Little Nicky (2000)
Harvey Keitel: Dad
Photos
Quotes
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Jimmy the Demon : Knock-knock.
Satan : Yes, Jimmy?
Jimmy the Demon : Don't forget. You're shoving a pineapple up Hitler's ass at 4 p.m.
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Jimmy the Demon : You were gone ten seconds, what happened?
Nicky : I got hit by this big light that was attached to a lot of metal.
Satan : That's a train, son, don't stand in front of them.
Nicky : Well, I'll have to take a mulligan on this one.
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Satan : I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I regretfully have to decline.
Dan Marino : C'mon, man, I'm just asking, let me win one Superbowl.
Satan : In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
Dan Marino : You did it for Namath.
Satan : Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.
Dan Marino : This sucks. I'll just go to the Superbowl as an announcer, and I'll win myself an Emmy!
Satan : That's the spirit!
Nicky : You're a good devil, dad.
Satan : And I also happen to be a Jets fan.
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Nicky : [Nicky sees his deteriorated father] Oh, my God, dad!
Satan : Nicky, I got no legs, I got no hips, I got one ear!
[His left ear detached]
Satan : I got no ears!
Jimmy the Demon : Now, he has no ears. Are you happy, Nicky?
Nicky : Adrian's got the whole city following me.
Satan : I can't hear you, Nicky! I can't hear anything!
Jimmy the Demon : [Talking to Satan's detached ear] Check one-two. One-two.
Satan : Put it back on my head!
Jimmy the Demon : [Jimmy puts Satan's ear back on] Hey. If you look to him, you got 'til midnight tonight. Now, you get your ass back up there and you save your father. Go!
Nicky : I'm gonna save you, dad!
Satan : Nicky!
Jimmy the Demon : Go, go, go, go, go!
Nicky : I'm gonna save you!
Jimmy the Demon : Move it, move it! Go, Nicky, go!
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Lucifer : What's with all these hoo-hoo noises?
Satan : Everything's fine, pop.
Lucifer : Everything's fine? Who're you bullshitting? The last time you said everything was fine, the Renaissance happened!
Satan : Please, Pop. Go back to your room.
Lucifer : [Points to Gatekeeper] Hey, can I take him with me?
[following from deleted scene]
Lucifer : Heh, I want to have sex with his head.
Satan : [theatrical version resumes] Sure, Pop. Whatever you want. Tithead, go with my father.
Gatekeeper : [deleted scene resumes] This is going to be whole a different lifestyle for me, isn't it?
Lucifer : Maybe, I'll just nibble here and there. Who knows?
Gatekeeper : Do what you got to do, Your Horniness.
Lucifer : Okay. You know, Stanley...
Satan : Use a condom, Pop.
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Satan : [Deleted scene; Satan is dancing to a Pink Floyd track at his throne room before Nicky turns it off] Now, that was an experience. "You are only coming through in waves." That line blows my mind every time. I don't care what mood you're in the start of that song. When it's finished, that mood had been altered.
Nicky : Besides, like a trip. Like a trip!
Satan : Whew. Great shit. What's next?
Nicky : Well, I figured after messing with your mind a little bit, I might as well give you a kick in the keister.
[Nicky puts on Enter Sandman by Metallica]
Satan : Who is this, Metal-lic-a?
Nicky : It was Metallica, dad! Come on!
Satan : I was just playing with you.
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Cassius : [alternate scene] Hey, how's daddy's little girl doing today?
Nicky : Oh, I didn't see you guys over there. What's up?
[Cassius snaps his fingers]
Cassius : You want to Mind Wrestle?
Nicky : Actually, I'm alright. I was thinking of chilling by the Throne Room for a bit.
[He gets mind wrestled by Cassius]
Cassius : Gotcha!
Nicky : Yeah, yeah, you got me.
[Nicky gets mind wrestled again]
Nicky : Hat trick, good one!
Cassius : Now, here's the big finish!
Nicky : No, please! Don't... do... this!
[the mind wrestling makes Nicky cause self harm towards his head and groin; making Adrian laugh]
Satan : What are you boys doing?
[Cassius stops mind wrestling his brother]
Nicky : Nothing, dad. Cassius was just giving my face and balls a massage.
