The Minus Man (1999)

Sheryl Crow: Casper

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Vann Siegert : [Vann walks into a bar, seeing a lady and a bartender]  Do you have any pie?

  Bartender : Nope.

  Vann Siegert : Hmm.

  Bartender : No pie. No pizza. No kitchen. Just booze.

  Laurie Bloom : You got pickles.

  [the three of them look at the pickle jar that's full of yellow juice and yellow pickles] 

• [Laurie begins coughing all over the bar when Vann suggests corn for her cough] 

  Laurie Bloom : Fucking allergies. I'm not even 30, and I got six different things wrong with me. Shit.

  Vann Siegert : Corn is good.

  Laurie Bloom : What?

  Vann Siegert : Corn, if it's fresh.

  Laurie Bloom : [Laurie coughs again]  Corn.

  Vann Siegert : Sometimes it'll make you feel better. Really.

• [Vann has a pickle conversation with the bartender and Laurie] 

  Laurie Bloom : You think anyone's ever made a pie out of pickles?

  Vann Siegert : I hope not.

  Laurie Bloom : There are people that eat pickles with ice cream.

  Bartender : Pregnant women maybe. But I never heard of anybody making a pie out of pickles.

  Laurie Bloom : [Laurie holds up her drink]  Well, then who buys them? I'd like to get pickled.

  Bartender : You are, baby.

• [Vann finds out Laurie's name is not Casper] 

  Vann Siegert : 'Casper'? Like the ghost?

  Laurie Bloom : 'Casper' like shit. That's not my name. My name's Laurie.

  Vann Siegert : Laurie, that's a nice name.

  Laurie Bloom : L-A-U-R-I-E. Laurie. Four vowels and two consonants. That's rare, you know? Almost all the vowels, A-E-I-U. The only one I don't have is an 'O'. So if your name was Tony, you'd be perfect. What is your name?

  Vann Siegert : Bob.

  Laurie Bloom : Nuh-uh. So you got the 'O'.

  Vann Siegert : Got the 'O'. Guess that makes me okay.

  [Vann chuckles as Laurie cheers]