Lakeboat (2000)
Jack Wallace: Fred
Quotes
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Fred : It's getting expensive just to live.
Joe Pitko : Sure as shit.
Fred : Just to buy a pack of Camels, it's getting so you have to go to the fucking bank. Used to be 26 cents a pack in Indiana.
Joe Pitko : I remember when it was 17 cents in Tennessee.
Fred : You're not from there.
Joe Pitko : Ah, we used to go there. Wish I never got started. I used to buy them from my old man. He used to say "Hey, if you're gonna smoke, don't hide it. Smoke in my presence."
Fred : So did you?
Joe Pitko : Christ, no, he would've kicked the shit out of me.
Fred : It's too fucking expensive. You never should have got started. Fuck!
Joe Pitko : It's going up.
Fred : When's it gonna stop, I swear to god I don't know. We'll all be selling syphilitic fucking apples to each other on a street corner.
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Fred : Steven Seagal is the strongest guy in ten years.
Stan : You know what? You are truly an idiot. You could have said that in the dark, and I would've known it was you, because only you could make so stupid a statement. Steven Seagal has got to be the dumbest jagoff I can remember.
Fred : Yeah, it's like you to say that.
Stan : You know about it?
Fred : I know when a guy is strong.
Stan : And that's what Seagal is, strong, huh?
Fred : Yeah.
Stan : You know, you're right. I agree with you 100%, he is strong, this Seagal. I can't think of anything that could be stronger than him, unless maybe a pile of shit!
Fred : What do you know? Who do you like?
Stan : Oh, I'll tell you. You want a real strong fella, a real type. I'd have to say Jerry Lewis. He could probably knock the shit out of this Seagal.
Fred : Aw, you don't know nothing. You don't know a fucking champ when you're looking at him in the movies, for chrissakes. This guy is stark, he's the best.
Stan : He's the best, alright. Like jacking off is better than getting laid. This guy Seagal is the biggest jackoff of all time.
Fred : Yeah, I agree with you, Stan. I see your point, the man is not stark, he's no fucking good. That's why he didn't take five fucking guys in that barroom using only one pool cue. I see your point!