The Next Best Thing (2000) User Reviews

An Arrangement

[bkoganbing · 5/10 · 28 February 2010]

The Next Best Thing casts Madonna as a free spirited soul (some stretch of casting there) who has a one night stand with an old friend and soul mate Rupert Everett. But that's not likely to happen too often as Everett is a gay man with whom she confides her innermost.

I think Everett's character must have been based on Roddy McDowall who was a confidante to many of the rich and glamorous and unlike that other gay man who did that as well, Truman Capote, McDowall never wrote any tell all memoirs.

It rarely happens in real life, but a blessed event came from that mating and Madonna and Everett decide to move in together, not marry, but raise the child as a mother and father with each leading their separate lives. It actually does work for a while.

Madonna really gets into the mother role and Everett's a great father figure. But he never forgets his social life with friends and lovers like Neil Patrick Harris and Mark Valley.

But then Madonna meets Benjamin Bratt who wants to get married and that puts an end to the arrangements.

The Next Best Thing while a sincere effort in its own way of showing the complicated problems that gays and lesbians have with the raising of children, their own children at that, it sadly degenerates into the kind of soap opera that one finds on the Lifetime Channel. It's not a horrible film, just will never be on anyone's ten best list.

Potentially interesting idea suffocated by cliche-ridden script

[Beana-4 · 5/10 · 29 June 2000]

Although praised for her roles in the likes of Desperately Seeking Susan and Evita, The Nest Best Thing sees Madonna returning to the form of such previous mishaps as Body of Evidence and Dick Tracey.

The film tracks the relationship between broody yoga teacher Abbie (Madonna) and her gay best friend Robert (Rupert Everett), who end up in bed together following a rather over-zealous Fourth of July celebration. Although Robert agrees to help raise the resulting child, things become problematic when, several years on, Abbie meets and falls in love with Ben (the vastly underwritten Benjamin Bratt), who asks her to settle down with him.

Although there is some on-screen chemistry between Madonna and Everett, the audience expects more, considering the twosome are real-life friends and basically playing themselves. Everett fares best, pulling out all the stops in a reprise of his previous gay role in 'My Best Friend's Wedding'. Madonna's performance, on the other hand, is constantly inhibited by her mega-star status. It is sadly impossible to forget that she is none other than Ms. Ciccone, meaning that her desperate-for-love character appears somewhat implausible.

The script is a clunker, rendering the first half-hour of the movie cliche-ridden and woodenly acted, as the actors have little to work with. To be fair, it does get better as it becomes less predictable, and it is a good move by director Schlesinger to avoid playing the conventional happy ending card, instead prompting the viewer to ponder for themselves the futures of Abbie, Robert, and their son, Sam (Malcolm Stumpf). This cannot, however, excuse several fatal blunders, including the fact the Next Best Thing suffers from an identity crisis, flailing wildly every which way from forced rom-com humour to courtroom drama, not helped by Abbie's sudden and bizarre personality change mid-film. Perhaps irresponsibly, the script also allows Sam (a rather old-looking 5 year old) little emotional reaction to the troubles between his parents.

Although watchable, with reasonable enough performances, the mediocre script fails to convince, leaving the viewer with a frustrated sense of what should have resulted from a potentially interesting Hollywood pitch.

She still can't act

[LittleOracle · 15 April 2002]

I had high hopes for this -- really, I did. I thought it would be a sweet, charming and tugging-at-the-heartstrings comedy. But I was TOO hopeful.

Story in one sentence: two best friends (one gay, one straight) end up in bed together, have a son, raise him together, everything hunky-dory until she wants to marry someone else and the little family gets screwed up.

Let's talk about what's the worst: the script, hands down. Everything is so spliced in or cut out it's just terrible. The transitions are so choppy, that we barely have enough time to understand the undeveloped characters -- they're just thrown at us and next thing you know, it's years later. It's unrealistic and it's too fictional to really understand or get into. Madonna is suffering from never finding Mr. Right, Rupert is the gay buddy that "somewhat" turns into the bad guy and poor Benjamin is just caught in the middle. We don't know WHO to hate in this movie -- that's pretty much the hard part. Everyone is in the bad guy role, they just don't fit it due to the fact they all need sympathy.

