Now and Again (1999–2000)

Eric Close: Michael Wiseman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Wiseman : Can I fly?

  Dr. Theodore Morris : What?

  Michael Wiseman : Can I fly? You know, like, uh, Superman?

  Dr. Theodore Morris : Mr. Wiseman, over the past 6 months we've performed a complicated series of operations. I'm tempted to call them transplants, but in truth, there is no "you" to transplant them to. Let's call them operations. In fact, let's agree that you have been the recipient of some of the most sophisticated surgical thinking and practice in the history of medicine. In addition, you have been inoculated with and intravenously fed over 700 highly experimental and, I believe extraordinarily promising hormones, steroids and vaccines that also were developed uniquely for you in this project. Now I mention all that because, and I'm embarrassed to admit it, that in the midst of all those surgeries, all those implant procedures, all the beta trials, tests, failures and successes... it just never occurred to any of us to shove a rocket up your ass.

• Dr. Theodore Morris : Oh, yes. If you sass my Grandma Pearl tomorrow I will personally open up the stitches in the back of your skull and pull whatever's left of your personality out. Do you understand me?

  Michael Wiseman : I'll make you proud, Doc.

  Dr. Theodore Morris : You'd better.

• Michael Wiseman : Something is amiss. I don't smell bacon. Now, isn't there a law in the state of New York where it can't be called breakfast unless there's bacon or sausage or some sort of fried meat?

• Michael Wiseman : Can we discuss this, please? Guy to guy? Man to man? Science fair project to scientist?

• Lisa Wiseman : Stop saying my name like you've known me for a million years! And stop acting so familiar! You are completely unfamiliar! In fact, you're crazy! In fact, you're a crazy man walking around asking people to hold his eggs. Screw you! SCREW... YOU!

  Michael Wiseman : Really? You sure? It's a weekday, you know!

• Dr. Theodore Morris : You're stronger than any man on the planet. You're faster than any man on the planet and, theoretically at least, if something should happen to you I could, if I had a couple of billion dollars and a new brain build another unit to replace you.

  Michael Wiseman : Ah, you're just saying that to make me feel better.

• Michael Wiseman : I'm not what you think I am.

  Lisa Wiseman : What do you think I think you are?

  Michael Wiseman : I don't know... but you have to be wondering.

  Lisa Wiseman : Oh. Well, maybe a year ago, I would have wondered. No, a year ago, I would've known. A year ago, I would've run away... but I have had one of those years where everything that you count on... none of it works out the way that you think that it's going to. None of it... happens the way that you planned.

  Michael Wiseman : Like what?

  Lisa Wiseman : Everything. Gravity. So, I look at you, and I-I-I don't know. I-I sense something. I, uh, feel something, uh... familiar.

• [rehearsing a cover story] 

  Michael Wiseman : You heard of my company? Dominatrix-pizza.com? You place your order and then people in leather deliver your food, slap you around if you don't give them a big enough tip. I just made that last part up. We don't have to use it.

  Dr. Theodore Morris : We're not going to use it.

  Michael Wiseman : What do you think of pizza-dungeon.com?

  Dr. Theodore Morris : I don't even want to know.

• Dr. Theodore Morris : Mr. Wiseman? Why are you staring at the pigeons?

  Michael Wiseman : I'm jealous. That bread looks awfully good to me.

• Dr. Theodore Morris : I know you kissed her that day down in the subway.

  Michael Wiseman : Yeah, so? She's my wife.

  Dr. Theodore Morris : Not anymore, Mr. Wiseman. Not anymore.

  Michael Wiseman : What are you trying to say?

  Dr. Theodore Morris : No turkey. No stuffing. No pie. No nooky. Happy Thanksgiving.

• Michael Wiseman : Yep. Nothin' says lovin' like plant life from the oven.

• Michael Wiseman : Well... in the nine months since you gave me the big makeover it's not like I've been around a lot of women. For that matter, in the 45 years before that it's not like I'd been around a lot of women.

  Dr. Theodore Morris : Mr. Wiseman, she's just here to teach you. Nothing more.

  Michael Wiseman : I... I just... I have this instinct. It's the way she looks at me -- this thing that's supposed to be me. No one's ever looked at me like that -- not even when I was 26. I guess I'm just afraid that something might happen.

  Dr. Theodore Morris : Hmm. There's a word for that fear. It's called narcissism.

• Dr. Theodore Morris : You are truly unbelievable.

  Michael Wiseman : Well, thank you. I've always found myself kind of remarkable. You know, I've known me all my life and I, for one, can barely tear myself away from me. Hell, I'm damn near inseparable.

• Michael Wiseman : We here at Superheroes Anonymous realize you have a choice in law enforcement and we're grateful you chose us.

  Dr. Theodore Morris : I think the other Superfriends can handle things from here.

  Michael Wiseman : Whatever you say, Commissioner Gordon. The Batcave! 63rd and Madison Avenue... and step on it.

• [at a political fund-raiser] 

  Senator Kragen : Well, good to have you here. Now, you wouldn't by chance be considering a sizable donation to the party?

  Michael Wiseman : Absolutely. A few kegs, maybe some chips.

• [going through a safe] 

  Michael Wiseman : Let's see... proof that aliens exist... ah... where Hoffa's buried... Hmm. Another Pamela Lee video... where the rest of Hoffa's buried...

• Michael Wiseman : And, by the way, what's a POTUS? What?

  Dr. Theodore Morris : The "o" stands for "of" and the "t" stands for "the."

  Michael Wiseman : Thank you, Vanna. I'd like to buy a vowel now.

  Dr. Theodore Morris : "President of the United States."

  Michael Wiseman : What about him?

  Dr. Theodore Morris : POTUS.

  Michael Wiseman : That's who you're going to see?

  Dr. Theodore Morris : Yes. And I need you to stay right here on this bench until I get back.