- [first lines]
- Charles M. Schulz: Good evening. I'm Charles Schulz. Welcome to "A Charlie Brown Celebration". Bill Melendez, his animators, and I have put together a cartoon show that is just a little bit different from the ones you usually see. When you draw a comic strip every day, it's important to have a change of pace to keep the reader's interest. I draw a list of daily episodes, then when something strikes me as especially interesting, I do a story that could run for three, four, even five weeks, depending on where the story takes me. This is what we have done for our show tonight. We have four short stories interspersed with several little episodes all involving the complete cast of "Peanuts" characters. Naturally, there will be Snoopy and Woodstock, Charlie Brown, Lucy, Schroeder, Linus, Peppermint Patty, Marcie, the whole Peanuts gang. So, welcome to "A Charlie Brown Celebration".
- Sally Brown: This is my report on the oceans of the world. There are no oceans in Kansas. There are no oceans in Nebraska. There are no oceans in Nevada. There are no oceans in Minnesota. There are no oceans in Iowa. There are no...
- [Teacher interrupts]
- Sally Brown: I thought you wanted us to go into detail.
- Marcie: Babe Ruth had a cap. Willie Mays had a cap. Ted Williams had a cap. Maury Wills had a cap. Willie McCovey had a cap. Mickey Mantle had cap.
- Peppermint Patty: Marcie will you shut up!
- Marcie: Even Joe Garagiola had a cap.
- Peppermint Patty: Kids' Day at ballpark. And each kid to receive souvenir baseball cap. That's it, Marcie! That's how we'll get the caps for our team.
- Marcie: Shouldn't the rest of our players be going with us, Sir?
- Peppermint Patty: They'd get lost, Marcie. I have to do this all by myself. I'm going in and out of that gate until I get nine baseball caps.
- Marcie: I bet they'll let you play on the prison ballteam, Sir.
- Sally Brown: [shouting back to Linus, who is trapped on the roof of the old barn] I'm leaving on the school bus, Linus, but don't worry! I'll send a helicopter to you! Be brave, my Sweet Baboo!
- Linus van Pelt: "Helicopter"?
- Truffles: "Sweet Baboo"?
- Peppermint Patty: [On the phone with Charlie Brown discussing whether or not to transfer to a private school] A private school might do me some good, Chuck. I might even become one of the beautiful people. Wouldn't that be something?
- Charlie Brown: [Cut to his house] I can see you now in a white blouse and a blue skirt running out to play field hockey.
- Peppermint Patty: [Cut back to her house] Don't hassle me with your sarcasm, Chuck!
- Sally Brown: Draw a farm? You want us to draw a farm? I can't draw a farm. I've never even seen a farm! Besides, cow's legs are impossible to draw. I defy anyone in this class to draw a good cow leg!
- [Sally find herself at the principal's office in the next scene]
- Sally Brown: I'm the only person I know who's failing first grade art.
- [next scene, she walks home with Charlie Brown]
- Sally Brown: So what happens? So I got sent to the principal's office because I couldn't draw a cow's leg. I'll bet Picasso couldn't draw a cow's leg when he was in the first grade. I'll even bet Bjorn Borg couldn't draw a cow's leg.
- Charlie Brown: [confused] Bjorn Borg?
- Peppermint Patty: [worried about Charlie Brown in the hospital] Poor Chuck, I hate to think of him lying up there in that hospital room.
- Marcie: You like Chuck, don't you, sir?
- Peppermint Patty: [stammers nervously] Well, I-you know-I feel sort of-you know, he-I-he...
- Marcie: I love Chuck. I think he's real neat.
- Peppermint Patty: Real neat? You think he is real neat?
- Marcie: I sure do. Someday I hope he'll ask me to the prom. In fact, I'd even marry Chuck.
- Peppermint Patty: Come with me, Marcie.
- [They go in the hospital emergency]
- Peppermint Patty: Is this the emergency entrance, ma'am? We're friends of Charles Brown. I have another patient for you.
- [glares at Marcie in disgust]
- Peppermint Patty: I think she's sicker than he is!
- [last lines, after Charlie Brown accidentally kicked Lucy's arm instead of the football]
- Lucy van Pelt: I kept my promise, didn't I? I didn't pull the ball away.
- Charlie Brown: No, you're right, you didn't, but I missed the ball and kicked your hand. I don't know what to say. Is there anything I can do?
- Lucy van Pelt: [her whole arm is in a cast] Next time you go to the hospital, stay there!
- [Charlie Brown gets himself, Snoopy, Linus, and Lucy all tangled up from a kite at Snoopy's doghouse]
- Lucy van Pelt: Charlie Brown, you can't possibly imagine how glad we'll all be when the kite-flying season is over!