The Mikado (1992 TV Movie)
Julian Jensen: Nanki-Poo
Quotes
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Nanki-Poo : Who says 24 hours make a day.
Pitti-Sing : There's a popular impression to that effect.
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Yum-Yum : Darling, I love you with all my heart, I don't suppose I shall ever love anyone else half as much, but when I agreed to marry you, my own, I had no idea, pet, that I should have to buried alive in a month.
Nanki-Poo : Nor I, it's the first I've heard of it.
Yum-Yum : It makes a difference, don't it.
Nanki-Poo : It does make a difference.
Yum-Yum : You see, burial alive. It's such a stuffy death.
Nanki-Poo : I call it a beastly death.
Yum-Yum : You see my difficulty, don't you.
Nanki-Poo : Yes, and I see my own. If I insist on you carrying out your promise, I doom you to a hideous death but if I release you, you marry Ko-Ko at once.
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Nanki-Poo : Ko-Ko, the cheap tailor, Lord High Executioner of Titipu! Why, that's the highest rank a citizen can attain!
Pooh-Bah : It is. Our logical Mikado, seeing no moral difference between the dignified judge who condemns a criminal to die, and the industrious mechanic who carries out the sentence, has rolled the two offices into one, and every judge is now his own executioner.
Nanki-Poo : But how good of you, for I see that you are a nobleman of the highest rank, to condescend to tell all this to me, a mere strolling minstrel!
Pooh-Bah : Don't mention it. I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering. But I struggle hard to overcome this defect. I mortify my pride continually. When all the great officers of State resigned in a body because they were too proud to serve under an ex-tailor, did I not unhesitatingly accept all their posts at once?
Pish-Tush : And the salaries attached to them? You did.
Pooh-Bah : It is consequently my degrading duty to serve this upstart as First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chief Justice, Commander-in-Chief, Lord High Admiral, Master of the Buckhounds, Groom of the Back Stairs, Archbishop of Titipu, and Lord Mayor, both acting and elect, all rolled into one. And at a salary! A Pooh-Bah paid for his services! I a salaried minion! But I do it! It revolts me, but I do it!
Nanki-Poo : And it does you credit.
Pooh-Bah : But I don't stop at that. I go and dine with middle-class people on reasonable terms. I dance at cheap suburban parties for a moderate fee. I accept refreshment at any hands, however lowly. I also retail State secrets at a very low figure. For instance, any further information about Yum-Yum would come under the head of a State secret.
[Nanki-Poo takes his hint, and gives him money]
Pooh-Bah : [Aside] Another insult and, I think, a light one!
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Nanki-Poo : Sir, I have the misfortune to love your ward, Yum-Yum. Oh, I know I deserve your anger!
Ko-Ko : Anger! not a bit, my boy. Why, I love her myself. Charming little girl, isn't she? Pretty eyes, nice hair. Taking little thing, altogether. Very glad to hear my opinion backed by a competent authority. Thank you very much. Good-bye.
[to Pish-Tush]
Ko-Ko : Take him away.
[Pish-Tush removes him]
