie from a certain doom is because of the comedy oriented theme. Other movies (like The Abomination, 1986) has fallen because the lack of it. Movies like Peter Jackson's Braindead and Bad Taste also has this comedy-style making it work. I think it is necessary for movies like these. Although Peter Jackson's early films isn't within the Z-genre (long away from that genre), it is a good example for describing this comedy-orientation. Peter Jackson's movies rocks by the way!
Unfortunately this is the only movie Don Swan has created (at least according to IMDB). If Don Swan with supreme actors like Theo Depuay and Jeff Baughn creates a new film, I will without a doubt see it!
This movie is nowdays hard to find,(and only being available in VHS format) but if you have the opportunity --> watch the movie... not one time but at least two! Then you'll see what I'm talking about :=)
I give this movie 10/10 without hesitation!, it is simply the best in its genre!
It seems that most of the imdb reviews on gore-met are negative. I guess the reviewers only saw the movie once. It isn't a movie for everyone either. But give it a try! :)
This movie looks like something my kid brother made with his home movie camera, but if you take it for what it is it can be quite entertaining.
herrick-225 December 1998
Basically, this evil guy is killed hundreds of years ago but returns in the mid eighties as the owner of a restaurant where he is killing people and serving them to his customers. Ultimately he is trying to break some curse that has been placed upon him. The cinematography is crude and the special effects are awful, but for what it is worth this movie is not that bad. I would recommend watching it if you can ever find it.
Yeah...
BandSAboutMovies20 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Don Swan directed, wrote and produced one thing and this is it, the story of Gozu, a man damned to be alive forever but forced to feast on flesh, so why shouldn't he share that with the rest of the world and start chopping up customers and serving it to other customers? For six hundred years, this is the way he's been doing business, but at least now he's figured out how to smoke out and wear comfy Hawaiian shirts in addition to masticating on people.
There's a lot of 80s jazz - there's a whole band playing live so this has commitment - and lots of women milling around Gozu's beach restaurant, as well as some health inspectors and a cult called The Holy Order of the Righteous Brotherhood that has watched over the chef for centuries. Also: he is not a zombie, but that title is too good to play with. I guess if he doesn't eat meat he turns into one.
One of the people he's already devoured part of, Azog, stands outside the place and yells at people to avoid it. If he and the other hooded members of the Brotherhood are still alive are they eating flesh as well?
Filmed on location at Smokey Joe's Cafe in Charlotte - which is still open, so eat there at your own discretion - this movie shopped local, as it has dancers from the Paper Doll Lounge. The fact that this business still operates more than forty years later proves that people in North Carolina know how to support mom and pop (and probably a lot of single moms) businesses.
I wrote for a burger restaurant for a few months and they always called out how they didn't have freezers and ground their meat fresh every day. Goza's Deli and Beach Club can claim the same thing but perhaps even better - or worse - because some of their ingredients are so fresh they're still crawling around the plate.
The main drama kicks in when a girl named Stella disappears. Her man Jerry tries to get Tracy, a meat packing hard drinking girl who tells every man to "**** off," to help, but she just gets co-opted by Gozu, joins his side and kills the dude who may have been our protagonist. Stella's roommate Missy, however, may be the prophesized high priestess destined to destroy Gozu.
The sad part of it all is that this movie is aware of itself and if it weren't, it would be amazing. At least the box art is incredible.
There's a lot of 80s jazz - there's a whole band playing live so this has commitment - and lots of women milling around Gozu's beach restaurant, as well as some health inspectors and a cult called The Holy Order of the Righteous Brotherhood that has watched over the chef for centuries. Also: he is not a zombie, but that title is too good to play with. I guess if he doesn't eat meat he turns into one.
One of the people he's already devoured part of, Azog, stands outside the place and yells at people to avoid it. If he and the other hooded members of the Brotherhood are still alive are they eating flesh as well?
Filmed on location at Smokey Joe's Cafe in Charlotte - which is still open, so eat there at your own discretion - this movie shopped local, as it has dancers from the Paper Doll Lounge. The fact that this business still operates more than forty years later proves that people in North Carolina know how to support mom and pop (and probably a lot of single moms) businesses.
I wrote for a burger restaurant for a few months and they always called out how they didn't have freezers and ground their meat fresh every day. Goza's Deli and Beach Club can claim the same thing but perhaps even better - or worse - because some of their ingredients are so fresh they're still crawling around the plate.
