- [first llines]
- Mrs. Humphries: Who put Jesus in with the iguana?
- Jaye Dackers: Hey.
- Debbie Bennett: What?
- Jaye Dackers: I bring wonderful news of great joy.
- Debbie Bennett: Do you now?
- Jaye Dackers: You're going to have a baby, and it's going to be God's, and it's going to be called Jesus.
- Debbie Bennett: I know that.
- Jaye Dackers: And it's going to have blond hair.
- Wise Man: What's her name?
- Jaye Dackers: Jesus.
- Wise Man: Oh, but she can't be Jesus, there's already a Jesus. Debbie Bennett is Mary, and she's already got a...
- Jaye Dackers: This is Jesus.
- Wise Man: But Debbie Bennett...
- Jaye Dackers: Say hello Jesus.
- Wise Man: Debbie Bennett...
- Jaye Dackers: Say hello Jesus.
- Wise Man: Hello Jesus!
- Angel: Why are you going to be Mary?
- Jaye Dackers: Because the prettiest has to be Mary, it's the law. And who's the prettiest out of me and Debbie Bennett?
- Angel: Well you are.
- Jaye Dackers: I know.
- Star of Bethlehem: Your dad can't be Santa Claus because if he was you wouldn't be Christian Jerrums you'd be Christian Claus.
- [last lines]
- Angel: [as her mother] Have one of these mince pies. Between you and me, those other ones are crap.