- Grandfather: I marched to the wall with my Triple-Sling Jigger. I marched to the wall with great vim and great vigor. Right up to Van Itch with my hand on the trigger. "I'll have no more nonsense," I said with a frown, "from Zooks who eat bread with the butter side down!" Van Itch looked quite sickly. He ran off quite quickly.
- Yookie-Ann Sue: Buster, that was a pretty sour flight that you flew. And the Chief Yookeroo, well, he's looking for you.
- Chief Yookeroo: To clobber those Zooks in their land of bad butter, we created a thing called the Utterly Sputter. It's a plane that's so modern, so frightfully new. Even we don't know all of the things it can do, but the main thing it does it sprinkle blue goo all over the Zooks!
- [laughs]
- Chief Yookeroo: Happy trip! Toodle-oo!
- Yooks: It's time that we bop them! / Those monsters that dwell / On the other side of the wall!
- Zooks: They're fooky and freaky!
- Yooks: They're kooky and sneaky! / They're rude and they're crude! /They're frightfully lewd!
- Yooks, Zooks: On the other side of the wall!
- Yooks: It's time that we bash them! / My dear, that's the truth.
- Zooks: They're ugly, unnatural! / Unkempt and uncouth!
- Yooks, Zooks: They're weird! They're suspicious! / Obnoxious, atrocious! / They're rotten, malicious! / They're gauche and ferocious!
- Zooks: Repugnant, repulsive they are!
- Yooks: We're refined!
- Yooks: They're crude!
- Zooks: They're nutty!
- Yooks: They're out of their mind! / All the things that they do! / All the thoughts that they think!
- Zooks: I never have met one / But I heard that they stink!
- Yooks, Zooks: On the other, other, / Other side, other side, / That other side of the wall!
- Van Itch: Shoot if you must with your wee tiny shooter, but the boys in my back room have rendered it neuter with this eight-nozzled elephant-toted boom blitz. It shoots high explosive sour cherry stone pits and will put your dumb Kick-a-Poo Kid on the fritz.
- Grandfather: [narrating] Poor Daniel and I were scared out of our wits.
- Grandson: [narrating] On the last day of summer, ten hours before fall, my grandfather took me out to the wall. For a while he stood silent. Then finally he said, with a very sad shake of his very old head...
- Grandfather: As you know, on this side of the wall, we are Yooks. On the far other side of the wall live the Zooks. And the thing that you heard about Zooks is quite true, of that terribly horrible thing that they do. And in every Zook house, and in every Zook town, every Zook spreads his bread
- [shudders]
- Grandfather: with the butter side down.
- Grandfather: [narrating] I'm unhappy to say, he came back the next day.
- Van Itch: Shoot if you must with your Triple-Sling Jigger, but I also now have my hand on a trigger. My defensive weapon, the Jigger-Rock-Snatch-em, will fling 'em right back just as fast as we catch 'em. We'll take no more nonsense, we'll take no more gupp from you Yooks who eat bread with the butter side up.
- Grandfather: Stymied... Thwarted...
- [several rocks from the Triple-Sling Jigger fall with a splat and covering him in mud]
- Grandfather: Mission aborted.
- Grandfather: Uh-oh! Van Itch!
- [Van Itch comes up to the grandfather driving a similar vehicle]
- Van Itch: Yahhh! Yahhh! How do you like my plane? Forget it, old fellow. You're stymied again.
- Yooks: [singing] We spread our bread / The way we ought. / We spread the way / Our mothers taught. / We fought the wars / That must be fought. / Yook... Yook... Yook-a-loo-yah! / Win we will / And win we must! / Our hearts are true. / Our cause is just. / Our bread is pure / From crust to crust! / Yook... Yook... Yook-a-loo-yah! / Spreading rightly makes us free! / Upwards, Yooks and Yookery! / Spreading to eternity! / Yook, Yook, Yook, Yook, / Yook-a-loo-yah! / Yook, Yook, Yook, Yook, / Yook-a-loo, Yook-a-loo, / Yook-a-loooooooooo-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
- [last lines]
- Grandson: [narrating] That's when Grandpa found me. He grabbed me. He said...
- Grandfather: You should be down that hole and you're up here instead. But perhaps this is all for the better somehow. You'll see me make history. Right here. And right now! You'll see your old gramp put an end to 'em all! Put an end to all those Zooks who live over the wall! Put an end to the every last village and town of those fiends who eat bread with the butter side down!
- Van Itch: And I, my dear chap, have a message for you. Mainly, I also have a Big Boy Boomeroo. And it's my firm intentions, since I have the means, to blast every Yook into small smithereens.
- Grandson: Grandpa, be careful! Hey, easy! Oh, gee! Who's going to drop it? Will you or will he?
- Grandfather: [stammers] Be patient. We'll see. We... will see.
- [the special ends on a shot of both of them carrying the bomb and cuts to a screen with "The End... Maybe"]
- Chief Yookeroo: [frightened] You just run to the wall like a nice young man, drop this bomb on the Zooks just as fast as you can. I ordered all Yooks to stay underground while the bitsy Big Boy Boomeroo is around.
- Yook: Those Zooks keep getting impossibler. And they keep getting impossibler and impossibler every day. Ya ask me, they're getting a little big for their britches.