The Wind in the Willows (1995 TV Movie)

Rik Mayall: Toad

Quotes 

• Toad : Poop, Poop! Oh, poetry of motion! Ohh, the bliss! Ohhh... poop, poop!

• [Mr. Toad has given up his obsession with gypsy caravans and began a whole brand new obsession for motor cars in short order; after a near head on collision with a speeding motorcar] 

  Mole : What are we to do with him?

  Rat : [takes out his pipe; curtly and through his teeth, while smoking his pipe]  Nothing...

  Rat : *AT* ALL!

  Toad : [imitating a motorcar]  Phoot!

• [Badger, Rat and Mole are trying to persuade Toad to give up his outrageous, and dangerous obsession of motorcars] 

  Toad : [jumping on the couch; freaking out by his unridden car being taken away before his eyes]  What is this? My car! My Beautiful car!

  [he faces Badger] 

  Toad : [upset]  Badger, what have you done?

  Badger : Take those clothes off at once!

  Toad : [impudent; bouncing on the couch in protest]  *Shan't!* Shan't, shan't, shan't, shan't!

  Badger : [to Rat and Mole]  Take 'em off him!

  [Mole and Rat strip Toad from his driving clothes, till he is only wearing his white undershirt and red white-polka dot patterned underpants] 

• [Toad wakes up from a dream of him driving a motorcar, finding himself in his prison cell, shocked] 

  Toad : Oh no! No!

  [starts to cry] 

  Toad : It was only... a dream...

  [he cries, wipes his nose] 

  Toad : [crying out pathetically]  Oh, HAPLESS TOAD!

• Toad : [driving recklessly in the motor car]  CLEAR THE WAY! OPEN ROAD! HA-HA!

  [Toad starts doing wheelies and the car starts smoking]