Charmed (1998– )

Brian Krause: Leo Wyatt

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Quotes 

• Leo : Piper, this is completely illegal.

  Piper : Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay?

  [She holds up his death certificate] 

  Piper : Let's not get technical now.

• Leo : ...plus ours will be doubly magical - half Whitelighter. Half witch.

  Paige : Hey, that's like me. Oh. You might have some problems.

• Leo : [after Paige tests a vanquishing potion on him]  Damn it, Paige! I would appreciate it if you didn't practice on me. I may be dead, but it still hurts!

• Grams : Have you been exercising your powers daily?

  Piper : Do I need to?

  Grams : Well, you know, if you don't want to lose control of them. Did you perform a ritual to promote growth?

  [Piper and Leo look sheepish] 

  Grams : Did you cast a spell to ward off demonic parasites?

  [Piper and Leo continue to look ashamed] 

  Grams : Sweetheart, what did you do?

  Leo : We built a nursery in our bedroom closet.

  Grams : No wonder this baby summoned me.

• Piper : You asked me to marry you, and I did. You wanted a family, and I gave you a son. And now you just want me to watch you walk away?

  Leo : Piper it's not that simple.

  Piper : Then make it simple.

• Craig : Who are you?

  Paige : Witch.

  Leo : Angel.

  Phoebe : Mermaid.

• Piper : Why didn't you save her?

  Leo : I tried.

  Piper : But you didn't. Why didn't they let you save her, too?

  Leo : The Elders? They couldn't. They don't have that kind of power.

  Piper : Then what the hell good are they?

  [Piper stands up and walks away from Leo and finds a tissue, Leo follows] 

  Leo : It's okay to be angry.

  Piper : I'm not angry. I am pissed off! Don't you understand? You healed the wrong sister! You saved me because I'm your damn wife, and you should've saved her because she was the best! Because she, you should.

  [She loses it again, overcome. Leo moves up behind her and this time, she lets him hold her] 

  Piper : Why do they put us through so much for it to end this way?

• Phoebe : No time to dawdle, there's a baby on the way.

  Leo : This is crazy. You can't leave like this.

  Paige : We, very well can't ignore Chris's birth now can we?

  Chris : I'm the baby. I give you permission to.

• Leo : Why am I standing in the ocean?

  Piper : Phoebe's a mermaid.

  Leo : Oh, well, that would explain it.

• Leo : [referring to Paige's scant attire]  Uh, Paige, where did you orb in from?

  Paige : I was dealing with some personal issues.

  Leo : Well, I'm your whitelighter so if you ever want to talk...

  Paige , Piper : No.

• Piper : Paige! There will be no talk of testicle-orbing in front of the baby!

  Leo : Or his father.

• Leo : As your whitelighter, I'd say go with your instincts.

  Paige : Okay.

  Leo : But as your brother-in-law, going up against your sisters would be pure suicide.

  Paige : Great. You've really helped clarify this issue.

• [Piper and Leo stand over Wyatt's crib looking down at him] 

  Piper : He's so... innocent. If only he had any idea what Mommy and Auntie Paige did today.

  Leo : [to Wyatt]  They turned a very bad man to a very big tree.

• Leo : Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out.

  Piper : Don't be ridiculous, you're already dead.

• Leo Wyatt : Look, Piper, no matter what happens...

  Piper : No...

  Leo Wyatt : You have to keep trying to make contact.

  Piper : I don't want him to hear it...

  Leo Wyatt : He's not after you, he's after me.

  Piper : Would you please stop trying to save me!

  Leo Wyatt : I'm sorry I got you into this.

  Piper : [crying]  Yeah, just one ordeal after another, right?

  Leo Wyatt : I've never stopped loving you.

  [her eyes welling up with tears, Piper's resistance finally melts and she leans in to kiss Leo] 

• Phoebe : I mean, between you and Leo, and Prue, the new Hot Wicca Woman, and me, soon to be employed, things are looking up.

  Piper : Don't say that. The moment someone says that, everything always goes south.

  Phoebe : Unless you freeze him. Oh, I couldn't help it. It was so good.

  Prue : Okay, okay, come on, we're going, you're going to borrow the car.

  [Leo comes down the stairs] 

  Leo : Good morning.

  Phoebe : Yeah, we heard.

• Leo Wyatt : [to Wyatt, right after Grams has left the room]  Now you know why we don't summon her more often.

• Leo : Hey, I'm not nauseous.

  Piper : Hey, I am. Wait, that's not good news.

• Leo : P3's still doing great.

  Piper : Not as great as it used to be, thanks to me.

  Leo : Well, Piper, you're having a baby. Your priorities have changed.

  Piper : Yeah, well, haven't you heard? Women can have careers and babies now. It's been in all the papers.

  Leo : Well, are those women trying to save the world from demons too?

• Phoebe : What about water birth? Can we do that at home?

  Eve : Sure, we can rent a tub.

  Piper : What am I a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish.

  Leo : Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals.

  Piper : Shut up.

• Leo Wyatt : What is that? Is that a time portal? Is that what that is? What are you using it for?

  Chris Perry : I don't have to answer that.

  Leo Wyatt : I thought you said you had nothing to hide.

  Chris Perry : I don't have to answer that either.

• Leo : Phoebe, you cant be the Queen of the Underworld and a charmed one!

• Piper : It was all of those women showing off their sonogram pictures, and it was just working on my last nerve. Like, "Look, it's Jasper's first photo. And it's going to go on the fridge in a magnetic frame that says 'Jasper's First Photo'."

  Leo : Okay, I thought prenatal yoga was supposed to help you relax.

• [Piper's morning sickness is causing her to burp small orbs of white light] 

  Paige : [to Leo]  Okay, is that normal?

