Your Studio and You (1995)

Traci Lords: Traci Lords

Quotes 

• Narrator : But what if our gate was more Artist Friendly? We'll start with the guards. Those dark uniforms connote oppression and conformity.

  [*bing!* The guards' uniforms change] 

  Narrator : But new outfits, with pastel colors and high, pretty collars, seem to say, "I'm your friend, not your enemy."

  [*bing!* Buttons appear on the shirts, reading, "Universal is A-OK!"] 

  Narrator : How about some inspiring buttons to show our optimism? And what about that security gate? Black and white lines may remind artists of police and fear.

  [*bing!* The gate is ridiculously decorated] 

  Narrator : But a new gate, with attractive flowers and colorful birds, becomes a lovely decoration, not just a deterrent.

  [*bing!* Floral arrangements appear around the guard kiosk] 

  Narrator : Now with just a few more changes...

  [*bing!* A tacky lawn ornament appears] 

  Narrator : And some attractive porcelain deer, our gate is now Artist Friendly, and ready for the future. So how do you feel now, Miss Actress?

  Traci Lords : I feel welcome and relaxed for a meeting at Universal.

  [She drives off] 

  Narrator : That's splendid. Too bad the part you want will probably go to Demi Moore.

  Traci Lords : [car screeches to halt]  WHAT?

  Narrator : Oh, nothing. Here, have a wine cooler, compliments of your new studio.