- Natalie: It just seems so unfair, you know? I mean, if I have to do this family thing, shouldn't I get to experience some of the good stuff too?
- Julia: Well, who says the family thing has any rules? Wasn't it you who said, "Happy families are always happy in the same way", and...
- Natalie: ..."every unhappy family sucks in a different way"? No, that was Tolstoy.
- Julia: Oh. Gotta love those Russians.
- Roy: What's your problem now, besides the fact that you can't cook rice? And don't give me one of your looks.
- Natalie: I'm not.
- Roy: DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE NOT! Who the hell do you think you are? I AM STILL MR. ROY HADDAD, REMEMBER? Can you remember that? Can you remember fucking ANYTHING? You think you know everything, Natalie, but let me tell you I am here to tell you different, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
- Roy: Arthur, let me explain this to you. There is FedEx, and then there is FedEx, and then there's FEDEX!
- Roy: Alan insisted that we have people... to look after him. We could afford it, he said. He wanted me to keep working, and he didn't want me to watch him go. Then I realized... a parade of strangers watched him go.
- Roy: This is my sister Natalie, everyone; she has decided to grace us with her presence on my birthday. She doesn't come cheap, and she doesn't come on time.
- Natalie: You know, it's funny. You're the only one in the entire family that ever had a real, loving relationship.
- Roy: From your mouth to God's ears. What about you?
- Natalie: Nothing like with you and Alan.
- Roy: Why not?
- Natalie: I don't know. Prefer to be alone, I guess.
- Roy: Sometimes I think you're the only woman waiting to come out as a heterosexual.
- [Roy leans forward and strokes Natalie's hair]
- Roy: No one prefers to be alone, Natalie. No one. The first step is... scary. But it's worth it.
- Natalie: [voice over] And if I ever became Miss America, he said, I shouldn't wish for world peace; just peace in our family.