Stardom (2000)

Patrick Huard: Montreal Talk-Show Host

Quotes 

• Montreal Talk-Show Host : [leaving his guest stranded to fend for himself as he comes down to interview girlfriend]  Hello?

  [in French, causing a deer-in-the-headlights startled look from her] 

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : What? Pussycat got your tongue?

  Tina Menzhal : [uncomfortably]  I'm sorry, I don't speak French.

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : [in her language now:]  Nobody's perfect. But I think you are very close.

  [audience loves this] 

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : I saw you coming in with this guy. Is he your boyfriend?

  Tina Menzhal : I can't talk.

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : [in French, to audience:]  She can't talk. The plot thickens, let's unravel this mystery.

  [leads panicking girl to the stage, clowning along the way] 

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : Why don't you have a seat? Merci.

  [to his abandoned guest, in French:] 

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : Okay, Philippe, that monologue must have exhausted you. Go sit in my chair, it's much more comfortable.

  [in effect, shooing him out of the way, with the pretty girl all to himself] 

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : Go. Thanks.

  [to her:] 

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : So, are you ashamed of this man? Is there a dark secret you wish to share with us?

  Tina Menzhal : Well, I'm not supposed to be seen with him.

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : Why? Because he is too old for you?

  Philippe Gascon : [in French:]  Thanks a lot!

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : [in French:]  Don't mention it!

  Tina Menzhal : Well, it's like, if other photographers knew I was with him, they wouldn't hire me.

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : We won't tell.

  Tina Menzhal : Yeah, right. Now the whole world knows.

  [gesturing at Philippe] 

  Tina Menzhal : Look at him. He's laughing. I'm toast. They're gonna send me back to Cornwall, thank you very much.

  Philippe Gascon : Come on, you're going to Paris.

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : Paris? Paris, France? My God. But, you don't speak French.

  Tina Menzhal : I know a few words.

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : Say one.

  Tina Menzhal : [delightfully naïve]  I can't. They're all dirty words, I think.

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : [in French, to Philippe:]  You taught her smut?

  Philippe Gascon : [in French, laughing:]  You gotta start somewhere.

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : [in French:]  You pervert.

  Tina Menzhal : I know this one... Vicieuse. He likes it when I am vicieuse, or...

  [tries in French:] 

  Tina Menzhal : And also, 'slut.'

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : [in French, theatrical, to audience, who is lapping it up:]  Is it me, or is it really getting hot in here? I'm gonna pass out. I need some water. Be right with you.

  [drinks from glass, she looks at him, butter won't melt in her mouth, audience loves this] 

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : Do you know some other words?

  [audience laughter grows] 

  Montreal Talk-Show Host : Please speak French to me!