- Corky: I never thought I'd live to see the day that an FBI agent would be peddling smack.
- Agent Brick Davis: Don't act so surprised. J. Edgar Hoover used to wear a dress.
- Corky: Just tell me why, Brick.
- Agent Brick Davis: I don't know. I suppose it made him feel sexy.
- Corky: Not Hoover, You.
- Tony: What do you want?
- Boy with Mouse: Can you help Jojo? I think he's sick.
- Tony: Yeah, sure kid. I'll fix him right up for you.
- [Throws out dead mouse and puts in a new one]
- Tony: See kid? Jojo's all fixed up. He just needed a new liver.
- Boy with Mouse: How much?
- Tony: What do you got?
- Agent Brick Davis: You do speak Manderain, don't you?
- Corky: Oh yes. I just didn't understand your accent. See, I was taught by an up scale family, su su sudio.
- Howard Shuster: That Mr. Shuster to you.
- Agent Brick Davis: Oh what? I can't call you Howard because I'm not a member of the groovy tie squad?
- Agent Brick Davis: I can't call you by your first name because I'm not a part of your "Groovy Tie Squad"?
- Agent Terrence Darnell: ...No, it's because you're an asshole.
- Agent Brick Davis: I am not an asshole!
- Agent Terrence Darnell: ...Yeah, ya are. Everyone thinks you are. Even your wife- why do you think she left you?
- Dexter, Computer Hacker: What should his name be?
- Peter: I don't care what you call him pissant. Just get it done.
- Corky: Oh, for my résumé I'm really good with animals.
- Paulie Romano: Get me a cup of the, uhh... rocky road there.
- Ice Cream Vendor: Sir all of our flavors are on that sign there.
- Paulie Romano: Oh, then just get me a cup of the pistachio.
- Peter: Paulie, come on already.
- Paulie Romano: Shut up.
- Paulie Romano: [back to ice cream vendor]
- Paulie Romano: Okay just get me the rum raisin then.
- Ice Cream Vendor: The sign.
- Paulie Romano: What are you lookin' at, huh? You suck. You suck suck suck.
- Peter: [Pointing a gun at Agent Davis' back] Who the hell are you?
- Agent Brick Davis: Agent Brick Davis
- Peter: Oh. Freeze prick