Strangers with Candy (1999–2000)

Paul Dinello: Geoffrey Jellineck, Mr. Sears, Nurse Troy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Geoffrey Jellineck : It's not a cold sore! I bumped my lip on a biscuit!

• Jerri Blank : What are you painting?

  Mr. Geoffrey Jellineck : Oh, just a little bit of Americana for Drug Awareness Week. It's the Battle of Miami. Columbus here, fighting the pilgrims as they attempt to land.

• Chuck Noblet : So, is there no Mrs. Jellineck?

  Geoffrey Jellineck : No...

  Chuck Noblet : Divorce?

  Geoffrey Jellineck : She was, uh, she was murdered.

  Chuck Noblet : Sometimes that can be just as painful.

• Jerri Blank : Hey, why don't you paint me while I talk?

  Geoffrey Jellineck : [mumbling]  Well, I don't know...

  Jerri Blank : Should I remove my clothes?

  Geoffrey Jellineck : I don't think so.

  Jerri Blank : Are you sure?

  Geoffrey Jellineck : I'm positive.

  Jerri Blank : Why don't I remove my pants and panties?

• Geoffrey Jellineck : If wishes and buts were clusters of nuts, we'd all have a bowl of granola.

• Geoffrey Jellineck : Jellineck. Geoffrey Jellineck. I'm the new art teacher.

  Chuck Noblet : Oh of course you are! Hi, I'm Chuck Noblet. Social studies, creative writing, school newspaper, assistant to the principal...

  Geoffrey Jellineck : What don't you do!

  Chuck Noblet : Get my lesson plans in on time!

• Geoffrey Jellineck : Hello, Judas.

  Chuck Noblet : Sorry, Geoffrey, I can't hear you above the roar of my success.