  Leo : All this arguing is probably just upsetting the baby.

  Piper : [indicating size with her hands]  Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing is upsetting the mommy.

• Leo : It's your love that keeps me sane and whole and balanced

• Phoebe : [about Paige]  Dead? What do you mean she's dead?

  Leo : Don't worry. The dwarves are all over it.

  Phoebe : The dwarves?

  Leo : Piper cast a spell that wound up summoning the descendents of the seven dwarves. Actually, they prefer to be called little people now.

• Piper : Where's my baby?

  Leo : Over here.

  [Leo stands up to reveal that he's now seven months pregnant] 

  Paige : Oh, my God.

  Piper : Oh, my God.

  [Leo sees Ryder trying to nuzzle his wife's neck] 

  Leo : Oh, my God!

  [Phoebe screams in the attic] 

  Slappy : Oh, that doesn't sound good.

• Leo : Dammit!

  Paige : Are Elders even allowed to swear?

  Leo : No, but fathers are.

• Leo : Because nobody knows where it is. Its location has been kept secret even from the Elders.

  Paige : Where was their infinite wisdom on the day that was decided?

• Piper : Aww I was such a cute baby.

  Leo : Yea I know.

  Piper : Leo, you're not even looking at the picture.

  Leo : Well I've been watching you you're whole life.

  Piper : Yea ok that's too creepy to think about.

• Leo : Being with her broke the rules. Not being with her breaks my heart.

• Prue : Leo you can't just let Piper die.

  Leo : Don't you think I would do something about it if I could?

  Prue : But you love her.

• Piper : What's that?

  Leo : That's our little boy.

• Prue : Where's Piper?

  Leo : Upstairs, recovering from what happened at the office.

  Prue : Why? What happened?

  Leo : She... sort of... blew some of it up.

• Leo : [talking about making a costume for Wyatt's school play]  You wanted a normal life, remember?

  Piper : [at the book, willing to conjure a costume]  Look, that was before I realized our son was going to be humiliated in front of his entire class!

  Billie Jenkins : Happened to me all the time. Only made me stronger.

  Piper : And shut it!

• Leo : You know, you're a pretty good whitelighter.

  Paige : Well, I learned from the best.

• Leo : Ladies, death cannot be feared. For death, in time, comes to all witches. You know, the witch who says she's not scared in battle is a liar. The real witch is the one who fights.

  Piper : Honey?

  Leo : Yeah?

  Piper : Zip it.

• Leo : How about I buy you a drink?

  Dave : Thanks. I've all ready got one.

  Leo : That's not gonna be enough.

• Leo : Witch doctors are kind of a wild card. That's why the elders don't want us working with them.

  Piper : Well, sometimes we don't want to work with the elders. So we're even.

• Leo : The spell, Piper, you need to reverse it. Fast.

  Piper : I'm not sure I can.

  Paige : Then you'd better make us disappear 'cause this one's gonna be tough to explain.

• Leo : Ok, ok, ok, just relax.

  Piper : That's what I was trying to do and then somebody made me blow up my guru.

• Leo : Well, what if he makes his move before you get a chance to vanquish him?

  Piper : I'll freeze him.

  Leo : Now you're confident in your powers?

  Piper : Okay, so maybe I'll blow him up.

  [They walk into the conservatory] 

  Leo : But what if he blows us up first?

  Piper : Well, you're already dead, what's the difference.

• Leo Wyatt : I have to get back to the elders

  Phoebe : Well Chris is a whitelighter, can't he do it?

  Piper : Where is he?

  Phoebe : Upstairs with Paige.

  Piper : And the book. Leo, go talk to the Elders, Pheobe keep an eye on our magical houseguests, I'm gonna go see what future boy is up to.

• Leo : What are you doing?

  Piper : I'm replacing the roof. It was just too dirty.

• Leo Wyatt : Now that I'm a mortal, I'm going to fight for you and let the best man win.

• Leo : I hate to be a bearer of bad news.

  Piper : Could you possibly be the bearer of a big hug?

• Piper : Phoebe's pregnant.

  Leo : What, huh, really?

• Paige : All of them had their eyes gouged out.

  Piper : Ew.

  Leo : Now the video doesn't seem so gruesome.

  Piper : Ha. Speak for yourself.

• Leo : Did you find out anything?

  Phoebe : Besides having a twenty-four hour death wish? Nope.

• Leo : Where's Melody?

  Paige : Oh, she's gone.

  Leo : Gone, as in she left?

  Piper : Gone as in she got sucked in to a big red ring by a warlock named what was it?

• Leo : Well, I know from experience Darklighter poison doesn't kill immediately, so there's still a window of opportunity.

• Leo : Piper, I need you to help me find Paige.

  Piper : I'm not talking to her until she cleans up her room.

• Dan Gordon : Don't you have another house to repair?

  Leo Wyatt : No.

• Piper : What are we gonna do?

  Leo : What we always do.

  Piper : Talk about it later.

• Witch Doctor : You sure these are good witches that live here?

  Leo : The best. Although one of them is going to go very evil on us if we don't get this room cleaned up in a hurry. Believe me.

  Witch Doctor : Is that a fact?

  Leo : Well, not literally.

• Leo : Give daddy back his powers now.

• Leo : Yeah, that little elf? Got a big mouth.

• Phoebe : No I can still cast spells and do the power of three thing. Whatever the problem is it seems more natural than supernatural.

  Leo : Phoebe why didn't you come to me, I'm your Whitelighter.

  Phoebe : Because you've been busy.

  Leo : I've been busy?

  Phoebe : Well I've been busy. My work schedule has been really hectic. But I'm coming to you guys now.

  Leo : Ok you guys yell at her, and I'm gonna check with the Elders and see what they know.