The main drama kicks in when a girl named Stella disappears. Her man Jerry tries to get Tracy, a meat packing hard drinking girl who tells every man to "**** off," to help, but she just gets co-opted by Gozu, joins his side and kills the dude who may have been our protagonist. Stella's roommate Missy, however, may be the prophesized high priestess destined to destroy Gozu.
The sad part of it all is that this movie is aware of itself and if it weren't, it would be amazing. At least the box art is incredible.
So bad it's not just good, it's epic.
jeffuary24 June 2005
Ah, the golden days of High School. My twin brother and I would go to the local video shop, located in the deep shadow cast by "Mega-Video Mall and Lobotomy" across the street, and spend our summer days trying to find the WORST horror film ever made. And by "worst", of course, I mean "best".
To some people Vertigo changes their view of film. For others it's a Godard piece or a Kurosawa study. For me, my epic is Gore-met Zombie Chef From Hell. A movie so ludicrous, inane, bad, lame, and annoying that every frame REEKS of the love for film. Nobody could EVER see a 'production' of this sort to completion if there wasn't a bone deep, cellular level love of all things film. This movie is almost a tragedy in that sense. People actually took the time and effort to create, film, and release what was probably not a good idea in the first place, no matter how drunk they were when it came to them. I've heard rumors that this was an attempt by porn filmmakers to make a legitimate film that would rescue them from the fringes of show business. If that is true, as I used to believe as a high schooler, then it is akin to watching a calamity in which no one survives: you feel horror, shock, pity, and anger, touched with a sense of wonder and a strange desire to latch onto the feelings the moment stoked in your heart. This movie should be played in a modern art museum somewhere.
So bad it achieves a level nearing beauty. So inept as to be almost unbelievable. So unwatchably bad that it actually re-enters the other side of the spectrum as fan-freaking-tastic.
I wish someone would track down the cast and crew and write a screenplay about the filming of this movie.
To some people Vertigo changes their view of film. For others it's a Godard piece or a Kurosawa study. For me, my epic is Gore-met Zombie Chef From Hell. A movie so ludicrous, inane, bad, lame, and annoying that every frame REEKS of the love for film. Nobody could EVER see a 'production' of this sort to completion if there wasn't a bone deep, cellular level love of all things film. This movie is almost a tragedy in that sense. People actually took the time and effort to create, film, and release what was probably not a good idea in the first place, no matter how drunk they were when it came to them. I've heard rumors that this was an attempt by porn filmmakers to make a legitimate film that would rescue them from the fringes of show business. If that is true, as I used to believe as a high schooler, then it is akin to watching a calamity in which no one survives: you feel horror, shock, pity, and anger, touched with a sense of wonder and a strange desire to latch onto the feelings the moment stoked in your heart. This movie should be played in a modern art museum somewhere.
So bad it achieves a level nearing beauty. So inept as to be almost unbelievable. So unwatchably bad that it actually re-enters the other side of the spectrum as fan-freaking-tastic.
I wish someone would track down the cast and crew and write a screenplay about the filming of this movie.
easily one of the worst movies ever made
amaneatingtree8 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
rarely have i seen a film so poorly executed as gore-met zombie chef from hell. i have seen a large number of bad movies throughout the course of my life, but very few have achieved this level of incompetence. every aspect of the film is poorly executed. the acting would be the most obvious flaw of the film, but unlike most other b movies, this movie has nothing going for it at all besides for its awfulness. the production values are very similar to that of an 80's porno film. the visual quality is slightly better than a cheap camcorder and the cheap transitions and even text on the screen look like they would be in 1980's porn. scenes drag on for much longer than they have any right to, like the dance sequence to one of the five or six cheesy songs that are constantly repeated throughout the film. the story is weak also, but is slightly original, so it might be the strongest point of the film. i really loved how bad this film was and don't think i will ever be the same after seeing it. goodnight.
A little cheese for the burger
SykkBoy22 May 2001
High brow plot? no! Decent Special Effects? No Good acting? not on your life
What we do have is a weird little piece of video here. While it's not at the top of my must see bad movie list, it is one of the entertaining party movies where you and a few drinking buddies get together and watch a bad movie and play the home version of MST3K.
It's basically shot on a camcorder with lousy effects, bad acting, cheesy fakey gore but that spirit of a guy with $150 in his pockets and a few drinking buddies who decide to shoot a movie.