As for Madonna, yes, it's obvious she took lessons. The problem would be that she is way too conscious of the camera. Her husband commented once that she needs to let the director direct -- and I think that's a huge problem with her performance. She is just "too beautiful" in this movie. I mean, she's supposed to be sobbing her eyes out and she looks up and is all glistening and pretty. Sorry, but in order for me to believe her I want to see it on her face that she's worried -- you know, red eyes, puffy cheeks, smeared makeup -- the works. Madonna had too much creative control in this and it's obvious. Her expressions don't fit her tone of voice either; she seems to blink consciously and doesn't have much expression -- but hey, close your eyes and listen to her and you'll see that she's making progress.

All in all, a good storyline put to a bad script and bad performances. Anyone who tells you this is a great movie is obviously a star-struck Madonna fan.

Staggerlingly awful

[Boyo-2 · 1/10 · 2 April 2001]

This movie is a huge failure thanks to Madonna'a inability to overcome her own superego, the screenwriters inability to give the (ha, ha) actors something meaningful to say, and John Schlesinger's impending state of dotage.

There is not a single moment of real human interaction, movie magic, or genuine emotion.

Madonna heads up the torture squad and brings actors Everett and Bratt down to her level of non-talent. Old professionals Lynn Redgrave and hubby Josef Sommer do not bring anything either.

I have to conclude that Madonna has a day job she is good at. She certainly earned her Razzie Award as Worst Actress.

Sad that a director of such masterpieces as "Darling" and "Midnight Cowboy" can be responsible for such garbage.

I hope everyone had a lousy time making it - I certainly had a lousy time watching it and why should the viewer be made to suffer the most?

AAAAAARRRGH(gurgle)

[cephalopod2005 · 1/10 · 7 March 2005]

So bad it's good. Or something. At least, I didn't actually vomit up my Hungry-Man TV Dinner -- I sat glued to the screen, fascinated with Madonna's vapid-rapid-blink "acting" style, Benjamin Bratt's inability to manufacture charm, and the fact that the normally appealing Rupert Everett was markedly repugnant in this film. Madonna looks equally strange. The creature/product has been molded into something quite cute at various stages in her career, but in this vehicle she looks like she's been hitting the steroid needle. I tried and tried but was unable to analyze just what was wrong with her. You be the judge! Watch it! Preferably with some unsuspecting friends and gallons of alcohol.

The Next Worst Thing

[monsterbug · 1/10 · 23 February 2001]

This movie definitely ranks among the worst director John Schlesinger has ever made. Visually brilliant movies like URBAN COWBOY seem long gone if compared to this - pardon me - extraordinary piece of crap!

Madonna delivers an overwhelmingly shallow performance while Rupert Everett has to deal with her moron behavior as the film´s character Abbie.

Maybe Madonna decided to make a movie about her coming of age as a superstar - searching for the right guy to raise her child with. I really think she deserves her husband in real life, Guy Ritchie.

But I can´t bear her attitude towards her gay friend, whom she chooses to be the child´s father - played by Everett. First of all, she lies to him, saying he´s the father of her child. When she finally meets Mr. Right, she doesn´t seem to care about him any longer, treating him like an unloved being.

Accordingly, she abducts the child from the shared apartment to solve the problem that unfolds when she meets her new lover. Correctly, Everett deems himself forced to take their case to a California court.

It is there, however, that Everett learns Madonna has played tricks on him - since he isn´t the real father of the child. He is then - on top of everything - blamed with ruining Madonna´s life.

Nobody asks how Everett must feel about the whole story..

I simply think that this movie is - apart from the terrible storyline - unbearable. You can´t just walk away with a film like this, which incorporates an attack on the self esteem of all gay men!!

Madonna ought to stick to her music career at last, since she doing fine in that area. But I strongly advise her to keep her fingers off the filmmaking business!

The movie is pure bad taste!!!!

