- Lady X: Being filthy can be loads of fun.
- Dex Dogtective: There are some stains you can never wash out.
- [Mr. Clipboard frantically walks in the supermarket]
- Mr. Leonard: May I help you?
- Mr. Clipboard: You must me Leonard, the manager. I'm your new Brand X representative.
- Mr. Leonard: I wasn't expecting any new products.
- Mr. Clipboard: A corporate picked your store to test the new Brand X detergent! With elixir...
- Mr. Leonard: Brand X son? Never heard of it?
- Mr. Clipboard: Give us one week! Your cu-cu-cu...
- [Clipboard slaps himself with his clipboard]
- Mr. Clipboard: -customers, won't know how they live without Brand X!
- Mr. Leonard: E-ev-everything is so nice the way it is, and we don't have space.
- Mr. Clipboard: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, I'll make space.
- Mr. Clipboard: [makes frantic noises]
- Mr. Clipboard: Wait until you get a *whiff* of our Brand X elixir, it's practically addicting!
- [throws a bag of chips, then stomps on it]
- Mr. Leonard: That was a perfectly good bag of chips!
- Mr. Clipboard: Survival of the fittest, Leonard!
- [Leonard looks at bag of chips]
- Mr. Leonard: Never opened, never enjoyed.
- Mr. Leonard: That was a perfectly good bag of chips!
- Mr. Clipboard: Survival of the fittest, Leonard!
- Mr. Leonard: Never opened. Never enjoyed.
- [final lines]
- Dr. Si Nustrix: Dex is Jewish?
- Daredevil Dan: Yeah, kosher.
- Kung Tofu: Soy vay, who knew?
- [first lines]
- Sweet Older Lady: Good night, Mr. Leonard. Don't work too late, now.
- Mr. Leonard: Just closing up. Nothing much happens around here after dark.
- Vlad Chocool: I am the undead. Alright? The undead, you-you're not dead, but you're not exactly living either. It's sorta like being in summer school.
- Dex Dogtective: Of all the produce bars and all the supermarkets in all the world, she walks into mine.
- Dex Dogtective: How did you get in and out of the store? You're an ike.
- Lady X: Humans. When you look like this, you can get them to do anything. Size only counts for men.
- Lady X: I always knew you were damaged goods.
- [she slaps Dex]
- Dex Dogtective: I'm not the one who's gonna be puppy whipped, you cold farted itch.
- Lady X: All anyone ever wanted was that sweet sunshine goodness. No one ever brought by beautifully genetically giant prunes!
- Sunshine Goodness: The bimbo is mine. Get ready lady cause I'm gonna kick you where the sun don't shine.
- [slaps Lady X across her face]