So, worth a look for the bad movie lover, but nothing to go out of your way for if you are just casually into bad movies. 6/10
What we do have is a weird little piece of video here. While it's not at the top of my must see bad movie list, it is one of the entertaining party movies where you and a few drinking buddies get together and watch a bad movie and play the home version of MST3K.
It's basically shot on a camcorder with lousy effects, bad acting, cheesy fakey gore but that spirit of a guy with $150 in his pockets and a few drinking buddies who decide to shoot a movie.
So, worth a look for the bad movie lover, but nothing to go out of your way for if you are just casually into bad movies. 6/10
BEST MOVIE EVER
BuffJim21 October 1999
This movie is quite possibly the best movie ever made, at least the best I've ever seen. Director Don Swan is a genius, and it's shocking that he didn't win a whole mass of awards for this. Although I was a little disappointed at the relative lack of blood and guts (especially considering that "gore" is actually in the title), this was easily made up for by the great storyline, the oscar-worthy acting and the outstanding soundtrack. I can't wait to see it again and I definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good movie.
B is for Budget
PoemFreak51921 August 2003
Where to begin... Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell won me over from the start. When I first set my eyes upon this little oddity on the shelf of the nearest b-movie retailer I knew I had to own a copy. Come on, "Gore-Met?" It doesn't get much better than that in b-horror, folks. Now some skeptics might say that this purchase was $30 wasted. I say...but how many people own this movie, exactly? Ok so maybe the movie itself cost less than $30 to make...sue me. This puts the b...in b-movie. They're on a budget for a reason. And you know something, if this movie was given a budget of let's say...the latest Vin Diesel movie...I'd say they just threw movie ethics right out the window. Higher budget does not ensue higher quality, or higher means of entertainment.
So let's talk about this quality factor for a few lines... Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell, did not fare well on it's one and only review here on IMDB. And this is understandably so. The acting was poor, the script stiff, the music repetitive, the plot sketchy...cheesy gore. Well you say potato and I say...yam.
Some may see this as negative feedback. I see this as positive attributes. Witness the art of b-movie magic: -Piss-poor acting and little character development -Nearly non-existant plot if not far-fetched at the least -pointless nudity -Laughable kill scenes -Gore, lots of it. -Oh, and let's not forget lack of adequate funding.
B-movies are sort of dangerous territory. Upon viewing we have to tip-toe around, having to decipher what's safe-playing ground. Ultimately, b-movies are judged by the masses. Once a b-movie is out to an appreciative public...it's eventually raised to cult status and BAM it's a classic. But obviously the masses aren't always in attendance, ie: Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell. I somehow doubt that this movie would elevate to cult status, given the opportunity. But I can say that myself, among others were highly entertained. And while some cringe at the thought of having to swallow their pride long enough to enjoy a b-movie for what it's worth, I'd say that judging by the latest chart-toppers we've swallowed a lot worse.
So let's talk about this quality factor for a few lines... Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell, did not fare well on it's one and only review here on IMDB. And this is understandably so. The acting was poor, the script stiff, the music repetitive, the plot sketchy...cheesy gore. Well you say potato and I say...yam.
Some may see this as negative feedback. I see this as positive attributes. Witness the art of b-movie magic: -Piss-poor acting and little character development -Nearly non-existant plot if not far-fetched at the least -pointless nudity -Laughable kill scenes -Gore, lots of it. -Oh, and let's not forget lack of adequate funding.
B-movies are sort of dangerous territory. Upon viewing we have to tip-toe around, having to decipher what's safe-playing ground. Ultimately, b-movies are judged by the masses. Once a b-movie is out to an appreciative public...it's eventually raised to cult status and BAM it's a classic. But obviously the masses aren't always in attendance, ie: Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell. I somehow doubt that this movie would elevate to cult status, given the opportunity. But I can say that myself, among others were highly entertained. And while some cringe at the thought of having to swallow their pride long enough to enjoy a b-movie for what it's worth, I'd say that judging by the latest chart-toppers we've swallowed a lot worse.
work-o-genius by an unknowing/oblivious director or: xaxtron 5000
priest.2128 November 1999
this movie exemplifies all that is good, great, or otherwise in the genre of low budget horror. there is a norse god!!! send in the clowns!!! the bearded actor/genius in this piece(gore-met zombie chef) is the next larger version of luis de jesus, of "blood sucking freaks" fame. beautiful set design, great costume, excellent casting. a true work of art by any true B-movie fanatic's standards. bravo......
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