Very P.C. and raises serious questions in a light-hearted way

[Chris_Docker · 7/10 · 18 June 2000]

Madonna plays a women let down by one man too many. In a night of drunken excess, she sleep with her best friend - who happens to be gay. She is pregnant as a result and they decide to set up home as a family, remaining best friends as they take on the joint responsibilities of parenthood. Things get complicated as Madonna's character falls in love with a new suitor. Probably the most PC movie of the year. If any of the subject matter interests you, and especially if you like Madonna, go and see it. If well-told stories about nice gay men and children leave you cold, forget it. This doesn't take the Mickey out of gay people, neither does it sacrifice by way of caricature or cheesiness. Instead it raises real social questions about rights and responsibilities towards children, and without preaching.

Good Lord !

[geo303 · 1/10 · 14 June 2000]

What´s this ?

Stop ! Don´t buy a ticket for this ! Hollywood has to stop making trash like this. I mean.. there´s nothing bad about trash but this is nothing more than simply boring. A Film about woman who wants a kid and a father who is gay and not really the father and two other guys and some other gay guys and the mother who doesn´t know what she wants from another guy who´s not gay and what .... uuuurgh ..

I´m sorry but I can´t see any more stupid films that end in a court room. If you write a script and you don´t know how to bring it to an end just choose a court room as the location. And why is Madonna such a nice person at the beginning of the film, such a cheap jerk in the middle of the film and so nice again at the end ? Why does she have to leave her best friend like that. Did they cut out the scene where a big stone falls on her head and she suddenly changes into an unfriendly bad person as well as the reverse scene ? And these stupid ... no ... it´s not worth writing about this any more.... just ignore this Film !

Very touching and sweet, one of the better things out there!

[inkblot11 · 7/10 · 9 June 2005]

Abbie (Madonna), a yoga instructor with her own studio, has bad luck with men. The only man who really connects with her is Robert (Rupert Everett), a dear friend, who happens to be gay. One special evening, Abbie and Robert become somewhat drunk and end up sleeping together. One can guess the result. Abbie becomes pregnant. Abbie hastily convinces Robert that romance is overrated, that they should move in together, and that they should raise the child as a couple. Everything goes wonderfully until Abbie meets Ben (Benjamin Bratt). Suddenly, Abbie is in love and things are going to get complicated. Will there be a happy ending for everyone involved?

This movie has so many assets. Madonna looks beautiful and acts with feeling, Everett is his usual wonderful self, and Bratt delivers another fine performance, too. The child actor who plays the son is very effective as well. Adding to the good dramatics is a gorgeous California setting, some nice costumes, and a touching script. The ending is a guaranteed to send one running to the tissue box. Okay. One understands that not everyone is enamored with Madonna. If you can get past HER past, give this movie a try. It is a fine example of sensitivity and intelligence on its gay issues, for one, while delivering a romance for those who clamor for more, more, more in that particular film category.

Next WORST Thing!

[preppy-3 · 1/10 · 6 March 2000]

Gay Robert Whittaker (Rupert Everett) gets best friend Abbie Reynolds (Madonna) pregnant after one drunken night. She has the baby and they agree to live together and raise the child. Everything is fine until she falls in love with handsome Ben Cooper (Benjamin Bratt)...and wants full custody of their child.

Yawn. This has been done before, but never this badly. The script is lousy (some of the lines were beyond belief), Madonna's acting was terrible (no shock there), the direction off (I could direct better than this!), badly edited and it's just plain dull! The "comedy" wasn't funny, the "drama" has been done before in countless Lifetime movies on TV and it gets annoying that Hollywood thinks that a gay man getting a little drunk could automatically sleep with a woman. Speaking as a gay man myself, I can tell you, that isn't the case! Also Madoona looks terrible here. She's supposed to be 34! She was 42 when she made this--and looks it.

