Strangers with Candy (TV Series 1999–2000) - Greg Hollimon as Principal Onyx Blackman

Principal Onyx Blackman : I'll be back in a shortly.
Principal Onyx Blackman : Block the door with your budding femininity!
Principal Onyx Blackman : Stop by the nurse's office after lunch to pick up your free uniforms. And then stop by my office to pick up the nutty goodbars that you'll all be selling to pay for your free uniforms.
Principal Onyx Blackman : [Reading newspaper headlines] What's this? "Messianic Cult moves to Flatpoint"? Good God! I don't like the sound of that! What kind of maniac would attempt to control fresh young minds?

[Turns on the intercom]

Principal Onyx Blackman : Attention! Harken to my voice! An insidious cult is intent on controlling your actions. I command you to avoid it at all costs! That is all.
Principal Onyx Blackman : We're going to be instituting a dress code.

[Students groan]

Principal Onyx Blackman : Relax, people. They're going to be based on your requests which I'm sure you would have requested had I asked for your requests.
Principal Onyx Blackman : [to Ricky, the transfer student] Your new-student eyes immediately graze over the firm young flanks of our females. And I won't have it! Capiche, amigo? There's nothing I'd like better than to put you new students back on the boat to where you came from. Comprend-zay vous?
Principal Onyx Blackman : What's the situation? Who ran him down?

Chuck Noblet : How should I know? I'm married!

Greg Hollimon: Principal Onyx Blackman