Julien Donkey-Boy (1999)

Ewen Bremner: Julien

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Quotes 

• Julien : Cursed be he who puts an obstacle in the path of a blind man.

• Julien : You killed the Jews, you killed the hippies. You killed all the mother's titties.

• Julien : I got a... I got a... I got a poem. Wanna hear?

  Pearl : Yeah.

  Julien : Okay. Okay, I'll read a poem.

  Father : Okay.

  Julien : Midnight chaos, eternity chaos, morning chaos, eternity chaos, noon chaos, eternity chaos, evening chaos, midnight chaos, eternity chaos, morning chaos, eternity chaos, noon chaos, evening chaos, eternity chaos, midnight chaos, eternity chaos, morning chaos, eternity chaos, noon chaos, eternity chaos, evening chaos, eternity chaos, midnight chaos, eternity chaos, noon chaos, morning chaos, evening chaos, eternity chaos, midnight chaos, eternity chaos...

  Father : [while he keeps rabbling]  It's not right. Julien... cut it out.

  Julien : Morning chaos, eternity chaos...

  Father : You repeat "chaos, chaos, chaos"! It don't even... It doesn't even rhyme.

  Julien : It rhymes with chaos.

  Julien : Chaos...

  Father : Come on. Come on, stop that. That's not a poem.

  Julien : Midnight...

  Father : Come on, what is that? It doesn't even... It doesn't even rhyme, you repeat "chaos, chaos, chaos" and it doesn't even rhyme.

  Julien : Chaos!

  Father : How about that...

  Julien : Midnight...

  Father : Julien...

  Julien : Midnight...

  Father : Julien, you shouldn't...

  Julien : Midni...

  Father : No, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, I... I don't like it because it's so artsy-fartsy. You see, I like the real stuff. I like something like... the end of Dirty Harry. I saw this Dirty Harry and it... it's really... OH!

  Julien : "Oh" what?

  Father : There is this TREMENDOUS shoot-out. You should really listen. Just listen. Listen. Just LISTEN. There was this shoot-out... Dirty Harry has this bad guy cornered, I mean, he was a... real, real bad guy. And there's this tremendous shoot-out that, that... really exchanged lots of fire there... shooting bullets at each other and they keep missing. At the end, the bad guy drops his gun and it's just, down there on the... on the bottom. And Harry hovers over him and now Harry, I mean, he's really full of contempt... Harry standing there, he's totally full of contempt, and he... says to him... "There are many other bullets, do you still think there is a bullet left in your gun?" And he says to him "You know. Now you gotta ask yourself a question... Do I feel lucky?" At that moment, the bad guy lounges for his gun, raises it and it just says "click"!

  Pearl : Yeah...

  Father : He's only got one bullet left and Harry blast him, he just blast him... into a river, and blast him and knocks off him his feet and blast him away. You see, that's... It's good stuff. I think you'd like that. I don't like the artsy-fartsy thing, I think I... I think I hated his poem.

• Julien : I HATE THE MAILMAN!