SPOILER AHEAD. Also at the end, Madonna is happily married, but Everett is still alone. I guess it's OK for the straight woman to find the man of her dreams, but not the gay guy. SPOILER END

There are a few good things about the movie--Lynn Redgrave shines in a supporting role and Everett was as good as was humanly possible. Also it's fun to see Michael Vartan in an early role and Neil Patrick Harris playing gay six years before he came out! But, all in all, this is a total mess--not worth anyone's time. Sadly, great director John Schlesinger's last film. Avoid.

MUCH better than I expected

[JaynaB · 9/10 · 11 August 2009]

This movie is really a sleeper. I can see why people who watch it expecting a campy fiasco like Madonna made with Sean Penn would be disappointed or even p.o.'d. I avoided it for 9 years just on principle. In fact, during the first few minutes when I accidentally caught it on TV, I kept thinking, "Who is this actress who looks so much like Madonna but who can ACT????" This is really REALLY not a romantic comedy, no matter how light and funny it is initially. It is a more serious than usual role for both Madonna and Rupert Everett, and they both did very well. It is touching and funny, and might have suffered 9 years ago because the viewing public was not ready for the very realistic portrayal of these complicated questions about who is really "family" and why.

A pleasant surprise....

[David Beards · 7/10 · 23 February 2002]

After reading all the negative comments on The Next Best Thing I was dubious about hiring the DVD, but just couldn't resist seeing how Madonna performed.

The movie itself is very good - not without flaws, but still enjoyable and immensely watchable. The courtroom scenes are particularly well done.

Now for the $50000 question - how does Madonna perform??? In my opinion exceptionally well. She has really matured as an actress during her 20+year career. She seems considerably more comfortable in front of the movie camera , and after the first few minutes of the film I forgot I was watching Madonna and I believed her characterization of Abbie.

A lovely film to watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Its Been months since I've seen it, and I still can't get the rotten taste out of my mouth

[nodogs · 1/10 · 31 December 2000]

Its been months since my wife dragged me to see this film, and I still can't get the rotten taste out of my mouth. Ten minutes into the movie she and I were looking at our watches, wondering how much more we were in for. At that point we knew we had a film that could surpass The Postman (the Costner movie, not the Italian one) in trite pompousness. The only positive thing I can say I gained from The Next Best Thing is that it has given me a new concrete reference for the term "Bad Movie" (it nudged Postman out by a nose).

I want to express, these feelings don't come from any bias I may have against Madonna or any of the other actor's involved in it(including TVs Doogie Hauser), in fact I have a great deal of respect for Madonna's business acumen and her ability to continually re-invent herself. A big part of her past success has come from her wisdom to surround herself with capable people, but that seems to have not made a difference this time. The usually engaging Rupert Everett walks woodenly through every scene. Julia Roberts' 'Squeeze' Benjamin Bratt stumbles through his poorly written lines. And as for Madonna herself--what accent is that you're affecting?

Stay Away, stay away in droves. Or better yet, watch it, and learn what real pain is.

one of the worst

[ajdagreat · 27 August 2001]

Seeing this movie is the next best thing to having your intestines removed with a teaspoon. I never was a big Madonna fan (Like a virgin, touched for the very first time...), but I never thought she could be THIS bad. I stopped caring about all these characters within 15 minutes into the movie, and the only people I sympathized with were myself and any other suckers who paid to see this movie. It's just plain stupid. It's not funny, it's not dramatic, it's not believable - people don't act like this! It's ludicrously bad and all copies should be BURNED.

I've Fallen and I can't get up

[morepower75 · 1/10 · 4 April 2001]

`The Next Best Thing' was excruciatingly slow. From the start the plot left a lot to be desired. On several different occasions I hoped the movie would end, but it just kept on. The acting was mediocre at best, but even the best actors would have had little to work with. Unfortunately `TNBT' made it to the top of `Movies I wish I had never seen.'

Almost like TV-movie

[Empire-3 · 1/10 · 21 January 2002]

I almost felt I watching tv-movie on Hallmark. Especially the last 45 minutes are like in tv-movie. The movie begins with comedy touch and later it becomes boring drama. Madonna is ok in this movie, but the film doesn't have good script. All the actors are ok. The movie isn't funny and surely isn't touching. Maybe better script should worked. If Madonna wants to become better actress, she should rely on better scripts. This film is like tv-movie; after you have watched it, you simply forget it. ** stars from ***** stars.

