Friday After Next (2002)

Mike Epps: Day-Day, Old Man with Shotgun

Photos 

Quotes 

• Damon : Craig and Day-Day.

  Day-Day : Ohh...

  Damon : Just the niggas I need to see.

  Craig Jones : Yo, yo... what's up O.G. Triple O.G... O.G. triple... triple O.G.?

  Day-Day : You got out last night?

  Damon : I haven't seen ya'll in about 12 years, nigga.

  Day-Day : I know, I was little...

  Damon : You're grown up now, though. Give a nigga a hug, dog.

  Day-Day : I'm about to go...

  [Craig grabs Day-Day and runs him into Damon] 

  Damon : [Damnon grabs Day-Day]  Yeah, man. It's cool, dog. It's cool. Come here. Yeah, right there.

  Damon : [Damon looks at Craig]  Group hug, nigga!

  Day-Day : Come on, Craig!

  [Craig walks to Damon] 

  Craig Jones : What's up, dog.

  Damon : What's up, nigga.

  Damon : It's good to be home. 'Cause in prison dog, hey... ain't nothing but the fellas, nigga.

  Day-Day : I heard.

• Craig Jones : [beaten up Moly walks in Barbeque restaurant]  Daaaamn!

  Day-Day : [imitating Moly]  Someone call 9-1-1

  Mr. Jones : Moly... you got knocked the fuck out!

  Moly : Oh, good observation, buddy.

  [looks to Craig and Day-Day] 

  Moly : Where were you buddies, huh?

  Craig Jones : We was on our lunch break.

  Day-Day : Trying to get something to eat, so we can secure this nasty-ass lot.

  Moly : Good, good, good... you were eating while I was getting beating.

  Day-Day : Looks like somebody beat the bricks off your motherfucking ass.

  Moly : You are supposed to be a security guard, buddy, no?

  Day-Day : [pretending to be olivious]  We are security, ain't that a bitch?

  Craig Jones : We are security guards.

• Day-Day : It ain't ya booty, it's ya beauty.

• Day-Day : One of them said they was gonna suck my dick from the back. I'm tryin' to see what that be like!

• Officer Dix : For the second time, y'all got jacked by Santa Claus?

  Day-Day : Yeah.

  Officer Hole : Black guy, wasn't it?

  Day-Day : No, this was a nigga that did this.

• Day-Day : All I want is two fat bitches that smell like cheeeseburgers so Chico can lick on'em, and a two year supply of rolling paper.

• Day-Day : You like 'cause your son is a fag?

• Day-Day : You oughta be nervous. You a black cop.

• Old man w/ shotgun : Next time I'm gonna shoot at the one that winks and not the one that stinks.

• Old man w/ shotgun : Come on out there! I know you're in here!

  Old man w/ shotgun : Respect my gangster!

• Day-Day : All want Santa Claus is two fat bitches and a bag of weed and two bag of chips to give to the fat bitches

• Cookie : Oh, I heard about him. They call him the Santa Claus Crook or the Santa Claus Crip or something like that. He robbed a lady out in the parking lot last night, called her a "ho ho ho" and kept on running.

  Day-Day : Who the fuck are you?

• Craig Jones : Tasha, how do we look?

  Tasha : Like a couple of rent-a-cops.

  Day-Day : What about them rented titties?

• Day-Day : [to a trio of elderly carolers]  Y'all are trying to use the lord to sell pussy on this corner.

• Girl Driver : I ain't never heard no policy like that.

  Day-Day : Well you never met a top-flight security nigga like me.

• Day-Day : I can't even do the James Brown in these pants.

  Craig Jones : Good. I don't wanna see you do the James Brown.

  Day-Day : Man, we ain't never gonna get no pussy in these clothes.

• Day-Day : [to Elroy]  Daddy, he gon' shoot yo ass! Get up the damn wall!

• Uncle Elroy : Where your flashlight at? Rent-a-cops supposed to have flashlights. You gotta shine some damn body.

  Craig Jones : We supposed to get handcuffs, flashlights, taser guns.

  Day-Day : German shepherds.

  Uncle Elroy : Y'all must ain't heard what happened to the last security guards they had 'round here.

• Day-Day : Hey, I wanna ask you a question.

  Moly : Okay, what?

  Day-Day : When we get our guns?

  Moly : Oh, no, no guns. You are top-flight unarmed security guards.

  Craig Jones : What about walkie talkies?

  Day-Day : And some flashlights. In case we catch some girl giving up some head right in the back behind the trash cans, I could come back there with the flashlight and catch her.

  Moly : You guys are supposed to be big, tough guys. You don't need all these gidgets-gadgets, huh. All you need is this here.

  [hands them whistles] 

  Moly : If there are any problems, you just blow. Toot-toot!

  Day-Day : [they blow their whistles; Craig is standing right next to Day-Day]  Goddamn, Craig!

• Craig Jones : You heard what happened to the last security guards.

  Day-Day : You didn't even hear what happened to the last security guards, so how da fuck is I'm gonna hear it?

• Old man w/ shotgun : Stay outta my collard greens and my mustard greens and my chronic greens!

• Day-Day : [re: Craig]  This my big-head ass cousin. You know, Bevo Lotti, got mo head than he got body.

• Craig Jones : [after Santa got hit by Pinky's limo]  Should I tell him?

  Day-Day : Let's both tell him.

