Gilmore Girls (2000–2007)

Michael Winters: Taylor Doose

Photos 

Quotes 

• Luke : Look at you. All you need is six dancing penguins and Mary Poppins floating in the corner to bring back two of the worst hours of my childhood.

  Taylor : I don't think you had a childhood. I think you came out a bitter, surly killjoy.

• Taylor : Could this meeting be more disrupted?

  Lorelai : I could do a soft shoe.

  Rory : Yeah, while I pound out a beat on the bongos.

  Babette : Ooh, that sounds like fun.

  Miss Patty : I got bongos in the back.

• Taylor : Breathe in, folks. Smells like fall.

  Luke : Get out, Taylor.

  Taylor : Why?

  Luke : Just a code I live by.

• Reverend : The church is exempt from your town statutes, Taylor.

  Rabbi : We answer to a higher authority... like the hot dog.

  Reverend : I laugh every time you say that.

  Rabbi : I know. Funny is funny.

  Taylor : Well, I can guarantee that God does not want this either.

  Reverend : Did you hear that, David? Taylor Doose is in direct communication with God.

  Rabbi : Thirty years I'm working for God, I haven't received so much as a card.

  Reverend : Is it by phone that you speak with him, Taylor?

  Rabbi : Do you have a God phone, Taylor?

  Taylor : Rabbi, please.

  Reverend : What's he like? For us common folk who've never met him?

  Rabbi : Is he short, is he tall?

  Reverend : Does he like to laugh?

  Rabbi : Is the whole shellfish thing really serious? Because, I gotta tell you, some of these Red Lobster commercials...

• Taylor : [Luke won't give out free coffee at the dance marathon]  You would knock the crutch out from under Tiny Tim, wouldn't you?

  Luke : If he asked for a free cup of coffee, Gimpy's goin' down.

• [Lorelai and Rory arrive late to the town meeting] 

  Taylor : Late again, are we?

  Lorelai : Ooh, yes, I hope I'm not pregnant.

  Taylor : What?

  Lorelai : Are these seats taken?

• Taylor : All right, the nays have it. Let the record reflect it. Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags. Food is not allowed at town meetings.

  Lorelai : No, Taylor. It's not. It's, um, diapers for the little ones.

  Taylor : What?

  Lorelai : Dorsal fins and Cucamonga.

  Taylor : What did she say?

  Lorelai : [whispers to Max]  I confuse him till he loses his train of thought and then he moves on. Hot dog?

• Luke : Get out, Taylor.

  Taylor : Why?

  Luke : It's just a code I live by.

• [about the Town Loner] 

  Luke : What's he carrying?

  Miss Patty : Something all rolled up.

  Taylor : Probably a body.

  Rory : It looks heavy, too.

  Lorelai : Well, bodies are heavy.

  Taylor : That's not funny.

• Taylor : First protest, now vandalism. Makes you think about leaving this town.

  Lorelai : [giddily]  I never wanna leave this town.

• Taylor : I don't get this, people. This man is practically a vagrant. I mean, where do you even live? What do you do for a living?

  Grant, the 1st Troubadour : I don't want people to know those things!

  Taylor : Why not?

  Grant, the 1st Troubadour : Because that's part of being a troubadour.

  Taylor : What is part of being a troubadour?

  Grant, the 1st Troubadour : The mystique!

  Taylor : Oh, this is absolutely ridiculous. Do you subscribe to this troubadour mystique?

  The 2nd Troubadour : I run a Kinko's in Groton.

  Grant, the 1st Troubadour : You see, that proves it. He doesn't respect the code. You're not supposed to talk. You're not supposed to run a Kinko's. You're supposed to speak through your music. That's the whole point.

• Taylor : "The Last Supper" cannot be funky.

• Taylor : What if there's a break-up?

  Luke : There will be no break-up!

  Gypsy : Mr. Optimist!