The next best thing to this would be death!

[mrs_wells · 1/10 · 31 May 2002]

What a piece of CRAP. Madonna couldn't have acted her way to a piece of toilet paper in order to wipe the crap from the script. There was NO chemistry between Rupert Everett or Madonna, the script made no sense and was completely unbelievable, there's more humor in a seminar about mold and mildew, and the directing was awful. And the lighting! It looked as if somebody was holding a piece of aluminum foil under Madonna's face whether the scene was supposed to be day or night.

It was as if the VHS tape had a special "odorama" scent that issued a foul odor into the room starting 5 minutes into it, and the foul smell increased to the point my eyes were burning and I couldn't breathe the air without a barf bucket nearby.

Probably one of the worst films I've ever seen, I would have expected Hollywood to implode on itself after this mega stink-fest...

An enjoyable, very original movie

[georgesh3 · 7/10 · 28 October 2001]

This movie has been on cable TV for months and I just got around to viewing it. It had a very original story, was beautifully photographed with other excellent production values, well acted, and well written. I don't understand why it was so poorly received. Perhaps it is more of an old-fashioned movie (I'm 66) with a modern plot situation. Even with the gay man conceiving a child story it could be a family film. I highly recommend it.

For the love of God, somebody stop her.

[islandsavagechild · 1/10 · 30 July 2008]

Hundreds of years from now, I imagine historians and archeologists, not to mention film preservationists, will spend years and years gazing in puzzled horror at Madonna's body of film. It will evoke feelings similar to the nausea, fear and disbelief we feel now while studying Mayan hieroglyphics of wholesale human sacrifice and ritual slaughter. Only much less interesting, naturally. What is it about Madonna? In movie after movie we have to endure the excruciating process of her struggling with all her might to bring a human emotion to her face. This Herculean labor, brought to its absolute zenith in Evita, but not much abated here, may be great fun for afficionados of porn acting, but for the rest of us: sheer torture. Then there's her voice. She delivers her lines like a tenth-grader playing Hamlet's mother, but with less conviction. Madonna seems entirely incapable of expressing intelligence or emotion, but if she would just let her hair down and act like the good old all-American tramp she is, all might be forgiven. Alas, she seems to have some curious delusions of grandeur. She is the most self-conscious bad actor who ever disgraced a movie screen, and yet she doesn't have the nerve to be camp. Is it possible to be wooden and plastic at the same time? Madonna manages to make Jenna Jameson look like Judi Dench. The movie? Couldn't tell you a thing about it.

Great up until the last 30 minutes

[Shiva-11 · 7/10 · 2 March 2000]

The next Best Thing - After yet another failed relationship, Abbie seeks solace in the arms of her best friend Robert. Robert is what every woman wants in a man - he listens, he's caring, funny, understanding, attentive, a great dancer and stunning to look at. Unfortunately for Abbie, he's also gay. But one night of celebrating will change their lives in ways they never dreamt possible.

I wasn't sure what to make of this movie from the previews: was it supposed to be a comedy a drama? It turned out to be a bit of both. An interesting look at relationships from a different perspective, the first 2/3 of the movie are quick paced and hilarious. Rupert Everett, has made a career playing witty, charming characters and hits the mark once again - his timing is impeccable. Madonna on the other hand is cast against type - for once, she is not a glamorous diva, but a regular woman with real desires and concerns. Their real-life friendship translates into believability on-screen and draws you into the story. Then the movie takes a serious turn.

The dramatic element of the film works about as well as a speed bump on the I-5 - it kills the flow. The final third of the movie is too Kramer vs. Kramer - nasty, depressing and unnecessary (I swear that Kleenex had a hand in the rewrite). Although Madonna makes a good villain, Everret's frustrated outbursts are clearly forced and you don't believe their "tense" exchanges.

If you are looking for a great date movie, this is it. It also works as a comedy, just remember to leave before the nastiness starts.