  Craig Jones , Day-Day : You got knocked da FUCK out!

  Craig Jones : Biatch!

• Day-Day : You gonna make me blow this whistle, I'll clear all this shit out.

  Sister Sarah : Fuck you AND your whistle.

• Craig Jones : You can't talk to people like that. That's somebody's grandmama, fool.

  Day-Day : I can talk to anybody any fuckin' way I wanna talk to 'em. I'm the law around here, and I'm gonna write yo ass up for insubordination. So let me do my job and you do yours. Top flight!

• Craig Jones : So all we gonna do is take it easy, make this money, you gonna watch yo temper.

  Day-Day : I ain't gotta watch shit.

  Craig Jones : You gonna treat people right, talk to people right. You can get yo ass kicked out here real quick.

  Day-Day : So? I don't care nothin' about that. Don't nobody be gettin' outta hand.

  Craig Jones : And I ain't gettin' into no shit because of you.

• Craig Jones : You remedial.

  Day-Day : What does that mean?

  Craig Jones : Retarded.

• Day-Day : With that big ol' wolf pussy.

• Day-Day : Man, What about the fine ass hos I had coming here. They said they were gonna fuck for a buck, do something strange for a little piece of change, and I know we're gonna make them Holler for a dollar. One of 'em said they'd suck my dick from the back. I ain't never had that, ever happen to me, I'm trying to see what that be like. Badaba badaba ba.

• Day-Day : All I want is a fat bitch with a name belt that say "glitter" on it.

• Day-Day : [screaming]  Y'all hear me blowing this whistle?

  Moly : We hear you, dog, what is it?

  Day-Day : We just got jacked by Santa Claus! He almost tied us up, fucked us and robbed us! He pulled out a pistol and...!

  [begins acting melodramatically] 

  Moly : You on crack, buddy?

• Day-Day : [interrupting a trio of carolers]  Heaven and a... fuck all that shit! Y'all hos gotta get up off the corner with that.

  Sister Sarah : Excuse me, sugar, what did you say?

  Day-Day : Y'all heard me what I said. I said y'all hos gotta get off this corner

  Sister Sarah : You better watch yo little filthy mouth. You are talking to children of the lord.

  Day-Day : I want you to know who you're talking to too: top flight motherfucking security.

  Craig Jones : [running up]  Hey wait a minute, Day-Day, you can't talk to these old-ass ladies like that!

• Moly : [after Day-Day, Craig and Elroy got mugged by Santa]  You're supposed to be security, buddy.

  Day-Day : That's why I asked yo ass for the two flashlights.

  [Moly and the two cops start laughing] 

  Day-Day : That's why I hate the fucking law. Get yo fat ass up and go do something about this. You get up too! Gotta get us those flashlights or we gonna get killed around here!

• Day-Day : Here's your lil' stanky-ass whistle!

• Officer Hole : Oh and when we find St. Nick, what do y'all want us to do to him? Cracked ribs? Fractured skull? Little eye gouge?

  Craig Jones , Day-Day : Fractured skull.

  Day-Day : Beat da shit out of him.

  Craig Jones : Eye gouge. That's the shit.

  Officer Hole : [writes it down]  And an eye gouge.

• Craig Jones : You need to work on yo people skills.

  Day-Day : That's some bullshit. My people skills are way better than yours, nigga.

• Craig Jones : You ain't evictin' nobody, 'less you got a motherfuckin' army wit you.

  Mrs. Pearly : I don't need no army, Mr. Smart-ass. My son Damon home right now.

  Craig Jones , Day-Day : DAMON?

  Craig Jones : [in narrative]  I had a nightmare 'bout that fool last night.

  Damon : [flashes to dream; Damon walks into Craig and Day-Day's prison cell]  Day-Day. Craig. Which one of you bitches is gonna wash my drawers tonight?

  Craig Jones , Day-Day : [pointing to each other]  That would be him.

  [Damon tosses his laundry on both of them] 

  Day-Day : I wash on Sundays... anyway.

  Craig Jones : Starch or press?

  Damon : Starch, nigga!

• Moly : You guys are top-flight security, best in the whole wide world. You have to defend this whole place with your own lives.

  Day-Day : And I'd die for this shit too.

• Day-Day : Damn, Daddy, you got another one? You gon' catch something.

• Day-Day : I ain't goin'.

  Craig Jones : Stop being so scary. All our stuff might be in there.

  Day-Day : I'm not... why you always got to be a hero, man? Take your... go on over there, I'll bet something bite you in the ass. I'm not going.

  Craig Jones : I don't wanna get bit in the ass.

• Craig Jones : How is she gonna like you when she like me?

  Day-Day : Because she hadn't seen me yet.

  Craig Jones : I wish I hadn't seen you yet.

• Day-Day : Why'd you fire me, Pinky?

  Pinky : I had to! You were always late, fool.

• Moly : [while smoking a cigar]  Take lunch, one half hour. Don't be late!

  [walks away] 

  Day-Day : That's a dirty motherfucker. He gon' blow smoke in our face on the first arrest? That's bullshit.

  Craig Jones : See? I told you there ain't no future in being a company man.

• Craig Jones : Day-Day, we only security guards, okay? Ghetto security guards at that. We ain't Cops, we ain't America's Most Wanted, N.Y.P.D. Blue, none of that shit you watch.

  Day-Day : Something like that.

  Craig Jones : No, nothing like that.