The Next Best Thing is Not Seeing This Film.

[anaconda-40658 · 1/10 · 20 May 2015]

The Next Best Thing (2000): Dir: John Schlesinger / Cast: Madonna, Rupert Everett, Benjamin Bratt, Illeana Douglas, Lynn Redgrave: Miserable sack of trash with a title that swerves around the issue of sex and friendship. Friendship is not the next best thing to a stupid sexual fling. Madonna and Rupert Everett are best friends. He is gay and the father of her baby after one drunken night. It is a bitter film that boils down to a custody battle when Madonna is engaged to someone she met in Yoga class. It jumps from Madonna in labour to her son at six years old in a matter of a scene that strikes as confusing without subtitles. The ending is slapped on and awkward. Dreadful directing by John Schlesinger who once made superb films such as Marathon Man and Midnight Cowboy. Now he directs this garbage just after directing another crap fest called Eye for an Eye. Madonna is hideous in a role that is very unsympathetic. Is it possible that this is her worst performance or is this one of her many toss ups? Everett fares far better as someone wrestling with his sexuality as well as friendship and potential fatherhood. Benjamin Bratt's performance as Madonna's Yoga class boy toy is about as inspiring as a kick in the ass. Illeana Douglas and Lynn Redgrave also make the mistake of showing up in this. Pointless soap opera where the next best thing is a paper bag to vomit in. Score: ½ / 10

Exceeded my expectations.

[krobyn · 8/10 · 7 September 2001]

I'm with songman018. I give it an 8 rather than a 10, but I agree with everything he said about it. I'm shocked at how poorly this has rated among IMDB members. I would've read some other comments to get a feel for why the average rating is below 5, but I don't want to blow my image of either the movie, or get disappointed in the people that viewed it. I thought that it was an incredibly appealing and sensitive film and that all of the actors within were amazing. I don't think I can say much more about it that songman didn't already cover for me. I'm very pleased to see that someone else enjoyed it as much as I did. Watch with an open mind and heart.

It's OK, but nothing special

[TBJCSKCNRRQTreviews · 6/10 · 27 January 2004]

The acting is mostly pretty good, Madonna actually pulls off a good, believable performance. The plot is OK, but it jumps too much forward in the movie at a time; in the end, you more or less lost interest. Rupert Everett's interesting character was pretty much the only thing that kept me through the whole thing, he was funny and a great character. The plot moves along annoyingly inconsistent, jumps too much from situation to situation for you to keep track of it. Every time you thought the movie had finally reached the situation it would be about, it jumps on. The situations are sometimes interesting, as they're realistic and about stuff that happens in real life. The last situation is very authentic, and deals with a situation that's somewhat common, and nearly everybody has experienced it, or something close to it. The funny moments in the film are few and far between, but maybe it's for the best; it makes the drama a little more real. If you have the patience to sit through it, and you want a good drama, you could give it a try; but don't expect a total masterpiece. 6/10

Great idea...wasted.

[Rainsford55 · 1/10 · 30 January 2002]

Great story and some fine photography, but who was the casting agent??? King Kong??

Put Madonna and Everett together into a movie and what a bomb. It might have salvaged this embarrassment if either of them could act !! Everett is plain pathetic and bares no resemblance to a father than my cat does. Watch the scene where he's reunited with Sam and laugh along with me at his abysmal rumblings. There was about as much warmth in that acting as there is in my cat's dinner bowl!!

With a pathetic attempt by Madonna at showing frustration and worry and fear in 'custodial' type scene's just couldn't convince me that she knew where she was supposed to be. When she's got her hand up to her eyes in those courtroom scene's and in the car at the end, she is probably trying desperately to read her next lines/movements off the palm of her hand.

That this aging 'pop' star who has succeeded in getting acting roles is a mockery of a democratic nation and proves it's not what you know but who you know.

The role could have gone to a 'real' actress makes this film just obscene. Warble your heart out Madonna and let the real actors have the work. You surely dont need it. Everett, get some acting lessons. How on earth did you get to where you are now? Are all Producers able to be bought?